Single Parents!!

I am not a single mom but have often wondered what it would be like if I had to raise my kids on my own . I don't think you should blame yourself for the absense of their father , they know you love them at that is more important then if you were still with the father and he was a bad dad . We tend to blame ourselves when everything is what is considered the norm . You should tell the father's mom to butt out , it is none of her buisness what you do . And you know you are a good mom and I think anyone who has done this on their own deserves a lot of respect because it can be very difficult raising children with two partent and yet you have been doing it for six years on your own . Give yourself a pat on the back and try not to put down on yourself . You probably gave them a better life then they would have had if you had been with the father . I am almost sure that you didn't do anything wrong to make their father leave , that was his choice entirely and it is him that is missing out not you .

I'm a single mom... and i dont' think things can get any better than what they already are. When my daughter was 2 years old and my son was 2 months old, my husband (at the time), walked out and left us. We were renting a place from his mom, and she kicked me and the kids out a week after he left us. Come to find out she was covering up the fact that he was seeing someone else. And he must of been cheating for awhile, because he moved in with her... about two weeks later. Yes, being a single parent is hard, no matter how you put it. But if the guy did something really stupid then don't blame yourself. Maybe it was truelly for the best, for both you and your kids. I use to blame myself when my husband left me and was cheating. I thought i wasn't good enough, and wasn't pretty enough for him. That was until i saw who he left me for. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and thank i look pretty good to have two children (by c-seation). when i looked at his new toy (his girlfriend). she was short, and a big fat@ss. She had a really bad attitude, and she would yell at him infront of his employees at work. Everytime they got into a fight he would call me... i'm like "dude, you made your bed, now lye in it. and leave me alone." we've been seperated for 3 years now. and during this time, i have realized that it's NOT MY FAULT that my childrens father is stupid. He lost everything, and he will never get it back. And it's for the best, for me and my kids.

What is written in the faith you cannot help it you have to go along with with it and you cannot blame yourself what,s happenning you can just go with the life and its people work to interfere in everybody,s life so dont bother about it.

Any woman bringing up kids alone has my total respect. Obviously I don't know the full story of your life - but please don't blame yourself that your ex is in jail -no one drives a grown man to criminal activity - he has a brain and he can make up his own mind on things - so whatever he did it was not your fault. Of course, it will hurt your kids when they first find out their dad is in jail, but you soundlike the kind of kind and respectful woman who had bought your kids up well, so I'm sure they will understand when you sit them down and tell them face to face. Just make sure they know that you love them. As for your ex mother-in-law.....well she has no right to interfere - they are your kids not hers, and her son has not exactly done right by his wife and children has he? I would tell her not to interfere and take my chance of happiness with your fiance who sounds like a great guy. Good luck.

I completely understand the situation that you are in. I was in the same situation, but I decided that you can't change everything and feeling like you did something wrong only makes it harder for you. I was with a guy for a couple of months, not in love or anything. We went our separate ways and I then found out I was pregnant. He was being so supportive in the beginning of the pregancy, and ended up in jail when I was 6 months along. He promised that when he got out that he would be there and even though he was away he would still do whatever he could to help. Needless to say that didn't happen. He got out 1 month before my sons 2nd birthday. He hardly ever came to see him, never bought much for him. Then he ended back in prison 2 months before my sons 3rd birthday. I have decided that I can no longer allow him to be a part of my sons life because he needs stability. I can't let him come and go as he pleases. I won't let it get me down though. I have always done it by myself and I always will. Though I am with someone else who completely accepts him I know that it will never replace having a real father, but he has a real mother. That's all he needs.

I am a single mom for almost 6yrs now..I was never married with the father which was my choice..at first it was hard,but my mom was there to support me..but this past 3yrs have been hard because Ive missed 3 birthdays of my only daughter bec I had to work abroad..sometimes i feel sad that i have to leave her with my sis but i dont have a choie..her father doesnt give support and i will never ask him for that.. You shouldnt blame yourself that ur children have no father,things happen for a reason.. a guys parents or any parent who has a child that fell in love with a single parent will always be concerned but u have to prove to them that u are worth it..

Single parenting is tough and you have discovered that. Since you have learned through your mistake and have now wonderful children you need not blame yourself now. What done is done. The fact that the father is in jail should not be kept from them. They should know where he is and that he is paying for his mistake. They will learn that is what happens for wrong doings that way.Try to meet the mother and have a coffee shop to meet in and talk about your positions. If you keep even you may learn that she has her own problems or that this conversation will smooth the waters. At least you will have tried. She may be a factor in the future so before you commit to anything you might take a step back and see if you can deal with the strife for the foreseeen future. I wish you all the luck with this. I am sure you will do fine!!

i feel responsable sometimes but it is very hard and i dint know what to say to them when they get older and all imeand i wasnt going to take care of 3 kids he need to wake up and get a job and help with bills and he put alot more stress on me that i did not need youknow and it hurt and we were always fighting and all and i did not need that and all so i do feel bad but i think everyone does buti know i gave chance after chance for help and i could nt bring myself down where i could nto take care of my kids they come first i know he helped create but that meansds you nedd to help and al laso

NO i dont agree with that chidrens should have single parents . every child have both the parents.

ya being pregnant in the youth is very bad....i can't even imagine about tht.

hey u every body has a past.but its kinda foolish thing to think abt it again n again.ur a long lady.have 2 kids.u have got a long way.so move up in life.find someone who could accept u as well as kids regarding ur present fiancee,i wont suggest u to move on with him.he may leave you in future if his family interfares. ultimately u have to take the decision.so be patient and take a wise decision.

i think that people suffer a lot but if it is a fate their is no way to escape from the fate ...so the parent shold take care of the child ...

Most of the single parents I know are people to be greatly admired. Its not an easy thing to do, parenting with two parents is difficult enough, but to do it alone and survive is amazing. You really can't blame yourself for choices made and time past, go beyond it and do the very best you can to be a good and loving parent and your kids will realize it.

i believe that single parenting just isnt good to kids because if the kid is a boy with a mother he wont have a male role model to look up to and if its a girl with a father then the girl wont learn the skills of being lady-like. i say try to stay together and have a happy family.

single parenting is a so strange thing in a human life. For this situation you have to love your children and make a good future life for them.

do not blame yourself for being a single parent. it was not your fault and it never will be. my mom raised us alone too and my dad left us when i was still young. my mom did great as a single parent.

I am not a single parent, still single but based on your posts, I see you have a problem with dealing with your kids in accepting your fiance because they are blaming you for what happened. Maybe it's because they are too young to understand the whole situation. I think your fiance should spend more time with the kids.

Hi michele. I would like to salute you for being brave and strong in raising your twins. As for your problem, stop blaming yourself for all the bad things that happen in your life. Hey, everything happens for a reason, so dont shoulder all the faults. Dont be too worried for your children not to understand their situation of not having their real father, the love you showers them is enough for them to have a better judgment in what happen. Its good to hear that you have someone to share your life with "again". I he truly loves your twins, then his a keeper. Dont stress out yourself with your mother-in-law, maybe she's too frustrated to what had happen to his son.

your mom's exbf have also the right to interfere but with some limitations...just keep on loving your kids and all the blessing will pour unto you...

im not a parent but somehow i feel ur pain..its natural sometimes to blame our self from unwanted situation but as you said you love ur children verymuch..i belive that your children are not hinderance to your happiness,either their father..you have to realize that you are not the only person in that situation..my mom is also a single parent but whats important is she is giving us unconditional love..