Marriage and your family

I think often fathers have a little bit more of a problem when it comes to their little girl getting married. SOme even will go into a stage of denial, thinking that maybe it won't happen or just pretending that maybe it's not for real. I don't know what will happen when my daughter gets married but I think my husband will be somehow in denial too. WE tend to say that our kids will always be our babies in our minds, but I can see that in him so much more LOL So in the end, maybe this reactions from your dad - that is puzzling you - is just a reaction over the news that is baby is all grown up and ready to start a family of her own.

I don't know how common it is, however, I congratulate you. If thats the path you choose then I wish you well. Your dad may not want to lose his little girl, maybe thats why. Personally though, were I your parent, I'd be telling the world and celebrating. I'd want to be a big part of the planning process and plan to be with my son. I think its very wrong to make fun of you for your plans and were I in your place I would state to them how I feel and that its inappropriate. My mom never pressured us to get married, but was over joyed when we did. Basically, she wants us to find our own paths, choose our own happiness, whatever form that comes in. Whatever decisions we make she will accept. I am the free spirit of the family and spend many years traveling and working at various places - sometimes the same company in different states/towns. I also did a lot of caretaking. Houses and such. My sister and brother, on the other hand, were more traditional. My sister never married, and may never marry, but my brother married his childhood sweetheart and worked his way up his company until he was traveling internationally and making six figures. He's now starting his own company on the side. He lives in Ohio as he has for many years and plans to stay. My sister too, has lived in CA for a long time and plans to stay and owns her own business helping non-profits. I'm the free spirit - as I've said, I plan to become a reverend of sorts, and married and such - but only because I was asked spontaneously. I've been asked before by others. Yet married or unmarried my mom has always supported us, and celebrated whatever we chose. I think that's what a parent and family members should do. Accept you the way you are, supporting and celebrating your decisions and pathways. To me, teasing someone and not celebrating great life transitions is wrong. But that's just my opinion.

Do they know your opinions on having kids?maybe they don't see it as that huge a step if that isn't involved in it, or maybe they don't take it as seriously.Do they not like you fiance maybe?

I have to ask, were you all a close family before? I don't understand the non reaction.If I were to get married, my family would be happy for me, even if they didn't like my finacee.My mom didn't like weddings so I don't think she would have help plan , but if I were happy, she would be happy for me.I hope you have a lot of friends that are excited for you. I am.Happy Marriage.

I think its retarded. You seem to have too many people in your life with poor judgement and interest in you. I think its wonderful and you deserve to bask in the glory of getting engaged and planning a wedding.

it is so sad.your suffering reminds me of justine henin,who is a great tennis player. i think your family dont like ur fiance.do u like your family ?do you have a meeting with them to know the reason why they dont be happy with your marriage? well, anyway,you should compound with your family.the family is as important as marriage ,i think. i hope you will have happiness in your marriage .good luck!

Well your dad dont want to loose you how old is your sis anyway when it come close to the day you see how the react like christmas eve and the curtains and food have been prepared yet...

I can't blame them for not having any interest. You need to learn how to treat others with respect before marrying anyone. "How common is this?" Its not, get a clue girl.

Does your family not like your fiance? This is not common by any means and it is very unfair of them not to become involved in your excitement. Marriage is a big commitment and a huge stepping stone in ones life. You need your families support and assurance. This is very unfair and I suggest you call a family meating to discuss with each of them how they are making you feel and what you expect from them. Ask them why they are treating your engagement announcement as if you told them you bought a new pair of shoes. Some times it is best to point out behavior for them to realize what they are doing and how it is making you feel. By the way congratulations! I wish you and your fiance the best in life.

That's sad. Families Should join in weddings in the true spirit of celebration. Maybe they don't like your fiancee or think that you're making a mistake? Anyway don't let them ruin your day for you. Focus on the love that you share and enjoy yourself. Congrats and hope you have a wonderful life together!

