Can families TRULY become "blended"?

My parents divorced when i was 2 and my mom moved in with my step dad right after their divorce. My step dad was the only father i knew growing up. He has 4 children of his own but they were all grown when we moved in, and only one was still living with him. Though my step brothers and sister were grown, I think we blended very well, we all still get along great and love each other very much, i consider all of their children as my own neices and nephews though alot of them are right around my age and in fact one of my nephews is even older then me.

I was brought up in a 'blanded' family during the end of my childhood. It was pretty hard, as we'd always had my mother to ourselves. To be honest, I think it's more of an issue with the parents, as the only differrences between the kids are how they've been parented differently before the marriage. My mother would never let my step-father discipline myself or my (full) brother. I think that of your kids are young enough, you could make it work by setting ground rules that apply equally to the WHOLE family. If your husband (to be - maybe!!) and you agree on exactly where any boundaries lie beforehand, you can tackle the kids as a joint parental 'unit'. This may avoid the "you're not my Dad" stuff as the other parent will know their limits on applying discipline and act within these with confidence that the biological parent will give full backup.

You will always have difficulties when two families become one. Even when the children become adults there are problems. But, with this said, you just need to work on the problems. If you are willing to commit to a relationship of any kind, you have to work at it. Good luck to you. Huggers.

The only part of our blended family that is really blended is me and my husband. The boys put up with each other and they do call each other brothers but it's very surface. I get along really well with my stepdaugher, she is in her mid 20s so it's more of a friend relationship than a family one.

No I don't think you can truly bland families. But waiting until your kids are grown might not be the solution you are hoping for. My parents divorced when I was an adult, my father has remarried. I never see him. He lives with her and her kids, he has basically lost me and my brother from his life. Why? we don't like her. I don't like her, I don't even want to know her kids. And she is offended that we won't play happy families.

It depends on how much you have in common, we had 3 boys, withing 4 years of each other, all athletes and hockey players. The other 1/2 was a coach of all of them at sometime or another. The youngest, mine and the oldest, his of the boys used to ref hockey, so did the other 1/2, it was a good day when they got games together, saved on gas money. They refered to each other as brothers almost instantly and always stood up for each other. But we also did the right things, they all usually got almost idential items for Christmas - the same PDA, the same digital camera, they all got hockey sticks - we had a goalie, a forward and a defensemen. It takes some work, but it can work. How old are the kddies?

In my experience with blended families the kids were quite young. So it was very much like in a situation where the child was adopted, things went smoothly because the child was too young to have an memories of a different situation. I do think blended families are very difficult and require a lot of skill to make them work. I think people often are left in the dark on how to accomplish that, and that's why they often don't work.

My Husband and I have been threw a divorce and now we are married, he brought his 2 daughters and I brought my 2 sons. Yeah theres been our share of problems, but not with the kids or our relationship only from the ex's who cannot move on or get jeolous of the relationship with the kids. Our kids get along as if they were blood brothers and sisters and my husband and I are very well connected. I think it is all in how it is looked at and approached. Our kids will always come first, but we share the same techniqes in raising them so it works out Great.

I think that it is very hard to have a family that is blended. I do not know if it is possible, i know if i was a kid and i suddenly just got a brand new brother or sister i barely knew, i'd be kind of weirded out. i guess it all depends on the situation. i dont know if my family is considered blended or not i wouldnt think, i have a stepson who is 3 and a daughter who is 6 months. they get along well and when they see eachother they are happy and play nice. I think if the children are really young when they were blended it would work out a whole lot better then if they were older that's for sure. good luck :)

sorry...I have to tell you that my fatherinlow is remaried.his actualy wife got to sons,and my fatherinlow got three.So what?I can tell you that we are ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY:))