can you tell me a good smsing joke

10 Signs Your Boss Is Spying On You 10. Wherever you go you're followed by a potted plant in loafers. 9. The bracelet he gave you for Christmas beeps if you leave your cubicle 8. Office coffee has hint of hazelnut and sodium pentothal. 7. Your name:"Sam." Next to your parking spot: "Reserved for the guy following Sam" 6. Find yourself getting tasered more than with previous bosses. 5. Your new secretary looks a lot like that chick from "Alias" 4. Instead of photos of wife and kids on his desk, he has a photo of you sleeping. 3. When you're alone in the men's room, a voice tells you to quit blocking the lens. 2. Boss critical of typos in your personal e-mails. 1. The fax machine just coughed.

One day, a blind man and his dog are walking down a street, they come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down. The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!" The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his A$$."

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

A concerned husband went to the doctor to talk about his wife. He said to the doctor, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor replied, "go home tonight, stand about 15 feet from her, and say something. If she doesn't reply, move 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this until we get an idea about the severity of her deafness." The husband went home and did exactly as the doctor had instructed. He started off 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she was chopping some vegetables. He said, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He heard no response. He moved 5 feet closer and asked again. No reply. He moved 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He finally got fed up and moved right behind her, about an inch away, and asked again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replied, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

A very desperate marriage.A man really loved a woman,but he was just too shy to propose to her.Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married.Of coure,they dated about once so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day,he became determined to ask the question.So he calls her on the phone, June. Yes,this is June. Will you marry me? Of course I will!Who`s this?