Does marriage limit the couple's freedom??
By pina_land
@pina_land (250)
Singapore
January 26, 2007 10:20am CST
For those who are married, have you ever regretted the marriage??? Do you want to return to your individual life where you can come home anytime youwant and spend your hard-earned money on yourself?? In what way is men's and women's freedom become limited?? They can't leave home as long as they want. They can't go holiday with their friends that often anymore or having fun and behave the way they like. So, does marriage need a big sacrifice?? On the other hand, what can you obtain from marriage besides happiness??
I have thought of there questions for quite some time. Will anybody of experience and knowledge contribute your views please....^^
1 person likes this
13 responses
@gendomingo (115)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
when one gets married, it would also mean that you are ready to embrace the responsibilities tied to marriage. i dont think it's limiting freedom, it's more of putting your priorities in the proper place which is, family first. your wife/husband/family will now be your priority. you can still enjoy with your friends but you have to put a limit on time to spend w/ them because you have to attend to your family too. so, enjoy life to the fullest while still young, free & single so that when you decide to marry, you wont have any regrets that you didnt enjoy much when you were still single.
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
wow thats a simple yet meaningful answer. Thank you for replying.
@Sir_bobby88 (8231)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
Depend on what kind of freedom you want of course ... if you get another mistress , for what you get married and try to hurt your wife ....
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
I don't really get what you mean so please elaborate on it. How many kinds of freedom are there?
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I dont regret getting married at all....I lvoe my husband very much and really I dont feel as though I've lost my freedom etc...the money I make online (which isnt much granted but its better than nothing) I spend on whatever I want....I'm free to come and go as i please and so on..I've been on vacation without my husband and without my kids actually and I'm doing it again this spring..and I still behave the same way I did in a lot of ways before I met him....
I think freedom is only missed when one decides to give it up becaue they've gotten married....and that doesnt make any sense to me..I'm still the same person I was before I married him and I see no reason to completely change...He was attracted to the me before the we so why would I want to lose that or be willing to give it up.....make sense?
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
You are lucky to have such an easy-going husband. But some spouses just won't allow that you know, going with friends for holiday all that. They will say that you abandon your family and things like that. Anyway, thank you for the reply.
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
In a sense yes. Marriage is committing yourself to one person and that implies limitation of freedom. No freedom is ever absolute, it has limitations. Your committment puts a boundary to your freedom. You can not cross over that boundary without hurting the one you love. This should be clear to both couples before entering into the sanctity of marriage.
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
yes, thank you for your reply. That makes things clear to me.
@toyboxer04 (353)
• Malta
27 Jan 07
No I don't feel I am missing anything just because I am married. My husband is a very understanding man. I don't regret a single moment from the day I got married to him.
You are right to say that you can't go on holiday with friends. But who said I wanted to go on holiday with friends. If I was to go on holiday I would durely go with him. I come home any time I wish and spend my hard-earned money as well as his hard-earned money on myself.
Ok you have to make a sacrifice here and there but beleive me it is all worth it. I have a life companion for when I grow old and sick and everytime I want he is there to hear me laugh or cry.
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
This is a good one but sorry can't give you the best response because I feel that there will be times when one can get bored with his or her spouses. Not to say bored forever and decide to separate, but bored of going holiday with him or her, these kind of things. Sometimes, we just want a new condition
@tanu22 (61)
• India
27 Jan 07
Yes marriage does restrict couple's freedom.A women can't meet her old male friends and men can't meet his female friends.Everything goes with compromise.One need to ask other partner for every small little thing.I m not yet married but still can sense it.
