Miles Away and Still in the Middle of a Family Feud

Looking at your brother, mother story, I have to say....your brother needs to learn the limits. How he expect sick person to be responsible for taking care of his kids? It is not safe for kids. It is not good for your mother to work if she is sick. Sorry, you have to look at things from common sense perspective.

I know it sounds harsh, but immediately upon picking up the phone, set limits! Say, I am so glad you have called and I am excited to talk to you. However, I will not discuss issues betweeen you and XXX. Those issues need to remain between the two of you. I love each of you dearly and refuse to be in the middle of your argument. Now, lets catch up! " Then begin talking about whats new in your life and inquire about theirs! As long as you do this to each party that calls and you don't play favorites and talk to one party about the issue and not the other, you are being fair. If they keep trying to bring it up, continue setting limits. Say, " Well, I have asked you to keep me out of the middle and you are continuing to bring it up. I'm going to hang up now. Feel free to call back when we can talk more about other things. Love you, Bye. " You have to show them that you really mean it,that you are uncomfortable being in the middle! They will eventually get the picture...and respect you in the long run!

If your Mom is sick, they should be more understanding and not complain to you that she will not take care of the Son anymore. They should take responsibility then maybe themselves for someone else to help care for him other than your Mom. That would be the Adult thing to do really. But maybe there is more to this than they are willing to share, but they should figure out a way to deal with it other than trying to involve you due to the distance. But I understand how it happens with distance, as it did my family too when my Mom got really sick like 2 yrs. ago, and most of us are in WA state, and my Mom is in Montana.

Well if your mom is really really sick then your brother has no respect for her by asking her to watch their son. It doesn't matter if in the past she never said no. She is saying no now. It is clear who's side you need to take and that is your moms. Why doesn't the exwife take him to her relatives.

o my lord

Invest in caller i.d.!! Let them leave a message and when you are in the frame of mind to deal with them, and able to set limits, you can call them back. If you answer when they call, you can be caught off guard!

Your brother needs to grow up and be a man and quite laying the burden of his personal life on your mother. If your mother is sick, she does not need to be taking care of any children right now. Tell your brother to get his mess together and quit relying on other people to help him solve his problems.

If I were you I would say, I am not getting in the middle of this and I will not discuss it. But I think your mother has already done her job in raising you kids and your brother is unfair to be putting preasue on your mom to babysit even when she is sick. It is not her responsibilty to look after his kids, but his. If you do get involved give your brother s swift kick in the but. Or stick to my first sentence.

I have gone threw many issues such as this, I live 3 hours from my family and i like it is this way, however i still manage to be dragged into there issue`s when i have no idea what is going on, I screen my calls after the first hint of stress , thats it, i no longer get sucked into there drama . I have my own life here and will not let them drag me down with them .I wish you the best with this, it is hard when it is family.

My brother does this with my mom too. She is sick on dialysis and he would leave his baby with her. She can't take care of herself much less a baby. I told him that he can't leave his child with her anymore, she is sick and need's to rest. My sister's also told him the same thing, so eventually he got the point, and now does not ask her to babysit. It really suck's when family is fighting, but in this case I would take your mother side. I would tell my brother to find a babysitter and stop fighting with mom. Good luck

no midnight calls to you about this .I hate late nightor real early morning calls have to answer but I always answer with dread that something bad has happened. Some times you just have to leand an ear but they should expect your mom to take care of the child when she is so sick . I always wwonder what would happen if she passed out or couldnt get help what would happen to the kid, but this could happen to the mom too a fall or something like that I have read where the child has called 911 to get help for that person so if child is old enough that might help your mom . But they do need to settle it theirselves and not enclue you when you are so far away

I feel for you and your family. I really believe your brother is taking advantage of your mom. He also seems very selfish. I hope things get better for u and them.

All of you are family. It is right that you do not take sides. Tell each person what they did wrong ok. Your mother is your mother and you can not stay away from family. Help your mother because she cared for all of you. Your brother should know his limits in this matter , your mother is not a slave.

I would say ur really in gr8 emotional dilemma ,buddy evrybody in the life has problems be it rich or poor how u handle them determines your true test of character, i would suggest u to bring harmony in both of relations .....making them good relnship.......buddy just try to make them bring together and help to improve ur relnship....

Okay well if you ABSOLUTELY have to pick up that phone and talk to to them, take only what you can and leave the rest. It would not be fair of them to tell you to pick a side. They should respect the way you feel about the situation jsut as YOU respect each side. Have you told them that? Tell them to think how it would be in your position. How would they feel? Good luck and you're doing the right thing by not picking a side.

Oh this is dreadful what is wrong with your brother and ex sister in law for even asking when your mother is so sick, I would take sides I would take your mother's side and tell your brother to wake up to himself and be responsible for they are the ones that bought the baby into this world and that your mom has always been there for him but she can't when she is so sick.

grow some balls and tell them to sort it out between them and leave you alone

your brother is very unfortunate

They are your family and you want to help , even if it is only to lend an ear.

You have to tell your brother to grow up. This is his mother you're talking about and instead of flipping out on her for not wanting to watch his kid, he should be taking care of her.