who should slow down!!

Married Life is a give and take process and I learn a lot from mine for 12 years now, we too have our tough times but we ended up laughing most of the time and we do the talking in the room wihtout the presence of my son. When I'm in my anger mood he is calm and he listen and when I burst all the words I've said he then speak on a soft spoken manner, and if he is on the anger situation I stay calm and quite and analyze and weighted things if I'm the one to blame or I have to stand with my opinion. Our tongue is the sharpest part of our body it hurts without leaving a scar visible to the eyes but it makes our love one really hurt. Compose yourself when you are really angry and count 1 to 20 before you talk to eliminate unnecessary words. hope this can help.

Just wondering what kind of life you are showing your children?! You have brought this here to this site since somewhere you seem to know that something has to change. Well the only one you can really change is you! Perhaps you could try to begin to tone done the yelling. Might be hard since you have done this for awhile. I would bet in time if you finally became calm outwardly that the hubby might begin to slowly calm down too and seek out your counsel. Validate his anger when it is a worthwhile aggrevation. Find something to gift him with to tell him you care and allow him his caveman time. A drink, the paper, his slipppers LOL.. whatever would allow for connection. Perhaps when he got this validation and then down time he could emerge as the hubby you fell in love with? Just some thought and hoping that something in this gives you hope that you could turn this around and the whole family might be happy!! Good luck my friend!!