Divorce and the children

i agree with you,,children still need both parents after the divorce or seperation,if you can be civil to your ex,brilliant,if you can stand to be in a room and smile at them for the sake of the kids,even better.we all have ex,s but not all of them bring children and if that relationship does not work out it is not the fault of the kids it is just a breakdown between you and the father/mother so the kids should have minimal stress put on them.personally ,i feel that any new partner should not come between the father/mother and their children,,they knew they had them and it is unfair to put themselves in pole position in the eyes of their partner just because they may be a little jealous of the ex or maybe sometimes even the children themselves,my ex can be a total git as many ex,x can be but we have to put that aside for the kids,,as far as they are concerned mum and dad are not together anymore and have new husbands/wives,but there are no problems with seeing dad,,we do what we have to do in those circumstances for our children,,they must come first,,they are not kids for long so as far as i am concerned,,it is a small price to pay for them growing up secure in the knowledge that mum and dad dont fight,,dont argue,dont take potshots at each other,,that visitation is no problem,,phonecalls are made whenever,,consideration shown with regards problems on visit day,,to kids,,it all counts and i would rather that than splitting up and still making excuses to hurt each other by spite and malice.

i was divorced back in 2004 and since then my children have stood by their father even when they know how he use to use me as a puch bag they dont like it that i have made a new life for myself with a new partner even after their father got married they now say i'm not their mother and want nothing to do with me but i know at the end of the day i am still their mother his new wife can never take my place they are all grown up and some of them have children of their own

This Query should have been answered long back. I don't know whether responding now will make any difference to them or not. But I feel that we should give it a try. What do you say? Thanks