Large Public Restrooms-Are worried if you child goes in there alone?
By mzbubblie
@mzbubblie (3839)
United States
January 23, 2007 8:18am CST
I thought this would be a good topic being I have taken my son to games, or concerts, or somewhere where it's very very crowded. When my son was younger, I would take my son in the women restrooms to use. I have heard some real sickenen stories of people that have let their kids go into the men's restroom and when they take too long, One story a lady said her sone was 7 years old, he went into the restroom alone, she goes on to say how long it was taking him. She said he went in there and some man had her son in a stall with his pants down.The man told the kid not to scream or yell or he would kill his parents... The predator got away because of was one of the restrooms where you can get out both sides. Stories like that and just knowing how easily you can become attached from your child in such crowded areas. I can say, I for one took my son in the ladies restroom, sometimes today him being 11, I still worry about him today when we are out in such areas...Parents, do you find taking your children in the bathroom you go into, being that your child is the opposite s*x? In your opinion, how old do you feel a child is to old to be going into the opposite s*x restroom? For all others, how do you feel about kids going into the restroom and not the same s*x? What are your thoughts, please feel free to share...
12 people like this
45 responses
@jbones32103 (717)
• United States
23 Jan 07
You never can be too careful being a mother. I would take mine with me until I felt safe. If anyone said anything, I would explain I'm protecting my child. Usually when they are teenagers, they know by then how to handle things like that. When they are young, they can't being not mature enough to understand. My oldest is 8 and sometimes he'll use the men's bathroom at Walmart by himself. That's only because he knows to scream if I'm needed. It really all depends on the area.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
You are so right, I can never be too protective of my child. I use to get the eye, but if they never questioned I never answered, I did what was right for me and my child....Yes, it does depend on the area. Like you, If it's a department store I would let him go in by himself depending on the age..thank you for responding...
2 people like this
@jbones32103 (717)
• United States
24 Jan 07
You are so welcome. I love my children so much that there is nothing I wouldn't do to protect them.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
So very true. It's hard and the more we see on the media about things happening to kids, the more protective we are about our own....thank you for responding...
2 people like this
@micheller (1365)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I don't see anything wrong with taking your child into the women's restroom to make sure he is safe. As long as he is a child, he isn't hurting anything. These day's you have to be overprotective because of all of those sickoes out there!
2 people like this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
that is so very true. I always have my eyes open to anything suspect
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
23 Jan 07
It is such a shame that we have to even deal with a problem such as this, but the truth is there are predators. I dealt with a 7 yr old male when I worked at a children's psych facility who had been raped in a fast food restroom. I had three boys and a girl of my own. I took the boys to the ladies restroom until they were quite old (and actually embarrassed at times) because they still would have been helpless to a larger male. In my opinion, there is really nothing that they can see in a ladies room , there are separate stalls! I did try to wait until the ladies room was fairly devoid of women, if my son could wait. If not,in we went! Never did I have a lady complain. I also took my children with me into dressing rooms so that they were not left alone in the main portion of the store. If my boys needed to try on clothing, they went to the ladies part of the store so that I could go in with them! One just can't be too careful. Even if the child screams or blows a whistle or some other 'form of protection' the larger person has a split second to harm them before running.
2 people like this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Such a sad story, and hopes he's better. but as sad as it sounds, that's just a wake up call to us parents to be careful, to be overprotective, to make sure you have good communication with our children...Because you never know...thank you for responding...
1 person likes this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Im the same way and wonder how come their parent is not around...I probably be the same way with my son when he is your oldest age...You can never be tooo careful...
1 person likes this
@earthsong (589)
• United States
23 Jan 07
My oldest kids are 9, 13 and 15 and I still wait outside the bathroom door for them in public places. I definitely go in with my youngest, who is 6. Of course, I am a paranoid mom and don't let them go to the toy isle without me, as well. It drives me insane to see little kids running around the store unattended.
