Parents who dont 'Parent'

I agree you people are after money or achieving their cherished goal,but one should remember:investing in your child's development is the greatest development.If they would realize then they can take action in right direction

My friend has 3 little ones, and she now says that she loves being a mom until they turn around 1. Then they drive her nuts. Of course, she tries to reason with them like they're adults. Instead of saying, no you can't take that, there's a 20 minute lecture on why it's morally wrong and what the store goes through, etc. Just say NO!

I don't think that we can really do anything i mean ultimately it is the parents descion. However i am a firm parent and i never let my child get their way or try to control me. My children know that what i say goes and they always use their manners and are actually quite polite as well!!

I see that type of stuff more often then not. Once I was in a store and this woman had her 3 kids with her. Each one started grabbing at stuff and ripping it open and eatting it, after she told them no. So what did she do? Spank them, pay for what they opened, and GAVE IT BACK TO THEM! No wonder they did what they did! They got what they wanted in the end! Those are the moments that I'm thankful to have a daughter that just smiles at people, waves, and tells them hi. Granted she is 2 and she does get grabby, but she's not terrible about it. If anything, she borders on embaressingly social.

I know it's sad.. but I was thinking-- hopefully these parenst wanted to have kids & if they did and their kids were acting like this-- maybe they just don't have the tools they need to be successful at raising them. I mean, maybe they didn't have a great upbringing so they are only doing what they saw growing up, ya know what I mean? I think children should be the first priority for everyone. In some cases parents just have no idea what they are doing. But, in others which is the ones I'm sure your talking about.. your, right-- I don't understand it-- and you have to feel bad for the kids and the parents-but, what can you do? Parenting classes are available to people that want to take them or are court mandated-- but, it's usually the parents that need to take the class that don't because "they know they don't have anything to learn" so I think we will continue to be stuck in that same vicious circle.

i think its the duty of ythe parents to take care of their wards ....one must be careful towards the education of their children ....people must teach their children what is wrong and what is right ...only then they can become good citizens...

I don't agree with those who parent in this way either. Kids today are far more in charge than the parents. You would think with all the programs on the issue of bringing kids up not only to respect the parents but others around them the parents could get a grasp on these kids. On the other hand there is so much on abuse and what is considered abuse parents feel limited as to what they can do. I know for a fact how this can be. I spanked my two girls who at the age of 13 and 16 in my own home with a belt 3 licks each and I got 12 months probation. All because I left a mark on one of the girls just below her shorts hem. Needless to say they werent long shorts either. How far will the law go in teaching the kids that if they are punished by the parent the law will step in? I was spanked my parents and put in my room for weeks at the time for things I did wrong and I turned out fine. With some kids words don't work and with others they get the message. Is it really the parents who are at fault or the state who wont let parents punish. It's hard raising kids today with the laws against parents and not punishing the kids just as much.

I am going to try not to rant about this. As far as I am aware, I am bringing my own children up quite well. So yes it really really bothers me if other people can't do that. What I really don't like though is when people complain about the children. It's not the children's fault if they don't have good parents. It also bothers me when people assume you can't be a good parent because you're "too young". I had my first child at 19 and my second at 24. I taught them manners, I taught them to say please and thank you, they don't ask for things they don't need and I often wonder, if I can do that, why can't other people? I had an incident about a week ago. I was with my youngest child, who was eating some lunch in his pushchair, when an older child, who should have known better, ran straight into the pushchair and knocked my son's lunch all over the floor. Luckily, he had had enough but the other child continued running and the mother apologised. Now, if my children did anything like that (which they wouldn't but if they did) then they would be the one to apologise. I think that is part of the problem, the parents just let the kids run off and then the parents say sorry and please and thank you for the child. Sadly, I don't think there is a lot anyone can do about it except bring our own children up to be nice and shame others into doing the same. It does work at least sometimes. When you've got a 19month old baby saying thank you without being asked, it does make parents of older children feel very ashamed when their children aren't polite!

