Rape - Dealing with it's pain.
@inspired4fr33 (350)
United States
January 19, 2007 9:06pm CST
Ever since I was young I always noticed something about my mom that was kind of odd to me. She always avoided going down to Florida to visit our grandparents and when they would come up to visit us only my grandmother would come. I never understood why until I overheard my mother talking to my grandmother one night. She had been crying and cursing at her and she revealed that she had been raped by her father. Now I honestly never met the guy, but apparently my mother lived a crappy childhood and had no one to run to. Today, knowing this I feel so bad and wanna do something to ease her pain although I know its internal and she probably tries to never access those memories, I still feel like I should hug her or say something but then again I dont wanna bring up her ugly past and create tension and bad feelings in her life now. I think rape is totally disgusting and such a violation of a persons dignity and privacy. Theres no excuse for it whatsoever and it shouldnt be happening to daughters, sons, wives, brothers, sisters, or anybody period. Comitting such a terrible sin is downright distasteful. I really feel for those who've been through anything like this or is going through it now. I really hope it doesnt happen ever to anybody cuz they shouldnt have to endure that type of punishment.
8 people like this
47 responses
@huneebunch2737 (170)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I agree with you 100%. When I was fifteen years old, my best friend was raped at a party that we had thrown at a hotel. I always felt so guilty because her and my other friend were very drunk, they were throwing up all over the bathroom, so my friend had them take a shower and put them to bed. I had left the room because I could not stand seeing them in that state so I went to the lobby. The hotel manager had given us the room if we had let him and his friend come party with us, since we were all under eighteen. His friend ended up getting in bed in between my two friends while they were both passed out. My friend woke up when he was pulling out of her. I ended up growing up very fast after this happened. I felt so much guilt for leaving her in that room, but there was nothing I could do about it. The worst part was, that when she brought him to court, he only got six years.
2 people like this
@tynishabarnes (51)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Thats crazy..but at least he got soemtime in jail. you should not feel guilty because she should have never gotton to that point anyway. i cant believe young girls think that its cool to be drunk and to party. i hope my daughter never thinks that this is a cool way of being a teenager.
@shemb1 (464)
• Sri Lanka
20 Jan 07
Hey I am sorry for this. you know this is soo bad world because some of people doing bad things during their whole life. So what to do? thats why law is there?
I know you mom had suffered past but I think now it is time for her to start smile. and you are the one who can do this for her life. Dont let her alone and dont let her chance to stay inside think and think over again. because that has happend now we cant to anything but we can try to forget that, because we get nothing for remember that bad happen. so be good and be postive.
@kasswitsass (18)
• United States
20 Jan 07
This is just terrible. I was the victim of a rape when I was 15. I've never talked about it to really anyone before. people know, but I've never talked about it. It's a terrible thing to go through, It rips you of everything. has a huge effect on relationships and your entire life. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
@moneymaka (492)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Wow im stunned, why would your father rape his own daughter, this is really creepy, i really dont know what i would do in a situation like this. But i know someone who has been raped by an adult.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
21 Jan 07
From the pain of my own childhood I imagine your Mother must feel terrible about herself. Can you find it in your heart to be very gentle and loving with her. Only you know if you can approach her with what you've discovered. Maybe she won't want to talk to you about it. Be close to her. Be her friend. Let her know how much you love her and how special she is. Be subtle. Put yourself in her place and treat her as you would like to be treated. ((((hugs))))
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
20 Jan 07
As a Survivor of Abuse when I was growing up, and was Sexually, Physically, and Emotionally abused by my Step Dad when I was a teenager growing up, and then Raped later in life by other men, I can relate what she is going thru, and No even though you learn to move on, at times the memories will always be there, but I have learned I am a Survivor. It is just hard for me somedays even though I am Happy married to not allow the memories to come back, or worse yet the Flashbacks.
If I were you, when the timing is right, I would go to your Mom and give her a Big Hug and talk about the situation, to help you better understand what she is going thru. Be a Support for her, and know she can count on you. I am sure she would really appreciate it.
@magdollars23 (1685)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Yea i feel for your mother very much as well as anyone else who has been raped or sexually assaulted. As you said it is a very disgusting thing to do to someone and again as you said there is no excuse or no reason for someone to do that.
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I am so sorry to hear about this and I can understand your moms pain. If this were a child we were talking about everyone would say talk to them get them some help so that they can deal with this. However this is your mom we are talking about. I do not know if she ever got any counseling or any kind of help but I think that she should if she did not. I also feel that maybe you should tell your mom that you over heard the conversation and you just want her to know that you are there if she should ever need someone to talk to. As long as she thinks that you do not know she is going to continue to keep it locked inside of her. It will help her to have someone to talk to about this. If she knows that you know she just may be ready to talk. I don't think that she will approach you with it but you could approach her with the fact that you know. This is just my opinion and I know that the talking was the only thing that helped me.
@cuterose (1698)
• India
20 Jan 07
i'm so sorry about ur mother. definitely she need a councelling. but u dont talk to her directly about this issue. u talk about this indirectly. like, some other girl was suffering the same problem and she was given good advice and speech and so she's fine now.
@mikaghi (388)
• United States
20 Jan 07
i feel sorry for u and ur mom. u are right..there is no fitting punishment for crime like this. still, we have to do something to make the criminals repent their crime. i suggest u to talk with ur mom about her pain.tell her how much u love her and keep her strong. also..i feel, it would be better if ur mother did not have any contact with her parents..it would just bring the pain back.
@ronita34 (3922)
• Canada
20 Jan 07
This is and always will be a very touchy and emotional subject for all involved. It can be very aggravating for the victim and you can never really completely shut it out. It always seems to be somewhere in your memory and its frightening. All you can do is be there for the persona and give as much support as they need!
@ritzritu (173)
• India
20 Jan 07
In my opinion,if you think you are grown up enough to manage her than take her for counceling.Well it can never take out the pain 100% but it will ease her.Might be she is thinking you will hate her for this.Make her feel whatever is the case you will always love her be with her.Once she come to knw you knw about it it will be easy for her to show her emotions in front of you.else its difficult for her to manage herself in front of you.you can become her strength.
@RomanceGoddess (55)
• United States
20 Jan 07
This is definatly a tough one hon, does she know that you heard the converstaion? If so, you can just reassure her that she turned out to be a great person, a good mom and you are there for her if she ever needs.
If she doesnt know that you heard it, perhaps you could share with her that you know and that she doesnt have to feel she needs to hide it from you any longer and that you love her. That you know it wasnt her fault.
@326744 (10)
• India
20 Jan 07
i'm sorry to hear about this. I think the best you could do is let her know that you will be there for her always and she could share everything with you. just reassure her that there is some one who looks up to her and who cares for her. she would definitely feel better. it wud b better u avoid mentioning that you heard al this. thats wat i feel.
@vnssmart5 (182)
• India
20 Jan 07
those idiots must be hangged on the main road then we can avoid some
@Monjoy (71)
• India
20 Jan 07
Dont talk to her about it... but make sure you give her all the happpiness you can... be there for her because she felt like she had no one... now she has you and make her happy in whatever you do... dont give her time to think about the past... she wil learn to forget it... n yeah pray for her...