1 person likes this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
23 Jan 07
We have always been very vigilant with my son regarding public bathrooms. Until he was around 8, I took him in the ladies room with me. I would just check to be sure there were no other ladies in there first. After that, he would go in the men's room alone, but only after coming right back out to tell me that it was empty.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Exactly...That's what make me wonder how could some parents let their kid go in restrooms alone at 4 or 5, yes, Even today I have seen it, I just shake my head....thank you for responding...
2 people like this
@lifeiseasy (2292)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I have all girls so I have not had a problem there,but my grandson is 8 and I have him quite often and I make him go in the girls restroom with me yet. I never really thought about an age of when they shoudln't go into the opposite sexes restrooms. I guess I had better, he is getting to that age. I guess it will depend on the parent and where exactly the restroom is. Like for instanse at a reststop on the interstate you can bet he will go in with me, but maybe like Home Depot or Walmart I would feel safer letting him go in alone. This is terrible now that I really think about this. Living in fear for your child to just be able to use a public restroom...
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Yes I agree it is...Having a son, I have found myself being very protective of him, Yes, i agree the reststops even at 11years old, I would have him go in the women restroom. It's sad and the sick people out there that do this makes it so hard for parents like us to let our children have some kind of independency....
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
24 Jan 07
I never let my Child go to a restroom on their own and specially not in large Public Areas
I think mine where 8 or 9 before I let them go on their own but even then I still went with my Daughter and stood outside the Mens if my Son went
I think my Daughter was in her teens when I stopped going with her all together lol and my son asked me not to stand outside the Toilet anymore when he was 12
@arvee17 (730)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
my son is just 2 so it is not yet a problem for me... but when the time comes that he is old enough... i would always ask my husband to bring him to the male restroom to make me feel safe... i agree with you, this days, we don't know if our son could be safe in a public restroom. so we really need to be extra careful when we go outside...
1 person likes this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Yes you have to, but let me ask you this, what if your son is a older and your husband is not with you? You would do as I would take him in the women restroom?
1 person likes this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
24 Jan 07
My son is 8 with Autism and I used to take him into bathroom with me (being female). He was just a little guy at the time and I would get some strange looks but I didn't care. I couldn't go into the men's with him and he needed help in going to bathroom at the time.
Now that he is 8 and more mature I have to let him go into the men's by himself. I'm so scared. I stand right at the door and listen; people stare at me. If I think it's been too long I'll holler in to him to tell him to hurry up.
Even at Walmart it scares me. I know if I heard anything strange I would run right in there; damn everyone else.
At airport I had to let him go in and saw all kinds of guys go in and out after he went in. Boy, that scared me so bad I yelled in at him to come out and security came after me about it. (A bad word) them! He's my child.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
1 Feb 07
OHHHH i know what you mean...I would do the same thing..As a parent we go with our gut feelings and we will protect out children before anything...that was cute (a bad word) them...hehehehe
@Calais (10893)
• Australia
24 Jan 07
I would never let my child go to a rest room alone, I dont know what age I would stop it. there are too many sickos out there. I truley would not be offended if a lady brang her kids to the restroom, if anything i would say to myself that she is a caring mother.
1 person likes this
@renascent (35)
• Canada
23 Jan 07
My son is 7 and I always go with him. Unless it's a restaurant that we frequent and the staff know him well then he goes in the ladies room alone and I can see the door but otherwise I go with him. I don't know at what age I will feel comfortable letting him go in the men's room alone. 10 maybe? I don't know yet. Most of the time he doesn't like going in them anyway unless I tell him to go wash his hands before eating.
1 person likes this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Yes, sometimes you have to go with your gut feeling. That's what I did...
@ControlledChaos (179)
• United States
24 Jan 07
That's a really good topic. I'm not sure what I would do either. I do know that if I had to let a kid go in alone, I wouldn't do it if there were more than one entrance/exit. I'd stand right there at the door and watch everyone that came out. I'd also make sure that the kid understood that there would be no good reason for anyone in there to bother him/her and that they should scream and fight and draw attention if anything did happen.
