once a cheater... always a cheater???

Well if this is true (once a cheater always a cheater) then you need to leave. But it's not. Like anything in life, we have all made mistakes. I had a girlfriend in 1994 that I cheated on and I felt so terrible about it that I have never let it happen again. I would say 85% of men and women have cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before and alot never cheated again. Now with the marriage it's a more serious commitment. Cheating on a spouse is about as low as you can go and it is so hard to forgive. I am a little concerned in what the cards say for your relationship. There is something else that has not been addressed. Almost as if there was another affair. Did someone call you sometime last year or did you find a letter or email. Something to me doesn't make sense. Could you contact me to help me make sense of this? Thanks.

Been there and done everything to try and change a cheater,i wasnt successful though.LOL..I strongly believe that a cheater would always cheat until he/she finally meets his match,someone that he/she would fall in love and would make him change for the better..

It is really harder to forget than to forgive. If I were you, I would not accept him again because I know I could not forgive him and I certainly could not forget what he did. But since it is you who is in that situation and you chose to accept him again, you should really try hard to put what he did behind. Otherwise, you should have not accepted him again because it will only make matters worse. Instead of keeping your family together, your doubts will just tear you apart and hurt your kids more. Do not listen to everything that other people tell you. Not all people who give you pieces of advice want to help you. There are people who do not mean well. And besides, there is always a chance that a person will cheat, whether he/she did it before or not. So I think the best thing for you to do now is try to trust him again.

once there is betrayal,once the eyes see you differently,the relationship could be over.The person you thought they were you find they are not so who is it you are in love with?I think it's a good thing to try to make it work,I myself couldn't anymore because once my partner cheats,he will no longer be who I know,he will become someone I use to know and the trust is not there and may never be againwho wants to spend the rest of the relationship wondering if he's late if he's cheating?As far as I would be concerned it would be over.

Theres a risk in giving him another chance but make it sure this will be his first and last chance if he do it again then leave him. Just tell him what you want. I know its hard to get back the trust but for the sake of the kids you forgive him. But give him some limitations. And communication is really important.We can't tell if he will do that again but if he does,that his lost not yours.

Do what you think is best for both you and your husband, and for the kids. If you no longer trust him, think first a hundred times if you still want to be with him. If you can no longer bear the pain, I think it is best to live alone without him. Marriage without trust is like living in hell. You will continue to get hurt if you will not let go of things that burden you. People, especially relatives, will always tell you to "give a chance" just so the marriage could be saved. But it is you who is living in misery so they may not at all understand what you are going through. I am not saying that you should leave your husband. What I am driving at is "weigh things over." Can you still go on living with your husband like that? The decision is yours. You have a choice as to what kind of life to live.

I can't tell you what to do, except to trust your gut. I could never fogive unfaithfulness, you are a much bigger person than I am. If your gut tells you something is wrong, you need to trust your instincts. I appreciate that you want the best for your family, but staying with an unfaithful man isn't going to make your family stronger. You have to call the whole thing off if you can't get past this.

my friends husband cheated on her and she forgive him for the sake of their newly born child, she said she never thought that her husband would cheat on her until her instinct told her so. it's okay that you have forgiven him and gave him a second chance but always keep your eyes open for him because well never know if he'll do it again. my friend said to "ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCT". my boyfriend have never cheated on me and i hope he wont in the future because i've forgiven him for hurting me physicallyand emotionally but if he cheated on me even for the first time then he will never see me and his daughter ever again! and he knows that already and im not kidding! good luck and god bless!