To obey or not to obey your husband???
@justinefontaine (90)
Philippines
January 19, 2007 9:36pm CST
The Bible says that wives should be submissive to their husband.
Before i got married, my husband spoils me so much that he does the things i asked from him.
When we got married, m still like that coz it's not easy to break old habits.
After 2 years of marriage, he started to act more dominant and asked me to listen to what he has to say. Since we have different points of view, we argued about some things, small to a bigger scale.
Now, when i think about it. I started to ask myself how we could compromise and it dawned on me about the bible passage that says "Wives should be submissive to their husbands and husbands should love their wife"
I started pondering about it and tried to apply it to my life and guess what? It works.
Though, i'm not saying that we don't argue anymore, i still tell him about my point of view and offer him suggestions on some things but i let him decide and I just prayed to the Lord that my husband would be guided with his decisions.
Do you obey your husband?
12 people like this
107 responses
@fiveisallofus (273)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I love being the wife. I love taking care of him, serving him (food), Pleasing him, giving him children. I love having a MAN! If the roles were reversed I think he would be a winnie! I dont mean to put anyone down at all. But I love him being in control, and taking care of us. I feel secure and safe. He is a great, strong and loving man. But he respects me and will never disrespect me. We dont argue much at all. We comunicate very well. And yes I do obey him, out of trust.
3 people like this
@raveena (1353)
• India
20 Jan 07
Rightly said five and I you have my vote on it. If my husband loves me and takes care of even the smallest thing that I require so what is the harm in obeying him and keep the house peaceful. There are some faults in every human being NO MAN IS PERFECT.
@fiveisallofus (273)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I love being the wife. I love taking care of him, serving him (food), Pleasing him, giving him children. I love having a MAN! If the roles were reversed I think he would be a winnie! I dont mean to put anyone down at all. But I love him being in control, and taking care of us. I feel secure and safe. He is a great, strong and loving man. But he respects me and will never disrespect me. We dont argue much at all. We comunicate very well. And yes I do obey him, out of trust.
3 people like this
@kesfylstra (1868)
• United States
20 Jan 07
The Bible says to obey our husbands when they are obeying the Lord in being good leaders of the household. If your husband is a good Christian, and you have faith that he has faith to follow Christ's leadership, and if he loves you as Christ loves the church, then it is natural to want to follow him, as the Church follows Christ. That does not mean blind following, and it does not mean that wives have to do WHATEVER their husbands say, but it sounds like you have a good handle on things. Thank you for your testimony. My husband is on the other side of the planet at the moment, but perhaps when he returns I will try harder... because frankly he's right most of the time anyway!
@grayxenon (1313)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
This is the better quote or should i say the complete one..
When you quote the bible do not quote it as i single phrase or single sentence..Read it as a whole, many are divided in interpreting the bible becuase most of them quotes the bible incompletly..
Good Job.
@craftwave (1338)
• United States
20 Jan 07
It is so refreshing to hear someone go beyond the first part of that scripture. If husbands loved their wives like Christ loved the church then they would always try to make the right choices based not on their wants and needs but on the wants and needs of those he loves. And when the wives obey their husbands or are submissive to his choices is a great thing as you are finding out. My husband and I rarely make dicisions without discussing it together first. But ultimately it is his choices that we will go by. But he loves me enough to get my input so that he can make the best dicision for all of us not just himself.
2 people like this
@not4me (1711)
• United States
20 Jan 07
I don't believe in the Bible but my husband and I have been married for 6 years so far and we have always been equal partners. I think the bible is very outdated in this regard and I think becoming equal in relationships and in the workforce is all part of our natural evolution.
2 people like this
@muliercingarus (60)
•
20 Jan 07
Hi Justine,
What an interesting question!
The bible indeed says women should be submissive to their husbands - but does this mean all wives should agree with everything their husband says and does?
I believe that husbands should love their wives, and part of that loving is being aware of their wife's needs and expectations too.
To truly love someone is to love them in the way they most need and to make life as easy and as troublefree for the person they love as is possible surely?
Both husbands and wives should be aware of the others feelings - even if they don't agree with them.
I personally believe prayer is an extremely powerful tool, and not only that, praying helps the person praying to understand the things they want in life as well.
I believe The Lord answered your prayers, however, please don't forget to pray for some of the things you want too. You are as important to The Lord as your husband.
Don't forget that Justine!
