At what age is good to tell your child, that his father is not his real father

I found out when I was 12 and somehow i think it was better that way. I was young enough that it didn't shatter my world and old enough to understand and deal with it.

why tell the child . if the man you are with is a good parent to your child . let it be ;; you will no when the time is right if you tell anyway

there is no proper age for that

I think that the elder your child is when it will learn it the better it will be. But as you said the most important is to learn it from you and not from somebody else. So you are the only one who knows when it is the right time to reveal your secret.

Well I think you must be honest with the child up front. I am not saying that you must try and get some sense into a one year old child. But you must tell the child about his real parents sonner rather than later. If the child finds out very late in his life say his late teens, then it would be really hard for the child. he would have a feeling that his whole life was a lie and every one has cheated him. If u tell the child in at a very young age the child may feel really sad but he will get over it very soon. So i believe its best to tell the child about his parents as early as possible in order to avoid unnecessary problems in the future

i think just near when he is b/w 13 and 14

When he is old enough to understand...this is the man who raised you...he is your father..but he is not man that fathered you...a father raises a child...but some children have birth fathers who are not raising them...the rest of that answer comes from your own situation....

u r right u shd tell her abt it bt she is 18 or 20 she ll b able to understand

Well, how old is he? He should be old enough to be able to accept and cope with it, but not too old to hear it and have a million questions for you. The older they are, the harder it is for them to accept the news and understand.

I think you are the one who should take the initiative to tell him the truth. when your baby becomes understandable that what actually biological father is at that time you should tell him the truth.

Do not refer to him as 'father' to your child as if he is the childs true father. If this is done from the very begining there will be no trauma later when they find out it has all been a lie. The child can know that he is not their real dad from the begining but can call him dad if they choose, this is probably the easiest way to go and it empowers the child - he/she can decide if they want to call him 'dad'. Never hide from your children who their true mother or father is and you won't need to be forgiven later.

I think it would depend on your child. For instance, a "typical" 10 year-old may be too immature for the truth. You know your child the best; I would say (typically) maturity for these kinds of issues and understanding normally develop around the age of 10. Again, your son may be emotionally mature before then or just after.

I think telling them when they are younger like 3-5 would be good because they will grow up knowing it and it will not be a suprise to them when they get older.

u need some child supprot. take him to maury damn u sure as hell screwed up from the start

my mom told me that the man who raised me, the man I call daddy wasn't my daddy when I was 11..I think I was more mad that day I didn't get to go fishing with him that day then her telling me that he wasn't my father..it does hurt and some times I wish she didn't tell me but she wanted to tell me herself and not someone else and me end up hurting even more..I don't think your son will care that the man that is raising him isn't his father cuz he love him..there will never be a day or a good time to tell him that he isn't his father your just going to have to sit him down one day and tell him..trust me he will understand and he will be fine..just make sure that he knows that he is loved by the both of you and that nothing is going to change..good luck in whatever you may do

i think as a mom you will know when your child is mature enough to understand

This is just my opinion, but I would think it would be best for him to know before he starts kindergarten. You know, if other people in your neighborhood know, somehow this stuff always leaks out, unfortunately. Some people leak it because they are mean, or somebody may leak it purely by accident. (Yes, I know it's terrible, but some people do gossip.) Could you imagine how crushed he would be if he came home from kindergarten one day and said 'Mom, Johnny said that (insert stepDad's name) isn't my real father, that_________is.' Imagine the confusion he'd have in his mind all day long before he ever got home to talk this over with you. Your little son trusts you, keeping the information away from him, and him possibly finding out from others, could possibly damage that trust. When you do tell him, be sure and tell him that his step father loves him just as much as if he was his own.

Whenever you think he is mature enough to handle it. Only you know when that is.

well, i was nine years old when i found out that my "father" wasn't my real father, so, i dont know what to tell you except that i was devestated, so take it easy on him, and might i say your kid is quite the cutie!

when he is old enough to understand it.