Am I beeing selfish and unfair?
By Marie2473
@Marie2473 (8512)
Sweden
January 18, 2007 1:36pm CST
I just learned yesterday that my grandfather (on my mothers side) is sick and that he might not even have a year to live. He has called my mother and told her that he really wants the whole family to come up and visit him before he dies so that he can say his goodbyes...
I really do not want to go. I really don´t even like him and I have baerly spoken to him since I was about 5 years old. (I am 26 now)
So, a little background to this.
He belongs to the jehovas Witnesses and has always on the few occations I´ve spoken to him (while beeing at my mothers) tried to persuade me into joining as well.
I do not have any interest and I think it is just a sect that brainwashes people. I have heard all the things that he has done to my mother while she was growing up and I see nothing but a monster looking at him.
My mom is not very fond f him either, but says... well he IS my father..
The thing is my mom and dad really thinks I should go so that he can say goodbye - but i don´t really see the point. I don´t even know him - no matter how much of his blood runs in my veins.
Am I beeing selfish? Should I just swollow my recent and go and let him say his goodbyes?
3 people like this
3 responses
@SunlightSwoon (1060)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I would not want to be in your shoes, because you are being ask to give something of yourself to a person that has given you nothing at all. Whatever you do decide on doing, that final choice will be something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. And it is a decision that only you can make. Do you think there is a chance that maybe he wants to apologize and ask for forgiveness, or share something about his life or childhood that he was unable to share before? If that is a possibility you also have to consider that when making a decision. I am really sorry I couldn't be of help to you, I just hope that in the end whatever you do decide to do you are completely satisfied with the choice...SS
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
22 Jan 07
I have a very hard time beliving that he will ever apologize for anything he´s ever done.. and I have also decided not to go. it just doesn´t feel right to me
@quanto50 (140)
• Sweden
19 Oct 07
Marie I am sorry for being rude but I think you are being not only selfish but very nasty girl.. at the end that person is your grandfather not the passer by in the street. I know that in Europe people are this way I mean the family are like gas molecules but still person should have have some moral obligations .. would you ever want that your child would do the same thing to you? leave and ask other peoples ideas about this kind of thing on the forums?
I think it is very immoral from your side..where is your humanity? where is your Morality? where is your empathy?
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
21 Oct 07
I dont think swedish is an approved language on this site =)
Well, you might think I am beeing a bad person, however I do not care about him and I do not wish to see him.
Even if he is my grandfather by blood, that does not make him the right to be in my life now when he hasnt before.
@quanto50 (140)
• Sweden
21 Oct 07
I really don't know about you.but still think it is unfair and immoral thing I have ever witnessed..truly ..Actually Europe's welfare stuff actually has pushed most of the people into solitude and moral crisis where human simply can not understand why he or she is living. Everyone is directed into their own self interest and lives.It's not a bad thing of course it should be but to an extent. You are not the only example European Society.I lived with one guy from Göteborg .He lives in Mölndal Krökslatts .He lives at the beginning of the street and his father lives in the middle and his mother lives at the end of the street and they see each other very rarely according to his words once or twice a year and he has a kinda manouvre and indifference to his own parents.Says that it's not interesting to him his parents lives.I was shocked.People seem unhappy anyway.the source is the depletion of Moral Values.if the person doesnotcare about his parents then this person will definitely not do any good to any other person.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
I don't think you are being selfish and I read that last comment and don't undesratnd why somebody would tell you , you are nast girl.I think he is being very rude.I can understand how you feel and I would feel the same.But some people probably don't understand that.I don't know how did you decide that time, becuase I see this discussion is pretty old, but still I think each of us has a right to decide how we want.
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
21 Oct 07
Thanks alot for your comment.
I did not go by the way and I have no regrets about it!