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
yes, actually, that is what going on in my mind. But none of the reply so far pertain that matter. Our friendship is brought down strictly. We can't anyhow mix around with guys and girls anymore.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
27 Jan 07
i havent got married yet, so i just can give u my opinion. basically people get married with diff background (eg. based on love, dont want to be alone, money, etc). From my perspective, marriage does limit the couple's freedom to a certain extent. however, if u think it this way, since that u are couple, u can go anywhere u like as long as u want to with ur beloved right. and it's right that u cant go out with ur friend that often anymore. but what's the purpose to go out that often also, when u reach that stage, u will have ur own jobs, ur friend will have their own jobs. obviously u cant hang out with them anymore right. and even if u does, think it this way, ur friends will also have their own family by that time right. what u can do is do a regular meet up like maybe every month to catch up with ur friend.
and marriage needs a big sacrifice, what's in the world that doesnt need sacrifice anyway. everything that u do, u'll have to bear the opportunity cost. also, why does someone want to get marriage? coz they need a partner to go through the life together with them. it's hard to be possibly do everything by urself. u'll need someone that u love, that can understand u, that will always care for u, and be by urside forever. if u have find that someone, will u just stay as friend or as boyfriend forever? and dont want to get marriage, so as both of you can become as one? think about it again.
@zhizhong07 (674)
• Singapore
27 Jan 07
I do believe that it depend on individual couple but for me, i think it is another step in the life cycle, it is just how you see it as or how you handle it.
@jessicamom24 (391)
• United States
26 Jan 07
well its just depending on if you two have kids or not but if you yes it yes because you can't do the things you did when you guys didn't have any and then you would have to find a babysitter and then you have to tell her wht specfic things to do for her
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
26 Jan 07
yes, hiring babysitter. But that means u need money to pay the babysitter and you will have to spare some money you earn aside for that. Isn't that a kind of burden too??
@yanple (164)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
marriage isn't really that much of a sacrifice, provided that you really love your partner and ready to face the challenges. when i finally got married, i made sure that i've enjoyed my single life to the fullest. now, i can still enjoy with my friends, but i'd rather spend them with my family. they are my priority now and i just enjoy being with them always, so it's not really a sacrifice for me.
as long as you're happy, go for it.
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
26 Jan 07
well, that has painted a clear picture for me. I can sense that you are really a happy and good wife as well as mother. Wish you well ^^
@5dollarmiracle (144)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I married my best friend. Why would I want to party with anyone else. Where ever we go, we go together. We've raised four children, now have 2 grandchildren, another on the way. With children there were times we wished we had more time to do the things we wanted to, but not because of the marriage. We wanted to do things together. Been married 30 years and have one child at home yet.
@pina_land (250)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
Don't you ever feel tired taking care of your children? And when you go everywhere together, don't you ever feel bored going with the same person anytime even though you love him or her?? I mean, there are times when you want to have fun or bond with your parents and friends even after marriage, aren't you?
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
20 Sep 11
It speaks more often in statements elsewhere learned about freedom in a relationship. "You have to leave it open to see if they come back to you" "I have to respect freedom", "give him space" - are phrases that urge us to spend hours or days in a planned manner on the Official partner as freedom of movement to re-learn. To put our love to the test and then we find it with joy, near the same man. I, however, do not understand why two people who love really have to run from time to time to the brewery in the corner to regain the enthusiasm of the couple. Why not ask him where he was and why the delay on a man who is half of your soul and that if all lives with you, share the bed, money and heart rate, you would not say in advance what is going to do and how much will be late. Why do not you dare call it when the phone you should bring her joy?
I know you can not force your side with a man who loves you. It is vain to control someone cheat you, because you will betray however, between two phones to check. I totally agree that vigilance profits nothing a couple who already infiltrated cold or infidelity. But do not get with any chip you pretend not to be asked where you were, if you have nothing to hide, why do you keep your eyes away from consort or Spouse, if the phone is simply what has been programmed to be some communication tool, not a Pandora's box, crammed with secrets, why do you run next to the man you chose to be your haven.
I think freedom means you give the couple the other the right to love you or stop loving. Between the two extremes were stuffed, but a lot of hypocrisy that leaves us no die or live. And even less to love as we wish.