1 person likes this
@dirtpoorboy (156)
• United States
24 Jan 07
what is wrong with people though seriously? i would flat out castrate someone if they ever did anything like that to my child. you have every right to take your child in the ladies room if you feel it is needed. like if you lived in new york,new york...then yeah i would keep an eye on him for sure.
1 person likes this
@babydolphin (536)
• Australia
24 Jan 07
What Ive known other mother to do is that if the kid is boy and in that age where he doesnt want to go to the ladies restroom anymore.. I will get someone I trust maybe his dad or his cousin or his older brother or someone.. to go with him to the toilet and make sure he is safe. Also, I will drill it into my kid head that doesnt matter what the perp said.. if someone is doing something that you feel uncomfortable with.. or is doing something that he feels wrong.. then he should scream out loud .. no matter what the perp said.
I think my younger brother start going to restroom alone is when he is around 8 something? even then i remember my mom wait in front of the men restroom and im sure she was ready to barge in there should she feels my brother taking too long or not answering or something..
@missinghim (1339)
• United States
3 Feb 07
My son is 10 now, and i do let him go to the restroom by himself, but i do stand right at the door and listen out and time him. He has enough time to unzip, go and quickly wash his hands (he can dry when he comes out), and if he goes over that time, then i'll open the door and call him (one time he didn't answer right away and i sure did go in there to get him).
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I know what you mean...I would do the same thing. You can never be to careful, I firmly believe that...
@jeepstergirl (396)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I agree with you. In large, croweded public restrooms, you never know who is in there, lurking to do something terrible. The really amazing thing is that in our society today, people ignor it when someone is being hurt! Have you ever heard the old saying that you never cry "RAPE!" because people won't help. You should yell "FIRE" instead and people will come running. Same thing in this situation. If someone is taken into a stall, who is going to stop them, really? It's too unpredictable these days.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Yes it is...And that's with anybody..women can't run in the evenings or early morning either...It's just all bad around, you never know anymore...
@superbren (856)
•
24 Jan 07
after reading this i am going to be very careful about letting my son go alone. we live in a small community and the main place he would use the toilet is the local hotel. i let him go alone and if he is longer than 4 minutess i send my husband after him . this is a very scary discussion and a very valid one . i think women everywhere should read it and be more careful . i wont take my son swimming which is hard for him as his father works long hours and often has not got time . the reason i dont is because i wont let him use the mens changing rooms alone, sometimes i will bring him if he promises to change in the ladies in a cubicle. i would not be happy for him to showeer and change alone in the mens area. i also would not bring a friend with him as i wouldnt be able to look after them properly either if they changed in the mens area.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Yes, you can never be too careful..There are some sickos out there...thank you for responding
@popof4 (9)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I have 4 children (3 of my own-a girl and 2 boys, and a step daughter). When my boys were little (my youngest is only 8) They went into public restrooms with me, until they started recognizing it as the girls (around 5 years old), that's when I started standing right outside the men's restroom, I feel a little bit more secure knowing that every man going in knows I'm standing there, and every couple of minutes I would call in there saying are you ok? hurry up, just to make any one know that I was listening for him. It still scares me, but sometimes they have to go. It's a shame that we have to worry though, but it's good that we do, I worry about the moms who aren't careful about it.
1 person likes this
@quispy (572)
• United States
23 Jan 07
It's a crazy world we live in unfortunately. My oldest is a non-issue as he is 14. My other two are 7 and 8 and absolutely REFUSE to go into the ladies bathroom. So I have them go in together and if it is empty they come out and tell me, then they can go back in. I wait right outside. We were at the park one day and they were in the men's room and up walked a "motorcycle dude". You guessed it, he wanted to use the men's room. There I am, asking him to just wait another minute until my youngsters come out. He was great about it, even yelled through the door "wash your hands!" You just never know.