Love from,
Muliercingarus.
2 people like this
@sarah22 (3979)
• United States
20 Jan 07
OBAY.......Ido not obey my husband like you have in this, we are equal and work together. we talk about things and come to agreements together. its not who obeys who. marriges are for one to work out together and live happy. domaneriance just makes one feel trapped and less of an indevidual.im glad your marrige is working out to the way you want and best of luck to you all.
1 person likes this
@samaira (162)
• India
20 Jan 07
if u concentrate on d statement u referred...it said husbands should love their wives n wives shud b submissive..so its basicallly both of dem who have to listen to each other..but as it is a known fact that women r less egoistic n have abilty to understand n love d partner more...i feel women shud always come forward to carry on a healthy relationship..
1 person likes this
@shah_1448 (156)
• India
20 Jan 07
You should respect and obey your husband if he does the same with you.
@randyequal (439)
• China
20 Jan 07
Congratulatoins first that you have find a peaceful way to stay with your husband. I think Bible is right that "Wives should be submissive to their husbans and husbans should love their wivs". I think you are a very wise woman to change your way, change your thoughts so that you can lead a happy life with your husbands. I am not a husbans now, but I think I will love my wife and we will sit and talk our disagreements. Maybe sometimes I need to compromise because I am a man.
@kirenz (374)
• Canada
20 Jan 07
I agree what bible says and I agre wat Quran says. they both say same things. But it also says that i fyou husband is being unfair to you, you don't have to listent o him. like wives have some resposibilities towords husband, husband have some towords wive too.
yes I obey mine, and i have a happy life. If i think he is wrong, i do tell him that i have a reason and he listens to me and understand, sometimes he has a high temper than i wait till he is in a good mood.
1 person likes this
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Yes, I obey my husband but not to the extent that I don't question his decisions at all. But am just lucky that me and my husband are on equal footing and he never makes me feel inadequate. He is the man of the house, the king of the castle and the pillar of the home so I will not take that away from him.
1 person likes this
@honeybunnie (51)
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
you know what? your right it happened to me just the same when we were still boyfriends and girlfriends i was spoiled by my husband so much but after giving birth to our children he became diffrent like you i have to obey what he said, cant argue with him so what i did i try to keep quiet do what he said and yes not fights no arguements no crying times... just be patient there will come a time he will relize what he's doing is wrong.
1 person likes this
@holyboymike (50)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
husband and wife is part of the family. they must decide which would have the greatest benefit. Its good your giving suggestions to your husband and letting him decide. But make should he make the right decisions.
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
20 Jan 07
I really don't believe in that. Not in this day and age. My boyfriend is always trying to tell me what to do...sometimes I listen..but most of the time I don't. We aren't married..and he is not my boss...so why should I let him boss me around....
1 person likes this
@ayushi (224)
• India
20 Jan 07
its not about obetying..its about understanding..
both should listen to what the other person has to say..as you said you tell him his point of view and the best part is that your husband thinks over it...god bless your relationship..!!
it is all about discussing the things in a mture way..it about listening to each other and not arguing on small things..
you have found a good solution for yourself..good..!!
go on..settle your things peacefully..thats how relationships work and let me tell you have got an understanding husband....god bless you both!!
@panicqueen (175)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
For me, it's not obeying your husband but respecting your husband. Sometimes, it's a case to case basis, other husband tend to be so dominant and just feels that they are seld righteous, in that case it is not right to simple become as submissive without questions. Marriages are mutual so it just means that the two of you should have the final say on things.
1 person likes this
@yamiboo (466)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
I do not have to obey everything my husband dictates, because firstly, we have agreed that everything in this marriage will be decided upon by the both of us, in short 50-50. I would obey him if I see that his decisions are worth trying and if it makes sense, but more often than not, we discuss things first together and start deciding.
Regarding chores, I do not have to be told what to do by my husband because he knows that I can handle things my way, so he lets me be.
If I go out for somewhere and he tells me to come home at a specific time, I would ask him why and let him know how long i'll take to be out. Obeying him would actually be letting him dictate my life for me all the time.
Marriage is about compromising. Neither one of you is the boss.
1 person likes this
@angelmae (351)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
Even now that I'm not yet married to my finace, I practice being submissive. Because after all, men have higher level of egoes and women were born to be understanding and humble. ehem! It's just give and take. As long as he doesn't abuse my submissiveness, I'm alright with that.
