Bigoted in-laws

Ooh this is a difficult one you've posed here! My in-laws don't live in the UK so I don't have to face this issue YEYYY! But my husband has to make the effort to get along with my parents - which is easy enough where my mum is concerned because she's really chilled out but my dad can be quite difficult as he's a bit of a know-it-all, it doesn't phase me because I'm about the only one that can shut him up when he gets carried away even more than my mum can but my husband is very much into respecting the in-laws so he often has to bite his tongue when dad says stuff that he disagrees with. I've told hubby the best way to get around dad when he gets annoying is to totally change the subject, dad might be giving him unwanted financial advice and he'll nod and said "hmmm" for a few moments before saying something like "did you hear what such and such a footballer did in the game the other night?" This is a surefire way to get dad completely off track as he can talk about footie till the cows come home and it's a easy way to divert his attention from subjects hubby doesn't want to discuss with him. There are some things that I would say to mum to have a quiet word to dad about when we're not there and having been married for 40 years she's quite good at getting him to stop bringing up topics generally that we're not prepared to discuss. I don't know if my scenario above helps any. If I were in your situation I might consider saying something jokey like "Oh do we really have to talk about this? It's about as much fun as being poked in the eye with a biscuit/rice crispy/toothbrush..." then laugh at my own joke and swiftly change the subject... I don't think it's the best idea to let him carry on this way as it will just build up resentment over time for you and your partner by keeping quiet and get to a stage where you don't even want to visit them anymore nor have them over to yours...

I understand the problem. Although my present mother in law is not racist, by goodness she has opinions and makes my life a total misery when she comes. I would suggest you cool it, just let them visit and ignore the way that they are because you will not change them. Unfortunately people that are like this are closed minded and do not change, and all you do by getting upset is cause stress for yourself and all around you. Accept people are different, and be very glad when they have gone.

I am blessed with an incredibly thick skin. Or, an utter disregard for safety. or a glutton for pain o dont know. I would simply challenge him there an then, or try and educate him. All racists and their arguments are flawed and based on narrow, stereotypical images. For instance. Ethnic groups steal white people's jobs. Actually, what ethnic groups do is take thr jobs that whhite dont want, such as menial, uskilled labour. Either try and reason with him, or failing that, tell him that your unhappy with his poison and then he is no longer welcome until he can moderate his views.