Does any one else feel...
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
United States
January 19, 2007 8:34am CST
bogged down by the restraints of money? It's like my freedom has been taken away because you have to have money to do anything at all. Then you work all the time in hopes that one day you can do it and then before you know it your compelety stressed out and miserable because you never have enough time to relax. It's like a never ending cycle.
5 responses
@SaraCate (184)
• Canada
19 Jan 07
This issue is looked at in depth in the book "Your Money or Your Life" by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robbins. It's all about achieveing financial independence and making conscious decisions about money and possessions.i.e., Is having this (house, car, knick-knack) worth what it takes out of you? Do you want one more thing to pick up and dust around? Is car A at $30,000 worth twice as much of your life energy as car B at $15,000...or car C at $5,000?
I understand where you're coming from. I had the freedom - at the time- to choose less. Lived in a "less posh" apaprtment, didn't bother with a car for a time, etc. I was living *contentedly* on what I made temping half-time.
I know not everyone has that choice. If you are in a place where you can, I would really recommend that book. It starts where you're at, IMO.
Hope this helps - and that you feel less burdened soon,
~Sara
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
19 Jan 07
The possessions isn't really a big deal to me deep down. The things I really want to do are travel extesively. I think it would be facinating to study personally other cultures and religons. Or at least see lots of really cool places. But it costs so much money to do all that. Just to go to England it'd be like between $5k - $10K. We just don't got that kind of money. We pretty much live pay check to pay check. And when we do get a little extra money we end up buying DVDs or something. Just to make every day life a little nicer. Or something comes up with the cars or the house...it never ends. I just may have to check that book out. I wish we could live without a car. But living in the country - can't really do it. It'd be nice to have one though. But it'd be a big incovience. Thanks for the support.
1 person likes this
@SaraCate (184)
• Canada
19 Jan 07
No problem. Being married/having a family /etc. certainly changes things - the period I described, I was single and living in a decent-sized city. I grew up in the country (on a farm), so I understand the issues with transportation and stuff there.
Is your husband into any kind of volunteer/service work? There are ways to travel really cheap - even just a week or two (i.e. vacation-time-off) - if you're willing/able to do an "alternative" type of vacation. I love travel too...I was fortunate to be able to do quite a bit before "settling down." A lot of it was work- or service-realted though. E.g., I travelled with a friend as camerawoman/saleperson/creative consultant for his hypnosis show. My sister went to Latin America with Habitat for Humanity one spring break when she was in uni.
I realize these may not be realistic for you right now, but having dealt with depression, I also know sometimes it's hard to think past the challenges. Just trying to offer some possibilities. ...I also know sometimes that's the last thing people want to hear about, so feel free to tell me to shut up if you need to. :):)
~Sara
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I thank you very much for your help. I hadn't considered that type of travel before though I doubt he'd be willing too. Actually he has no desire to get on a plane. He'd like to see certain countries and things but not more than doesnt' want to getting on a plane. I look at like if I die doing something I want to do then it's worth it.
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I know what you are talking about. It is so frustrating to want to be able to go some where, take a class and learn something, or just take a break and not be able to afford to. You work and work and try to save but then something happens and all the money you have been saving is gone and you have to start over again. This goes on year after year and then it is time to retire - but you have ruined your health and don't have anything saved so you still have to find other ways to try to make a little extra cash just to pay for necessities - food, clothing, shelter, transportation, medical. I am not at retirement yet, but the prospect of retirement is frightening instead of something to look forward to.
1 person likes this
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
19 Jan 07
yes it is, and i do not know how to relax, my boyfriend tells me all the time that i need to just breath and relax, and i like how can i relax when i work all the time, i clean i cook and i do it all over and day after day and never get a break.
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
19 Jan 07
That is exactly how I'm feeling. I never get any "alone" time as I like to call it. I'm naturally a loner so it's really rough for me. I use to have 3 days off from work instead of 2 but I feel so guilty about it because we really could use that money. Plus my hubby is often lucky to get a weekend off (works at a factory). When were off we usually spend most of our time together (unless we're online for a little bit a day). I love that time too and don't want to give it up. Then there are so many things that need to be taken care of around the house too. I end up feeling like a bad wife because I can't do all the things I feel I should be doing/want to do in a day. Plus my hubby and I have very different interests so I have to cram any extra time I have alone to try to fit those things I love doing into it. If you come up with any ideas please let me know and I'll do the same :)
@tiffanymarie (191)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I understand what you mean when you express your thoughts about money. I think it is one of the worse problems to have in life. If one has money issues for to long then it really does take our freedom away or at least it feels like it strips us of our freedom. For years I attempted to do everything to make my quality of life better. I worked two jobs, borrowed money, took out loans, use coupons, drove old car, move to cheaper apartment, etc.. Even with all of those things I did it still caused me to sometimes feel stressed out. If you feel pressured and unable to relax try going for a walk, exercise, meditate, pray, talk to a financial advisor, debt consolidator, or debt counselor. I am not saying you are in debt, but maybe they can give you some ideas that you have not thought of. Also, look at all of your concerns about your money situation and see if there is a plan you can come up with. Starting a budget or make a list of everything you can in order to reduce some of the pressure. You are right it is like a cycle - but you have to remember that you can't spend all of your time thinking about this problem. You need to do something for yourself in order to not have this on your mind so much. At least you are trying to do something about it - you are here on mylot that is a start. Things will get better it just takes time.
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
20 Jan 07
We're in debt but it's not much when you take away car payments and the house payments. The cars are our biggest payments (together). We do have a budjet too. We always have. You pretty much got to.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
24 Oct 10
depression is overloading the mind with multiple thoughts or pressures, that the mind or brain cannot able to withstand..so we burst out in depression and tension