Your younger sister teasing you about it doesn't seem so terrible (I'm assuming she's pretty young since I believe you are in your early 20s, right?). But the adults should be happy for you & helping you plan and celebrate. As anti-marriage as I am for myself, I was overjoyed when my son announced his plans to marry his partner. I'd have been just as overjoyed if they announced they were moving in together, joining the peace corps together or whatever, it doesn't have to be marriage for me to be happy for them- but obviously for them marriage is what they feel is best. Parents should support any positive thing that makes their child happy. FWIW, my mother has the most horrible taste in partners and has consistantly liked the horrible people I dated & not liked the great ones. So I now take it as proof of a good choice if she's not happy about it. Maybe the same will prove true in your family. Your wedding & marriage will be wonderful, they're just not wise enough to realize it.

In our country the parents are very concerned about their children's getting married ever since their making girlfriends or boyfriends. Parents always wish their children to have the right person for marriage. Everyone around will be made to know their children's getting married or engagement. It is something great in their life and worth paying attention to. It was the same with my marriage.

The behavior of parents in this regard varies from culture to culture and situation to situation. I Asian countries mostly, parents are very much involved, even if the marriage is not engage marriage. The indifferent attitude of your parents, particularly father is strange. Have you tried taking them on board. I mean get them involved in your plans seeking their suggestions or may be taking your parents and sister on shopping followed by a dinner. I am not very well aware of the culture you are dwelling in, but I believe this might help.

I understand that completely. When I became engaged, it wasn't a huge issue for my family. Sometimes in life, things are not all about you. People need to lean that. I'm sure when you get married (if you make it there considering your future plans in another discussion) your family will be there and you will get well wishings. For some people, it's really hard for all attention not to be focused on them. Sometimes, they do or say things just to get a rise or reaction from other people. Perhaps they did not have enough attention from their parents growing up that they need and crave the attention and will say or do anything to get it, and then go into a complete depression when their antics were not met with the proper attention. At least your mother is helping you plan, which means that she does care. People show excitement in different ways. Perhaps your family feels you may not follow through? Your sister is probably jealous. My father is the same as yours, he won't bring it up because it is an embarrassing subject to him.

My sister experienced this same reaction with the announcement of her being pregnant. The Grandparents to be wouldn't discuss it or never asked how she was feeling. My nephew is now 18 months old and his Aunt on his Dads side never asks how he is or anything. It is the only Grandchild and it is abnormal behavior.

hmmmm my family takes interest in al my activities badly!! and to talk about marrige it is some thing that cannot be done without the consent of my family show ur family that u are important for them!!! with them show extra ordinary love and affection!!! that will pay

well lex honey it depends family to family.....country to country and special mind of thinking counts alot.....there may be several reason of their quietness....may be they donot like ur fiance....they donot like the way u behave to them....the way u live ur life...may be they expect somthing more u r offering to them..... But when i try to talk about my country here no only 2 hearts be together but 2 families....here counts every thing....even behaviour of single person too....anyways...God Bless U

My family wasn't that excited when I told them I was getting married. They were more excited over planning when I was going to have a baby. Then when they found out we didn't plan on kids, well....they didn't help out too much with planning the wedding. My husband asked me to marry him at Christmas and his family didn't even look at the ring, they just said "It's about time you stopped living in sin" and then we had dinner. My mother's first response was "Are you pregnant?" I don't think that your family's reaction is normal. Neither was my family's reaction. Now, for my sister, there were parties and a huge showers and lots of plans. I got more reaction from my co-workers than my family. I think it is awful for your families to be doing this to you and your fellow. This should be the happiest time in your life. Just hang to the love you and your fellow have for each other and make the best of it for the two of you. I hope things turn out good for you. You deserve to have happiness in your life. Those people may be your family but you owe them nothing. You marry your young man and you two have the best life you can make possible with each other. You don't need those others in your life who are only going to bring you down and make you feel bad. Dump them. If you have a cancer you cut it out, well sometimes people are like cancer in our lives.