a wedding invitation, just out of respect?
By maryannemax
@maryannemax (12156)
Sweden
January 26, 2007 9:12am CST
i received a text message just around 9pm (philippine time) from my bestfriend in college asking me to attend her wedding tomorrow at 10 in the morning.
i haven't seen her for a year and never even heard from her. and now, she texted me just like that.
i am not mad at her whatsoever for not communicating. i love to go to her wedding. i really do.
but she texted me at 9pm and the wedding's gonna be in another city which if more than 8 hours away by bus (the only way of getting there). and there's no bus anymore at 9pm even if i go straight to the terminal, i can't still make it. if i go and travel tomorrow, earliest would be 5am, i'd still be late and moreover, stressed.
why can't people tell us ahead of time? it's a grand wedding meaning, it's been long planned. so, why not tell me ahead of time. maybe 2 days before if she's really busy.
is such an invitation just out of respect or does it mean she really wants me to go?
well, sad to say but i really can't make it tomorrow unless i get to hire superman to fly me to her city.
17 people like this
69 responses
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
I can't understand why anyone would send an invitation to someone the day before their wedding. This seems a very strange custom to me. Usually all the invitations are sent out months early so people can make arrangements. I think I would be a little upset if someone did this to me at the last minute, I'd feel rather like an afterthought.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
26 Jan 07
yep. plus i don't wanna go there without bringing a wedding gift. i know it's not important but i want to. plus, she should have thought that superman's busy saving the earth and can't find time to bring me to her tomorrow. i mean, why are people so inconsiderate sometimes?
2 people like this
@Dolcerina (3376)
• Hungary
26 Jan 07
I do not even understand, that why she sent that invitation, if she did not want you to go...It is a joke.
2 people like this
@SimplyJo (1694)
• India
26 Jan 07
gurl u r too funny.
but you are bang on the target --- it's a invitie just for the heck of it...coz if u ever see 'em again, they'll say - hey i invited u why didn't u come - otherwise they wudn't know where to hide. right ? i've recd a few invities like this too.. it's like they are 'obliged' to invite but wud be happier if u dont go , eh !?
u know once a friend from college called me after like 3 yrs (we'd not even spoken to each other all this while) and asked me for my address to send her wedding card. i realllly don't know why she did that coz
1) - we hadnt spoken since 3 long yrs
2) - we were really not that close even in college
3) - that card NEVER came. can u believe that ????????
2 people like this
@StarBright (2798)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Don't be upset. Take it for what it is. She probably remembered you and what a good friend you were in college and felt bad that she did not invite you. The best she could do was text you to let you know she was getting married. Don't sweat it. You can't make it. If you can, call her. Otherwise, text her back. Be a friend like you were before. Wish her well. Be happy that she remembered in all the excitement. Don't even worry about a wedding present. Tell her you wish you could be there with her, but it's too late. Tell her you will be in touch when she gets back from her honeymoon. People tend to lose touch when they get out of school but the friendship is just as dear. Don't get your feelings hurt. She remembered you at a time that was very precious to her so she really cares about you. I don't think she is fishing for a present at the last minute. You, yourself, said you were BEST friends. She was not thinking of the difference in time or the distance, I'm sure.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
26 Jan 07
yes. you are right. i should be happy instead that somehow, she remembered me. and i did reply to her text message the moment i received hers. i wish her the best of everything ofcourse.
1 person likes this
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
26 Jan 07
One thing I know from experience is that a bride because crazy when planning a wedding and even though it was planned for a long time, perhaps she just kept putting it off.
I would try to think the best of her, she did invite, even if it wasn't by the best means. That being said, I don't think that means that you're obligated to go or should feel bad that you can't make it. It is unrealistic to think that you could make it in such time. Send her a note or even text her back with your regrets.
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
26 Jan 07
One thing I know from experience is that a bride *becomes* crazy when planning a wedding...
I would try to think the best of her, she did invite *you*,
Sorry, I need to start editing before posting!
1 person likes this
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I think I would do as others have said I would get her a nice congratulations card and mail it to her with your apologies for not coming to the wedding. She has to know that you can not come to the wedding, she probly was more than likely just letting you know that it was happening.
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
26 Jan 07
to be honest..if it was that important for you to be there you would have recieved an invite well ahead of the wedding..
o.k she could have been overwhelmed with the preparations etc but as they were writing the invitations..she could have sorted out then..last minute..doesn't give you much time to get your self there ..
send a text back wishing her well and maybe after her honeymoon etc you could perhaps meet each other for a dinner..and if you feel generous give her a wedding gift..but i would't stress over it..
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
26 Jan 07
yep. i'd rather see her after sometime. but not tomorrow. there will always be time for us again.
1 person likes this
@UcoksBaBa (800)
• Indonesia
26 Jan 07
I thought you could telephone him to inform to him that you could not come to attend the wedding, because of the invitation that came to you not in time the alias was very tight to be able to depart to attend his invitation.
