My name is Nicole, and I am a victim of suicide.

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When I was 14 years old, I opened my mothers bedroom door to find her dead. She hung herself from her closet. This was the day the world as I knew it came crumbling down. I am now almost 28 and truthfully, it sucks. I have 2 kids that will never see her. A wonderful man that never got to meet her, and a brother who has been deeply affected by it, and rightfully so. Have you been affected by a loved one's suicide? If so, can you offer something to help people through their grieving process? And for anyone who has thought about or has attempted suicide, I'm not asking you to comment, because this is a very personal matter. But I am asking that you please read this and ask for help. There is help out there. You are not alone. Please, get help if you need it. There are phone numbers you can call, websites to get info. An exremely high percentage of people who have successfully committed suicide have mental ilnesses. Don't be embarrased! Please! I am posting publicly about my life so it may impact anothers life. I am not afraid to say that I am on medication due to panic disorder and major depressive disorder. (most likely due to my mothers death)please get help, please. Mental ilness is not something to be ashamed of. I personally think that alot of suicides could have been prevented with the right help. Please, I cant say it enough, please get help! Please do not leave. There are people who love you and need you. Please don't do to someone else what my mother did to me. I have lived now for almost 14 years with out her. I didn't get to have her there when I had my children. All I have is memories of things, and guilt that I could have prevented it. I know it hurts, I know its scary, I know you can feel confused, just remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS! Some info: 1-800-SUICIDE very easy to remember other Suicide hotlines: www.suicidehotlines.com has great info. there are national 800 numbers and you can also check by state. a great place: Friends For Survival. They are for people who have lost someone due to suicide. They are a nonprofit organization. I get a monthly newsletter that is very nice. website is www.friendsforsurvival.org A very short and to the point poem about my mothers suicide. I knew you weren't alright from the start. The Wrong One had a hold of your heart. I've pondered for thirteen years about this. I've longed for thirteen years for your kiss. You were my Mother, but I stood alone. I was so little, I couldn't have known. I never would have thought I would find you this way. My mind still recalls what happend that day. The rope that gave you peace, was the one that gave me war. You left me to fight alone, but what am I fighting for? You should have asked for help, you should have reached out your hand. Instead you left me with only one set of footprints in the sand.