if daughter wants to marry against their parents
By mathurvarun
@mathurvarun (980)
India
January 21, 2007 7:31am CST
suppose u have a daughter and she wants to marry a guy which you think is not suitable for her..now what ll u do? if you let her marry wid that guy u r actually pushing her in a well to die..if no allow her then u can break her heart..its a tough decision think and answer
3 people like this
15 responses
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
it's really a tough one. if i have a daughter like that,i can only show advice her, show her the bad side if she marries that guy but i cannot impose my will upon her. i don't wanna decide and live my daughers life. if that's what she want, i will support her. if the marriage fails, i will still be here for her.
@lotusrose2007 (106)
• India
26 Jan 07
But you know very well that her future will get affected then how can you allow the marriage to happen?
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
30 Jan 07
ya same question if u know her future is in danger then how can u support it
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
23 Feb 07
ok there is no legal way to prevent her but its parents moral responsibility to prevent her
@emmaoxley (525)
•
21 Jan 07
I think that she should be supported in her decision even if the mother believes he is the wrong man for her daughter (in most cases what man is ever going to be good enough for your daughter). You can't choose who you fall in love with, the heart wants what it wants. If it doesn't work out then be there for her and don't say I told you so. Sometimes I believe that people learn better from making their own mistakes.
@emmaoxley (525)
•
29 Jan 07
I think the more you try and stop someone from doing something then the more likely they are to do it behind your back. I would speak to the daughter, express my feelings and doubts in a calm way. Explain to the daughter that you love her and could not bear to see her get hurt. When I was younger I always thought my mum nagged me too much. Now I'm older and see that she has 'Been there and done that' and knows what she is talking about. My mother will give me advice and let me do what I wish with it. Maybe speak to the man in this triangle and see what he has to say for himself. You say this man is unsuitable but in what way?
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
29 Jan 07
But suppose ur daughter is making a wrong decision then also u r supporting her that means u r giving ur daughter in wrong hands
@delaney36 (817)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
It is a tough one indeed for parents but it will be much tougher for her. I can only advice her and guide her but the decision is still hers to make. I cannot decide for her even if i am her mother or father coz in the end it is her that would live that life.
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
29 Jan 07
she doesnt has much experience in life..so she dont know whats wrong and whats write...if she decide for something wrong i parents should tell her that its a wrong decision
@lotusrose2007 (106)
• India
26 Jan 07
I am not against love marriage, i support love marriage if the selection of the parter is suitable in all aspects like status, education family background etc, if i feel my daughter has selected wrong partner, i will be against her, i will try to make her understand the situation even though at present i am breaking her heart,it is for her future benefit so if i feel partner is not suitable i will be against her
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
30 Jan 07
u cant loose ur daughter..after sometime she ll understand that whatever u had done with her that was only for her safety and happiness..
@Sweetpeas (738)
• Australia
30 Jan 07
Obviously your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, is old enough to get married, thus old enough to make her own mistakes and learn from them. Unfortunatly in life this happens, when the time comes that we dont make these decisions for our children. At times heartbreaking as we might not agree with their decisions but what choice do we really have? If you think shes going to eventually fall....then be there to catch her xx
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
6 Feb 07
ok that means if she made a decision to go to hell then u ll let her go to hell because she is old...u r much older then her..show her rite way
@tarunbhatia (160)
• India
5 Feb 07
i think you should expose your daughter to some brutal facts of life...convince her that love is nothing but attraction towards something that can change wid time
@valerieanne (811)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Some children will take into account how their parents feel bout their bf/gf before making long term committments, since it could cause stress down the road. Yet in the end, if they choice to marry somebody you don't like you can't do anything about it as it's their life and the person obviously makes them happy. Parents should be happy for their children even if they don't agree.
@mansha (6298)
• India
5 Feb 07
I thionk you can just give them birth and can not write their destiny for them. Kiods today are too independent to listen to anyone. I had two such cases in my family where kids ran away and got married. May be I will counsel my kids to never do that and even if I think its a wqrong choice, I will let them go but I will be there when they realise that and want to come back and break off the relationship.
@Wolfsbayne (314)
•
21 Jan 07
Marriage is about the happy union of two people, if those two people are going to live together and be happy and healthy, who is anyone to stop them?
@Sergio_Oliveira (120)
• Andorra
21 Jan 07
I would try my best to stop her from marrying him, if i was sure he was no good. However, if she truly loved him, my opinion would most likely not even matter.
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
26 Jan 07
suppose ur daughter is 11 yr old and she wants a ciggratte to smoke then u ll let her smoke or try to stop her from doing that..i mean to say she is under blind love..its ur duty to stop her from doing that..be harsh whatever but dont let her go and die in wrong hands
@pooksywooksy (1006)
• Indonesia
26 Jan 07
As a mom, I would advice her over and over and try to convince her that he is not good enough for her.
I definetely would pray hard for her and hoping for a miracle, of course!
Either, my daughter changes her mind or I changes my mind.
If I think she is big enough to make her own decision, I will say to her, whatever she decides I will support her through.
But I will tell her, that I wouldn't lie or pretend about my disapproval of her marriage.
And indeed I will always support her; after all she's always be my baby.
@mathurvarun (980)
• India
26 Jan 07
Suppose u decide to go wid her decision but soon the marriage gets over..then wont u realize u should have stop her before marriage
@annepretty (584)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
of couse a parent wouldnt allow her children to be unhappy.but as an adult,all i could give her is reasonable advices.if she changes her mind,then good..if not then let her decide..and if one day she will find our on her own that he is not the right man for her.i would take her back in my arms and tell her that i will always be here for her,wrong or right decisions she makes.
@mikekire (146)
• Nigeria
5 Feb 07
It all depends on your reason for not allowing them marry. Is your reasons based on facts or on things you just imagined? They could end up making a happy home while you are seeing it the other way round. If you have good reasons why she should not marry her choice, why not talk it over with her. Dont't let her see it that you are against her, but make her realise the fact that you want the best for her.You really have to be careful in handling this matter because it could make her act in a way you least expected.If you believe in God, pray.
@imtiyaz1 (146)
• India
23 Feb 07
my wife had married me against her parents wishes she is a hindu and i m a muslim her parents thought that our marriage was a total misfit but she was adamant and went ahead with the marriage 2day our parents have agreed after seeing how we both have worked towards our marriage we should build confidence in our children to handle things and let them take decisions
@anyutza (138)
• Romania
24 Jan 07
I think marriage implies two people who love each other and want to make a life together.If the future husband of my daughter ,in my opinion,isn`t suitable for her I try for begining to find up more about him before i blame him without reason then i would prevent my daughter and if she wants to marry instead with him I will accept her decision and suport her as much as I can
