Why do we let what other people say about us, HURT us?

Well, in a lot of ways, it is easier said than done to allow the things we often hear people saying about us not bother us, or offend us in some way. Especially when it is someone of another race or color making a remark that could be considered racist. We should be allowed to say things and not be judged for it is right. Instead of them always having to depend themselves for everything and act like we are the ones at fault. In reality I cannot change who I am, and am proud of who I am and there is nothing no one can do to change this.

ive always wondered the same thing. there were days that id get up, get dressed, deodarant and then through ,my hair up, not caring what i looked like. days that i would wear my pjs out in public who cares. but then there are days that i will not leave the house if i do not shower, dress nicely and have my hair and makeup all fixed, sometimes even if there is a knock at the door ill run in the bathroom and start showering so my husband has to open the door. I wonder all the time what does it matter what i look like or am wearing? why do i care. some days i just do.

It used to bother me at one stage but not because of what they where saying but they where lies because no one knew anything about my Life as I keep much to myself they where saying things that weren't true It used to upset me but now I let it go over my Head I know it is not true and I am me and at the end of the Day I will not change for anyone I am happy the way I am and not guilty of judging People wrongfully and making up Stories about them

We never can control how others feel about us. We may be able to make it seem we are something we are not so that we will "fit in" but before long the truth will out. This is all about self esteam. And the really strange part about it is the less we care what others think the more likely they will like us. We then let our true self out for everyone to see. But when you have poor self esteem you can't see that. All you see is tht critical eye that you have of yourself refected back in everyone you meet. I would be very suprised if this applies to you. But I am a like long expert on it.

You are absolutely right. I know when I hear something that someone has said about me.. I get really sick & constantly wondering, "What did I do to them?" "Why did they say that about me?" & then my husband says, "Why do you care?" I guess it is bothersome because I really don't know what I did to deserve it & I don't understand why people need to put someone else down to make themselves feel better. But, I have also been on the other side saying something about someone else (which I have definately learned my lesson) especially since I have a family of my own now). But, in a way I am grateful for having to feel the way I do when someone does the same thing to me-- because, then I get a dose of what I did to the other person & it doesn't feel good. It has helped me in so many ways to experience this. But, now.. I've paid my dues & I really don't care anymore.. why? Because, your right.. we are all unique and have our own personalities and sense of style & we are just who we are & it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because we love who we are. I have these PINK sweats from the PINK line at Victoria Secret and I wear them out in public & my husband is like-- people are going to think your a freak-- & I'm like... BRING IT ON!!! As long as we can be comfortable in OUR OWN SKIN.. that's all that matters!

I agree with you. Sometimes i asked myself what did i do for them to say mean things to me. Why dont they mind their own business and fix their lives ist? but hey this is world. We cant please everyone. what matters is we do our thing that make us happy without hurting other people guilt- free ,unique individuals who happened to have a LIFE.