why the oppositte

You have a really good question there. But I can understand all of your examples pretty well. It is just in human nature to get frustrated at someone telling us to calm down. And someone wouldn't be telling us to calm down (more than likely) if we weren't already starting to get upset, anyway. I actually think taht one of the worst things you can do when someone is getting mad is to tell them to calm down. That really is a frustrating thing to hear when you're angry! *laugH* And it is so, so hard not to look down when you're told not to. Human nature is to be curious, I guess ^_^