Who should pay for the wedding?

I think that tradition may have started when weddings were small little gatherings, with a bride wearing her mother's handed down gown exchanging vows with her mate. Simple sweet little church weddings. Now, they are like some HUGE Broadway Musical. No strike that a Musical would most likly be cheaper and less exciting LOL. I think it's crazy to have a wedding costing the price of a small house. It's rather more crazy parents are willing to put them selves yet again in debt for their children. Me, I think once they become adults they should be able to figure out how to cover the cost of their own wedding. However, I am a mother of two girls, so yes I am going to be a bit one sided on this. :-)

diffrent country diffrent tradition, is depend where is your live. in my country no problem at all.is only tradition each province about paying for weddings.no problem.

We have 3 daughters and we will help them with what little bit we can (I figure a couple thousand at most to cover small things) if we have that but we will not pay for their weddings. My parents did not pay for my wedding, nor did I ask them to or expect that they would. And because of that I didn't get that big huge fancy white wedding. We took our vows in my in-law's living room. We spent like $100 on the wedding, $160 on my husband's clothes, $500 on out rings and $1800 on our honeymoon. The honeymoon was really a hard one. We didn't have the money for it but I really wanted to do something special since we didn't have a big wedding. Originally we were going to spend a few hundred dollars and spend a couple nights in a nice hotel in the city but instead we went to Disney World. My parents gave us $500 as a gift and we spent it while we were in Florida. There was no rehearsal dinner or a reception really. There weren't that many people there because none of my family wanted to travel 10 hours to get to the small town I lived in. So only my parents came from my family. Most of my husband's family was there since they lived in town and one of my friends was there with her 3 kids (2 were in the wedding as the maid of honor and flower girl). After the wedding we went to my sister in law's house for cake. My dad did take us, my in-laws and 2 sisters in law out to dinner and drinks the night before which cost a bit. But I didn't ask him to do that.

traditionally it has been that the brides parents pay but both times that I was married we paid for our own. I did not have a big wedding either time though.

The tradition in my country is that the parents of the groom and the groom himself sponsor the wedding were as the parents of the bride and the bride herself sponsor the kitchen party. Relatives of both the bride and the groom contribute towards bothe events if they are able.

I am saving money for my daughter and if I am rich, I will give her the world, however,if I am just a normal person like I sit here today, the money I have alloted for her will only go so far. If she doesn't require money from me for schooling, the money can go towards a wedding. If for whatever reason she doesn't need help there, I can give her down payment on a house. That's my plan, to just save money and see who she becomes and then decide what it will be best to put the money towards.

I personally thinking we should pay for our own wedding. it is just signal to show to other people we are ready for new life and we don't need parents help to much again.

I didn't expect my parents to foot the bill. Matter of fact I paid for most of it. My mom paid for the paper that we had picked for invitations. We designed and made the invitations ourselves (came out nice) I bought and did the flowers. My dad well he showed up. My now husband and I paid for rehearsal dinner. I think now days it shouldn't be put on the family of the bride. If the family can afford it kudos for them. But if it is going to put the family in debt the groom to be and the bride to be need to step up to the plate.

i dont see why the bridge and groom dont pay for the wedding themselves? i dont particularly want a big, expensive wedding, so i guess i dont understand how ANY wedding can cost $50,000. that just seems like a ridiculous cost for a 1-day event.

I know that I have three daughters and there is no way I could afford to pay for an expensive wedding. My husband says he will buy the plane ticket and they can go to Vegas. LOL

Heya, I do not think it is reasonable to expect the parents to pay for the wedding in this day and age, unless of course they have the resources as you mentioned. I had a really really simple wedding which cost about 2000 dollars and my mother did put in about 100 and my mother in law about 500. I think its all about the means that a person has, but certainly it is not reasonable to expect parent to fork out that type of money for a wedding. I think for me and for the opinions i have heard from my friends, that its an outdated concept for the parents to pay. Tanika.

When I got married I paid for my own wedding along with my husband. I don't think the parents should be expected to pay for the wedding. Especially now that the divorce rate is so high and weddings can get ridiculously expensive!

Times are definately changing. Nowadays, the parents of both sides, and the couple themselves all pitch in to try and make that day special. I believe that it's not only the bride and groom's special day, but the parents also, so why shouldn't they help make it happen.

In this day an age, I believe couples should be able to divide all expenses in which they are both in the process of incurring. What I mean is that if both individuals are going to be involved in the "expense", they should both pay for it. If I'm going to buy a car for me to use, I'm not going to expect my significant other to pay for it.

Personally, I think couples should take responsibility for their own wedding. It's 2007, not 1930. Parents have enough things to deal with these days (social security, medical cost, prescription cost), without having the burden of a wedding(s) on their backs. With the divorce rates through the roof these days, it's not really like it'd be worth it to foot the bill. Half the couples will probably be done and over, long before that bill is paid off. That's just my perspective. I've been raised in a do-it-yourself sort of household. I don't expect people to pay for things that I can or should foot the bill for myself. Maybe I'm too independent. *shrug*

I don't know why People are willing to pay that much for a wedding to be honest But everyone to their own I think in this Day and age it should be split between all of them to be honest In 1981 I paid for my own wedding and I mean Paid not my Ex Husband my Savings that my Grandma had done for me since I was born paid for it and My Ex went over the top with things I hated the Day and it also turned out Nasty But if People are willing to pay that much ok but I do believe that everyone should chip in

well parents gave birth to the sons , and parents gave birth to daughters.it is their duty to get the child to a safer side.when the son or daughter starts earning , they would have started only by 20 and it is not possible they have enough to meet the wedding expenses .there is one more reason , if the son has to pay for everything then parents have no right to ask him to contribute to the family.

I in for that you pay for your own wedding and if the parents want and have the money then they can chip in with what they think they can handle. I mean realy with the things people want in their weddings today you could but your first house for that kind of money. And then think of Elisabeth Taylor, what if her father had to pay for all 7 weddings. Hi hi poor man;-)

I got married last October. My folks paid for the wedding...but definitely not a $50,000 wedding! My Dad gave me a budget of $10,000 (still *very* generous, I think) and I cam ein at about half that - or a little more. No more than $7,000. The church had a fee for upkeep, the sexton (who more than earned her keep), etc. That included the organist, programs, and a few other things. We spent about $100 on recpetion decorations - mostly bought on clearance or at the dollar store! I had a fall theme, so we used a lot of autumn leaf type garlands (and they were the attractive ones, not the bright garish fake-looking ones). Also some pumpkins (real) mini-squash, and apples. A dear friend did the food - that was about $1000 for food for 150 (we expected 100, about 50 showed up...but he always does things to excess!) My wedding dress was handmade, and the materials (all real silk - and real pearls) cost less than a tenths of the value of the dess. (As a comparison - my sister's wedding dress, made of all synthetics, cost twice the $$ cost of mine). What else?...Oh, there were flowers, photographer, reception music. (AGain, all friends.) My matron of honor *made* the favors as her wedding gift to us. (She's a ceramicist/potter). She also made her dress. And we made the invitations. Not an incredibly cheap wedding, but as a happy medium - between "just the family in the living room" and "church wedding with reception" I think we found a pretty happy medium! ~Sara

You are right of about why the parents should foot the wedding cost. We are 3 daughters of our parents and I went for a register marriage inspite of being the eldest daughter. Nowadays In India the wedding cost is borne by both the groom and the bride's side. Actually that is the best thing to do as both the side is not burdened specially if the family is from a low income group.