jokes topic
By shatman
@shatman (727)
January 20, 2007 1:13pm CST
just thought could put a jokes topic in so anyone can post a joke they like and think everyone else will like. heres mine:
a man walks into a bar, and he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. as he fnishes with each groups of people, they get up and go outside the window, looking in. finally the bar is empty, except the man and bartender, the man walks upto the counter and says, 'i bet you $1000 that i can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from 30 feet away, and not get any outside the glass'.
the bartender thinks this guy is a nutter, but he wants the $100 so he agrees. the bartender gets out a shot glass, and places it 30 feet away from the man, and the contest begins. the man sprays beer all over the bar, and doesnt get a drop in the shot glass, the bartender looks at him and says ' well i guess you owe me $1000.
the man answers, ' yeah, well i bet all those people outside $500 a piece, that i could spray beer all over the bar. lol
so lets get cracking with your jokes
4 responses
@Dumpertaker (1187)
•
21 Jan 07
You want jokes? Here are some really lame and distateful ones...
What's Green and goes red at the flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender
What begins with P, ends in O, and has millions of letters?
Post Office
What's green and comes out your nose at over 100 mph?
A lambourgreenie
A man walks into a bar....ouch!
Ok, I'll get me coat....
@DeadLeafMantis (75)
•
31 Jan 07
Heres one,
A Camel and it's baby are stood one day when he baby asks, 'Mummy, why do we have big three toed feet?' ' To help us walk across the sandy deserts' answered the mother camel.
'And why do we have long eyelashes?' the baby asked again, 'To keep the sand out of our eyes when the wind blows' The mother responded, getting a bit impatient.
'Why do we have humps then?' asked the baby, 'So we can go for a long time withot needing water!' snapped the mother.
'Mummy?' said the baby.
'WHAT!' screamed the mother.
'Why the f*ck are we in Chester Zoo then?'
@DeadLeafMantis (75)
•
22 Jan 07
heres one for you...
It's a religious joke but I hope no one takes offense, it's only a joke.
Jesus and Moses meet up one day in heaven. Moses says to Jesus, "You know, I haven't parted a sea in a long time, I think I'll do it now." with that Moses raises his hands and parts a nearby sea. Jesus says "That's great, you know I haven't walked on water in a while, I think I'll do it now." With that Jesus walksout onto te water and gets about 10 paces before sinking into the sea. Jesus looks bewildered as he climbs out. "I don't know what happened there, let me try again" So Jesus again steps out onto the sea, this time hetakes anout 20 paces before once again sinking. Climbing out again Jesus says "Whats happeing? Right tis time I'll do it!" Jesus runs out onto the water, getting about 30 paces before sinking. Jesus climb out, looks at Moses and says, "I know hat it is. The last time I did it I didn't have these holes in my feet."
I wa't to again state this is a joke and is not meant to offend anyone.
@Iqram538 (194)
• Sri Lanka
26 Jan 07
I like you idea, it's nice. Well here's mine: A relaton of mine had been to the road for several days when he encountered difficulties with his airline reservation. The prospect of not getting home on time sent him into a tirade, whuch the counter attendant endured stoically. After correcting the error she pinned a bright airline badge on his lapel & told him to show it to the flight attendant as soom as he got on the airplane. Anticipating VIP treatment he immediately sought out a flight attendant & pointed to his badge. She looked puzzled and asked who had given it to him."does it matter" he asked."not really sir,except normally that tag is used to identitify children requiring special attention" .
