My ex-girlfriend has a drug problem. How do I know our daughter is clean?

was it x girlfriend or ur x wife how does ur girl friend hav ur daughter?

:( When you gave permission for this other man to adopt your child, you basically gave up any rights you had to your daughter. I'm sorry you are in this position now. Of course you should care, because I'm sure you did what you thought was best for your daughter at the time, giving her a stable life in a stable family or at least what you presumed to be stable. Unfortunately I don't believe there is much you can do at this point. Very sorry for your situation, good luck and I hope it all turns out fine.

Well first of all, without contact to your child as you had stated how do you know all of this is going on? Do you live in the same community or heard from other friends or family? I would greatly be concerned but unfortunately, you gave up your right to be concerned. I know that seems harsh, but as you said you can do nothing about it. I guess if it is a child in that type of scenario and your facts are true (not hearsay), you can always take action by contacting CPS or another organzation that has to to so with child safety and endangerment. You have the right to be worried and if she is found in an unsafe environemt she will be taken out of that home.

Sorry no suggestions for you but your right when you agreed to let your daughter be adopted you gave up all rights to that child but hat does'nt mean you can't worry about them. Maybe you should try to get in contact with the father to see how your child is doing and if shes not doing well maybe call someone on the mother. I know its hard and I can't imagine what I would do in this situation myself so I can really do is say good luck and hope all works out for your daughter.

hi there..i'm really sorry for you.i'm totally sad for the things that hapened. i know you let that man adopted your daughter. from the civil law you totally gave your right to him. but as a responsible father you should discuss this matter with that man. discuss that face to face as man.if he is a good guy, i'm really sure he has no problem letting you to meet your daughter.i'm sorry to say this "please be a good father" the real farther would be different from the adopted one.again..i'm sorry.although you gave him that permission but the real fact is you are her farther for ever after. no one in this world could ever change that.although it's about 15 years and about too late..but it's not that late, man!! kids always need love,guidance, spirits and courage from us.besides, her mom been caught, she must be afraid, lonely and does not have anyone to be hold on to.if you still could not feel the pain of your daughther, just put yourself at her state. what do you feel if you don't know who your farther is?? i do hope you could consider my words and i'm really sorry if i hurt you. i just want the best for all of us. :) love is the most important matter

Yes you should care your daughter is a part of you no matter what just bacause you signed a paper doesn't mean that shes no longer apart of you any more- shes blood!! Call the guy and ask him. I mean you still want the best for your daughter right???? It always helps to know whats going on. I know this isn't your situation but my parents are divorced and when I was 14 I got into it with my dad and we were no longer talking I felt like I know longer had a dad, I went off and did some bad shyt I was gettin high everyday drinking when I could, hanging out with guys- i was in the hood, and I went for a joy ride when I was high in my mothers car and totaled it.- I got sent to juvenile. I did as many bad things as I could to hide the pain I was feeling from my dad and I no longer talking. If you call the guy and find out she is doing bad things maybe you can help the guy turn her life around before its too late: here in texas once you turn 17 you are no longer a juvenile you go straight to county and that doesn't get off your record. Maybe you can help him pay for things for her to stay out of trouble.

honestly if the guy who adopted her really was a good guy, i bet he has taken initive and has protected the daughter from her mothers faults. if you haev been following up on her for a long time you could conteact the father just to check up. but i wouldnt sound intiminating. just ask kindly, and insure him that you are not trying to contact your daughter. Again though you shouldnt be worried i bet the dad has taken good care of her.

I dont want to sound like a meany but when you gave up all rights that is basically it. You cant just pop in the childs life now because of problems with her mother. And you should not even no what is going on with them. Its none of your business. So now I suggest that you move on. You cant make any difference now. I dont know how a father gives up rights to his own child. So dont go telling me you care. I think Ive said enough to you I think you get the picture.Just remember whatever happens it is your fault because you didnt care enough to even reconize your own daughter.

After scrolling down. All I can say, did you put it on paper that you would not contact your daughter. Words can be broken, especially if you believe harm is being done. You seem to care very much for her. Just push harder. But if you can't talk to them, maybe a family member can. This child shouldn't be dealing with her mom and at the same time her step dad being in Iraq. To much stress isn't good for a child.

Of course i think that you should care and i am glad that you do care! i think that you should definately talk to her husband as you will most likely get a more decent conversation out of him. I believe that you need to speak with her husband and just tell him your concern you can tell him that this is all that you need to know is that she is clean and doing good! Also keep in mind when she is 18 it is ultimately her desicion whether or not she would like to know you!!!

Try to casually contact your ex family...ask them how is your daughter doing. I bet they know because they live in the same community. At least you can get news about her. Any news is better than none at all.

according to me just give her husband a single call and discuss about this, and if he is willing to do so. Give him the offer that you are always there if he need any help or anything. and then him make the decission what he want to. dont force him neither take it too serious. just make him feel that you are concern about it and worried to. thats all you suppose to do.

ya it's a really hard time for u but my frnd u also didn't change her destiny,when there was a time u didn't take care of her and now u are worrying abt her,there is no need to worry as u don't know the childrens which brought up in hard or harsh environment has a very strong will power.

listen....you gave up on your daughter 15 years ago...so at this point you culd get in a scandal if you act woried..you culd get in a bad discossion with her father who can say mind your own business iv been here 15 years 15 birthdays and now you come and ask if there's any problems ? after 15 years ? im sorry im telling you this but it is the truth...

I would be willing to bet if this man is such a good man he would not keep you from visiting your daughter. Surely your daughter has thought about you and has many questions for you. I know cause I was somewhat in that same situation. My husband and I divorced and after 8 years he finaly gave up his rights to my new husband. At the age of 12 my daughter wanted to see her father. I allowed it with the understanding that if I felt it wasn't going well he would not be able to contact her nor her him. It took many years for her to find out that he was still the same jerk as when we were married. My daughter is very depressed and feels abandoned by him even though her step father was a great dad. She still has the emptiness that she is trying to work out. She is now 22 with 2 kids of her own and in a bad relationship. The guy could welcome the help you could provide. I would go see him and find out his feelings in the situation. I know when our adoption papers went through the lawyer told at the age of 18 my daughter could contact him without my permission. Maybe your daughter will do the same if she knows you want to see her. She is still a part of you and you should care. Remember too your parents didn't give up their rights as a grandparent because of the adoption. They have the right to contact her. Best wishes to you.

I wish you well and mean no ill harm, but you gave up your rights and sadly you have no right to have a say or anything. I hope that men/woman can learn from this sort of situation about signing rights to their children over to someone else.

You should not care about this situation. Emotionally its alright. But again, you have given permission to others to take care of the child, right? Now, its should not be your business. If I would have been in your position, I would get along with my normal life.

Gosh this is extremely difficult. I'm sure it could not hurt to try to contact your ex. But you have to be mentally and emotionally prepared if she does not want you to see her daughter. You should care because she is your daughter but legally unfortunately she is not your daughter and I don't know think you can change that. Just try to get in touch with her and see what happens. Good luck. I really hope it works out for you.

Well i can understand that you're still concerned about your daughter even though you legally gave up all rights to her..but frankly you cant do anything about this...and if you gave up all rights to you daughter (which im a little curious as to why you did in the first place) why do you even care? When most people sign off their children its because they dont want them or something along those lines.

well when you gave the other man permission to adopt your daughter you basically gave up all your rights to her and im sorry you're in this position but there is really nothing that i know of that you can do sorry and i really feel bad for you :(