Is forgiveness sometimes imossible?

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I believe that we avoid Forgiveness because we have the mistaken idea that forgiveness means we condone or agree with the actions of others! This simply isn't true! Forgiveness does not mean letting others abuse you. If a person who has wronged you in the past has the capability to hurt you again, you have every right to protect yourself. Forgiveness does not require that you extend trust. This kind of forgiveness is not dependent on the other person changing, so the only safe assumption for you is that this person has not changed. Those who have studied it can tell you without qualification that forgiveness is a sign of strength. Not only is it a very human quality, displays of forgiveness and reconciliation are common among monkeys, apes and other primates, and suggest this behavior has been around for over thirty million years. And research conducted at the University of Wisconsin in 1997 indicates forgiveness can be taught and with positive results. Forgiveness is something that you do for yourself: --------It is letting go of any expectation that the other person will change. --------It is letting go of any expectation of apology, or of recognition and acknowledgement of wrong-doing. --------It is acknowledging to yourself that the other person acted in the only way that this person could act. Forgiving someone involves two parties - the injured and the perpetrator. 1) Circumstances may be such that the injury was an accident and the perpetrator is horrified and asking what they can do to make amends. In this case the path to forgiveness is already paved with possibilities, and the injured has but to specify what is required to make amends and the two parties will begin to heal each other. 2) Circumstances may be such that the injury was an accident but the perpetrator in denial. “Nothing happened, and even if it did -it wasn't their fault.” In this case forgiving the injury must take place on separate paths, with the injured coming to terms with the accident as just that - an accident. The perpetrator has already forgiven himself because to them there was nothing to forgive. 3) Circumstances may also be such that the injury was deliberate, but was a result of a disagreement, a fight, and fault lies all around. One was pushed beyond his limits and lashed out. One was steadily tortured until a dark mood overtook him. In these cases forgiveness usually progresses rapidly, as both parties are clearly cognizant of the underlying currents and the shared responsibility for what has happened. Tears, hugs, and a resolve to be more careful in the future. 4) Forgiveness is most difficult where the injury is deliberate and no fault lies with the injured - a true victim, an innocent. And thus the perpetrator has savaged the injured for sport, for a power trip, or to simply gratify themselves at the expense of another. In these cases forgiveness seems inappropriate, and this is not the issue. Forgiving someone even though they don’t ask for it or accept responsibility is very important. Otherwise we hold resentment towards that person or circumstance.