Should you forgive a cheating partner or let go of the relationship?
By bhbirdie6
@bhbirdie6 (1765)
United States
October 6, 2006 11:06am CST
I posted another discussion about my own cheating bf and it has spurred this topic. Should you forgive a cheating partner? Or should you break up? How do you think society views each of these choices? What has worked for you in the past? What's your cheating story and what did you do or not do?
10 responses
@chellene10 (110)
• Philippines
7 Oct 06
I was then three months pregnant when I finally decided to leave my cheating amd abusive boyfriend. I love him a lot but in my condition I didn't want to worry anymore about what he's doing and if he's cheating on me, it's enough that I'm pregnant and that's what I should worry about. A month after our break up he came to me asking, asking for us to talk, I told him there ain't anything to talk about anymore. He said, "But you said you can't live without me". Well, I replied, "People change. Grow up", then I turned my back.
@trebor69 (328)
•
8 Oct 06
i think you made the best move, thinking of yourself,nice one. where has the trust gone?, could you ever get it back? would you want to? it would always be there in the back of your mind, better to move on. for me it is the ultimate sin. how can you break the heart of SOMEONE YOU LOVE. you would'nt be looking for something else and you certainly would'nt "go for it" if it came looking for you.
life's too short, you deserve better. THE LORD FORGIVES.
@maya_n_bennett (4687)
• United States
6 Oct 06
I talk to my hubby about it and we came up with the if one of us cheat on each other, we will forgive one time to each other. second time of cheating, no matter what, the cheater will leave the house. We've been through lot of things together this past 4 years and I hope we dont have to go through this cheating thing.
@bhbirdie6 (1765)
• United States
6 Oct 06
That seems like a reasonable agreement. Has marriage changed your views on cheating at all or are they still basically the same?
@maya_n_bennett (4687)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Little bit, yes. Couple around me, they are always talking about cheating and break up and for me, Im having a good time with my marriage and sometimes, my husband and I wonder why people cheat. Our dreams, views, life, things we want are about the same and we talk all the time so maybe that way we dont have to worry about cheaing.
@LaGitana (277)
• United States
8 Oct 06
In some odd way, however, this kind of agreement made by two partners gives the other the idea that they can do it and get away with it... Like committing some religious sin, then simply going to confession and do a few hail marys and everything is over. I don't know... sounds risky.
@bharathshah (655)
• India
20 Oct 06
im a silent type of a person i wont ask her anything just go of the relation
@Theresam (1177)
• United States
20 Oct 06
If my husband cheated one time I think I could forgive him. However we have a very high level of trust and communication, I don't think he would ever do that. I would hope that he would learn his lesson because he would be gone the second time.
If this was a boyfriend, because the level of commitment isn't there and you cheat once, your gone.
@CoffeeBean (151)
• United States
8 Oct 06
I think you should forgive them and then let go of them. This way you can just move on without any bitterness. It is hard to trust again, cheaters don't deserve a second chance. The law of averages says that they will cheat again.
@LaGitana (277)
• United States
8 Oct 06
A partner who cheats once has made a mistake. If he (or she) cheats again and you stay, it's your mistake. It's a huge rift in a relationship, but one that you can get past IF both of you are mature enough to talk about it and forgiveness must be a part of it. And I am not saying that it's ok to cheat if it's only once. DO NOT HEAR THAT, PLEASE.
Breaking marriage vows (actually ANY vows made before God and witnesses) is a very serious thing and does great damage to the psyche. The cheater is already paying dearly for this error. Does the one who's been betrayed also want to break the vows that they took, as well? Then there are two broken psyches.