1 person likes this
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I think the fact that it came so late in the game is kind of odd. If she texted you then she obviously had your phone number right? I am not sure of her motive behind it, but I would not stress over it. My mom ran into a childhood friend before my wedding. She invited her on the spot. I had not invited the friend because we had not talked in ages & I did not have any contact info. If I had her info I would have invited her sooner. It just works out that way sometimes.
1 person likes this
@netti2nite (87)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Well, I think she knew exactly what she was doing. She knew where you lived, she knew you wouldn't be able to make it. However, keep in mind that even sometimes people say they only have 100 people at their wedding because that's all they can afford. That 100 easily turns into 150 and 200.
As a bride you have to draw the line somewhere. And even tho you'd like to invite every friend you've ever had, you simply can't.
I'm she what happened is that she wanted to invite you, but was running out of space, then found out some people couldn't attend who said they could attend in the beginning, which gives her more room for those last minute people.
I mean I wouldn't worry about it too much. Its a very stressful time anyway, and you can't possibly make everyone happy.
@vintage_blowout (277)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Don't ask if she really wants you to go. Just don't go into that because it kinda tarnishes the friendship in an indirect way. Tell her you can't come but don't tell her it's her fault outright. You can use kinder words but let her know your feelings towards such a late invitation.
1 person likes this
@leotheking (154)
• Pakistan
27 Jan 07
well congrat on yoiur friends marrage i will be your supper man
@leotheking (154)
• Pakistan
27 Jan 07
you should attend your best friend marrige i know you are very excited because she is a your best friend may be she would be friend sice your school time so lets enjoy the marrage party
@momokoseiya (453)
• United States
26 Jan 07
It's in poor taste to invite someone to a wedding VIA text message. I think she wanted you to go, but why wait until the last minute when it is almost impossible for you to go? That isn't fair to you.
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
22 May 07
I had a similar situation before, and like you I thought it was quite not inviting. I would have to travel quite a distance too. And she also knows that I have my daughter to attend to. It's not easy for me to plan that quick, because I have a lot to consider. And she even added the "huli man...nahahabol.." (means "even last..catch up..etc")you know that saying, on her text to me. I was really upset. And I already knew about her plans and thought maybe she was going to say so within the week. But to text late at around 11pm for a 7am affair. So I really understand what you went tru. And I didn't went either. Why waste my time and effort, where actually she didn't even spend any of it, even just to invite me properly and earlier. (^^,)
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
30 May 07
Thank you for the BR mark Maryann! I just attended the wedding of my college classmate. We were not that close, but I really appreciated her effort to invite all of us. And it was done weeks in advance. It was great and you really felt invited and welcomed. Even after 7 years of not seeing each other. (^^,)
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
31 May 07
That is bad. maybe she thought you were sent a invitation but found out you weren't and decided to let you know? It's possible. But If she truly wanted you there in my way of thinking why wait till the last second to do so? She knew you wouldn't be able to make it. And since you said it was a big wedding and took awhile to plan it she should have made sure you were sent a invite when all the other were not just as a after thought. I have had this done to me a few times and then they said well I invited you so you can't say we didn't but you have to give someone more then a few hours or even a few monutes notice. Been nice though if you could have gotten to go. It has been 5 months and has she contacted you since?? or sent pics of the wedding? Well, I hope in the future that you will atleast get a 24 hour notice about thesse such things..Superman is never around when we need him..lol He's off saving the world..
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
25 May 07
Sounds like you were an after thought, that perhaps she meant to invite you and forgot, or some people cancelled at the last moment and she had room to ask more people to attend, needless to say her poor planning has caused her less people to come to her wedding or to think highly that she waited to the last moment to invite her friends to such a big event of her life.
@RaayFa (126)
• Thailand
25 May 07
I think this kind of invitation is funny wierd strange and hurt ,
do they accident forgot or just recall, they really want some guest more at there ?
me too received this kind invitationS and wonder, after we finished school, hig school, college never talk for many years, never letters, never call
Why they want me there ? :)
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
31 May 07
Maybe she started thinking about you and realized that she forgot to send you an invitation. She should have sent it earlier than the day before the wedding though. And she shouldn't be mad if you didn't show up because she sent it last minute.
@natalie1981 (1995)
• Singapore
25 May 07
yeah, I guess this one is probably out of respect or just to inform you.
Ohhh, I would probably hate that friend if it had happened to me. LOL.
Maybe you could do the same to her. Like, have your wedding in Sweden then text her to tell her she's invited, one hour before the actually wedding. LOL. See how that makes her feel.
@teleios (737)
• Philippines
30 May 07
i agree with the others that texting someone to attend a wedding a few hours before the wedding actually starts can end up making the textee feel like an afterthought. just tell her in the most polite way that you can't come, and leave it at that, and hope that no more friends does that ever again.