The parents should be the first one to teach good values to their kids if the parents dont use to teach good values their children would really dont give any good to our society. Parents have a very big factor in molding a good citizen.

i don't think this is right either, i have a child who is going to be 2 in the next few months and everytime i take her to the shops or something she screams and screams because she wants and she thinks she will get it. you see it's hard with me because her being our only child when her dad takes her the shop if she wants something, he will immediatly get it for her, whereas when i go i won't. infact i took her to the shop last night and she had a big fit there because i wouldn't buy her a juice when she has loads at home, so when i got home, i told my partner ( her dad) and he went mad at me because i never got her the juice and i said she always does this no mater what shop we or i go in and she's going to end up like a spoilt brat and demand things when she is older and he just says so, she is special to me and anything she wants she can have because i love baby's but now he is at work alot, im trying to get her into the habit that she can't have what she wants and when she want's. it will soon work for her but it's a bit stressful! :)

When my first daughter was around the age to grab at things, such as candy at the store, my favorite word to her was "no!" It was very easy to say, and she knew if she acted up that she wouldn't get something at the end of the trip. She would have to pay for her consequences. However, my mother and sister had spoiled her, and, now, she lives with them. They can't seem to figure out why she is so out of control. Well, I told them, and they didn't listen. It drives me nuts to hear about it, but what am I supposed to do when I am down here and she is up there. They should have listened to me when I first told them about this issue.

yes. there are parents who don't parents their kids in a way that they take care of them, they send them to school and stuff like that. maybe when they were young, they don't experience being taken care of by their parents too. that is why they can't even do the same to their kids. i care for the kids well being but then, as a citizen,i can just be a good member of the society. and bring righteous deeds to our country so that others may just try to imitate and be concerened with what they do.

I always feel that parents should be guardians that don't force things down your throat but rather guide and teach you to understand right from wrong. If a parent doesn't do this they are not parents but rather just people with kids.

Yes, it's really a sad story about these parents. They are support to be the first teachers and they lay the foundation for the morales of their children but they don't have the time to teach them or they teach them the wrong things. These children will be the leaders of the future but they have not been taught well. There are those parents who convince their children to be like them, to be ruthless and unscrupulous in dealing with other people. They think it's what's best for them.

I agree on most parts except for the fussing thing. Let me tell you sometimes it is easier to give on the small stuff just to have a peace of mind. You have to learn to pick your battles. I am not saying I give in on everything, but there are times when I will just to not have to deal with a tantrum. I am sure you will find a lot of parents who dod it on occassion. My children are normally well behaved, ahve manners & are good kids. I am not neglectful in any way.

I agree with you. I've encountered so many kids already who weren't much "parented" by their parents, like in play areas, you see rough kids who just push your kids or become rought with each other. Just yesterday, we attended this party where there was a girl who had a Dora laptop. My 2-year old, being a big fan of Dora, was amazed at the toy and asked me to bring her near the girl who had the toy. I was telling the girl that my daughter loves Dora and if it's ok for my daughter to play with her since they were the only girls in the party anyways. She wasn't replying and was using her arms to cover the laptop so my daughter can't touch it nor at least see it. I actually felt bad seeing the face of my daughter, but I just whispered to her that "maybe her mom didn't teach her how to share and play with other people", then we left, I had to distract my daughter so we can leave without her fussing. My point is, when we see kids who like my daughter's toy, I always teach my daughter about sharing, etc. Mind you, the girl yesterday came from a rich family and she doesn't know anything about sharing?! I hate it, not because my daughter felt rejected. My point is, I teach my daughter these good values, but others don't, in the end, it's my daughter who looks deprived. I just wish my daughter doesn't grow up thinking "why would i share my toy if people won't share their with me? Why is it always me?".. But I won't let that happen. I'll still continue to teach my daughter good values.

you know your absolutly right about every thing you just said... and what parents also dont relize is that their creating problems for their selves later on i life...

I have various friends that have different parenting styles than I do. Who knows if that makes it right or wrong. I just know that these are the people that I will not ask to babysit. One parent in particular and I disagree completely. Meanwhile her 19 year old is such a wonderful person, and I've known him since he was born. Who knows.

In our country there are these parents who never cares for their kid. They slept on the street but they keep on making more babies. The babies then grow as a snatcher, beggar on the street. I sometimes hate them. But I've realized that I have no right to judge them because I'm just a human and I also have my imperfections.

well, thinking about that, im was like that, since i had 8yrs old, i always did what i wanted, the times i wanted, at the start, i did stupid things, but i was learning by myself what i must do and what not, i learned about what was good for me and what not, i still do what i want, and i c u say "unfortunate childrens", thats not unfortunate, they are fortunate, not all childrens have the free will to do what they want, but the problem is themselves, they need to c what is good and what is bad for them, they need to learn from the live, if they are stupid kids, then they will use that "freedom" is how they will damage the society, but if they think about it a little, they will use that "freedom" in a good way like i did, the parents arent the bad ones, they are giving the destiny to them childrens, now their childrens decide what to do with their lives, its a good way to grown up in mind kinda fast.