military spouse

I have been an Army Wife for a little over three years. My husband deployed four days after we got married and it was very difficult to cope with. I tell all the new military wives that you are strong, you will make it, and you will survive this deployment as well as probably many more. You take it slow...day by day. you will have your good days and you will have your bad days. nights will be worse, but you get a shirt of his spray it down with his cologne and you sleep with it. just being able to smell him helps out tremendously. have people that can help you through it and encourage you, not people that are gonna feed off your depression and keep you down. military wives are built strong...they have to be. if you need to talk i am here to listen. i am now going through our second deployment in a three year period. it's hard at times, but you will get through it. just love him, wait for him, and encourage him even when you feel you can't.

The hardest job in the military is that of the military spouse. Unless you've walked in our shoes, you won't understand. Staying busy while he's gone does wonders for your sanity! Education, employment, volunteering, traveling, these are all good ways to "pass the time". Take it a day at a time, you'll be amazed how much faster time goes by when you stay busy as opposed to lying on the couch watching CNN. Think of it this way, you have an entire year to do what YOU need to do.... whether it be redecorating the house or losing weight, set goals and in no time, he'll be home and so proud of you for all you've accomplished.

yes the on;y advie I have is stay busy and get used to it. If they are not deployed then they are out doing training excersies etc. It sucks but in the end it is worth it

A big part of "surviving" military life is to have your own hobbies or pastimes too so when your hubby gets shipped out, you have things to turn back to. 5 weeks after our wedding my hubby was shipped out the Banda Aceh for 9 weeks, I was working full time and I love scrapbooking so between those 2 activities, it made the time go quicker. My hubby is going away again in March for 9 weeks and my daughter will keep me busy this time. Find out if you have support groups near you or ay other groups wiht Navy wives, they can be really helpful as civilian families try to understand but I don't think anybody understands how hard this is til they are in the situation, so other wives will be supportive. One thing I remember is what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. No matter how hard it is when they go, homecoming is always worth it.

One of the best suggestions is to get in touch with other military wives, whose husbands are on the same mission as your husband. That support should really help you get through some tough and lonely times. One of the things I did was get together with some of the girls on weekends and go out to eat or just hang out at each other's houses, and we could talk about our husbands or raising out kids without our husbands home, or just anything. That really helped me. Also, when it gets to the point that you think you're gonna go out of your mind, just try to remember that it's not forever. One of these days, your husband will be home, and he'll be leaving his dirty socks on the floor and complaining about having to take out the garbage, etc., and you can deal it that better because you've been without him, and you know you'd rather pick up after him than him not be there at all. Plus, now's the time to take advantage of doing all the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't for one reason or another, like taking up a hobby or going back to school. Hope this helps, and if it gets really bad, I'll be glad to talk to you anytime!

you have to set up a support system, balance staying busy with trying to sleep...i agree with the others about finding other military wives/spouses, they know what you are going through, as well as those who may not be military anymore but once were

I'm not a military wife yet, but I'm engaged to an army guy. I guess I can't give much advice since I'm so new to things myself, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone! That sucks that he had to leave so soon after your wedding!! My fiance is getting ready to get deployed, and then our wedding will be when he gets back, but I'm so worried that his deployment will get extended and he won't be back in time for the wedding or something! I'm already starting to get frustrated with the whole military thing! I'm starting to worry that I might not make a good military wife :( Usually, if I can't talk to my fiance for a long time, I try to hang out with friends more and do stuff like mylot to pass the time. I hope things start getting better for you. Good luck!!