Harrassed about going to Church...
By mzbubblie
@mzbubblie (3839)
United States
January 26, 2007 7:08pm CST
This post is not intended to be disrespectful to anyone religion...or anyone beliefs, this is my own personal experience....
I have a neighbor that constantly on me about going to church and why I need to go, the goodness of it etc etc.
Growing up, I faitfhully went to church every single Sunday, Sunday Shool, afternoon service, and sometimes evening service with my grandma for a NUMBER of years...
Now older, maybe it has something to do with my growing up, I don't know now do I have no clue. I feel I don't have to go to church to believe in something...But, every Saturday she starts, and Sunday she is calling me saying "we are going to church tomorrow right?"...I respectfully say no, and she toot her nose up and go on. She comes home talking about what great service they had and how I should have been there...
I'm thinking ok when I'm ready to go I will go, the more she ask me the more I don't want to go. The more I would have thought she would have caught the hint by now, but she acts like my mind is going to be change and strongly determined to get me to go...
I know people have their beliefs and want to spread the word and encourage others to follow or introduce them to their religion, I respectfully understand that, But isn't there a limit to continue constantly asking someone? Might I add she been asking me for about 8 or 9 months now... shouldn't the other person feel, there job has been done? The invite is out there, it's up to the other person if they want to go or not?
I have been really nice about the whole situation, but it's becoming to a point she going to push a button and I'm going to blow a fuse...I know she mean well and I respect that. But don't force it on me...
How many No's does it take? What would you do in this situation? Have you been in a similar situation..Please share...
7 people like this
29 responses
@2timothy (794)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
I would suggest that you print what you have just said here to her or relate this feeling to her and ask her to just pray for you for the mean time and wait for you to call her instead when you're ready.
Sometimes I would not go when invited because I would not like to go just to please somebody. But oftentimes it was a pleasure to surprise people when they did not invite me and least expect me to attend. :)
2 people like this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Thank you for your advice..I know I try to tell this lady but she just isn't taking no for a answer...I do tell her to pray for me..But she still say you NEED to go...thank you again...and thank you for responding
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I understand that this is not about the condition of your faith, or your soul, as from your past experience I am sure you know about spiritual beliefs. I think if I had such an annoying neighbor I would speak to her in a language she understands. Tell her that she is becoming the millstone around your neck that will cause you to stumble and that she is getting in the way of you hearing what God is telling you. Ask her if she wants that responsibility when she meets Jesus. I am religious, and I know that I am to witness. I witness to the life changing power of Jesus, not the value of attending a church. There is a difference. Even if I witness to you, it is not MY job to save you or convert you. It is the job of the Holy Spirit. God bless you, do not let your neighbor mislead you, or drive you away.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thank you for your kind words....And i totally respect your views and happy someone who is religious understand where I'm coming from...I will take up your advice...thank you again for the nice inspiring words...
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Let me ask you this....do you feel you NEED to go in order to have a relationship with God? Nevermind what others think, believe or even whether or not its in the bible for that matter...Whats important is how you personally feel about it....Do you think God would WANT you to be in church if you really in your heart felt you didnt need to be or werent comfortable?? I doubt it...I think he would much prefer you worship him in the best way for you personally...being in a church when you dont want to would only take away from your love for him dont you think cause you would be concentrating on how much you DONT want to be there....See what I'm saying? I think its far more important for you to worship when, where and how YOU feel most comfortable and if church isnt the place then thats fine..and I'm sure it'd be fine with God too ;-) If this woman continues to be headstrong then I would flat out tell her that as much as you appreciate her concern right now you prefer not to go because you feel more love for your God by doing things a little differently right now without distractions from outside influences but as soon as you are ready to go back you'll be sure to let her know ;-)
1 person likes this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
27 Jan 07
You know you read my mind and makes sense in everyway as well...I would only be going to church because SHE wanted me to, My heart wouldn't be in it as I woke up on a Sunday and said I want to go to church...thank you for your advice and words...
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I have no problem with whatever anyone wants to believe. This is the problem I have with religions. It seems their main theme is to convert the world. Maybe you could tell her that you are interested in some other faiths and that you are praying for an answer. You appreciate her concern, but it is a decision you have to make for yourself with God's help.
Maybe tell her that when the time is right, God will lead you to the right faith. It is a situation that you are giving your attention to, but as of right now, you are not ready to move forward. If you decide to go to her church, you will let her know.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Yes, that's true, there are so many religions out there and so many people trying to convert you to their religion, Jehovah witnesses come by, I tell them I'm baptist, they tell me why I should try JW and invite me to their church....Sometimes I feel I can't win for loosing....thank you for your advice
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I don't know why people think that they have to get everybody to go to their church.I think you are handing it correctly.I hope she gets the message that no thank you means no thank you.You are right.I think you don't have to go to church to be a good Christian.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thank you for agreeing and understanding my point of view...thank you for the encouragement as well....lastly thank you for responding
@Jimbos (10)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Going to Church is your business and none others unless they wish to discuss the sermon or ask you about the Church tou attend. Politics abd religion are topics that causes more arguemnets than others. I go to church to learn more about Jesus and the Bible and to ask for guidence in my life. I'm no better than the next person. I love the Lord and beleive in him and Heaven and also we will all meet again someday with all our loved ones who have passed prior. If you feel uncomfortable talking to this person then just stop YOU do not have to justify youeself to anyone. Life is very short. Be happy. God Bless Love and Respect Jimbo
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thank you for your inspiring words...I will take your advice as well....I'm trying to keep a friend and not fall out due to church...thank you for responding
@Krisss (1231)
• Australia
27 Jan 07
I am a church going Christian but I believe she is the one being disrespectful. Its one thing to make people welcome but another to annoy them to the point they dont want to set foot inside any church because of the harrassment.
When your neighbour starts on you again, give her a blank stare and say I dont want t discuss this anymore, you hurt my feelings. No matter how many times she asks, dont elaborate.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thank you for your word of advice, I'm trying and I will try your advice...One day only one weekend, I wish she wouldn't ask me...thank you again for the word of advice...
@missybal (4490)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Story of my life. I have gotten that for years now from so many people. I too grew up going to church and all. Well as time went by I got so busy I didn't have time to go. Also I had to work when they had service so that didn't work either, but my grandmother prayer for my soul because I wasn't going to church. Every little thing that happened in life she would tell me you need to go to church and pray and it will get better. I feel I can pray at home. Then Sundays turned into family day when I see my other set of grandparents and my great grandmother and we play games and visit. Well I still read the bible all the time with my husband. I pray when I have something to pray about but I don't every second of every day. It's just I feel god knows me and I know him and I believe and I'm a good person who follows the teachings of the church so what does it matter if I go and sit with a bunch of people to listen to one man interpurt the bible to me. I'm fully capable of doing it myself. Also churches always seem to me to be a place for the old bitties to go and gossip. And half the time I would find it was the bad kind of gossip and church turned into a little members only club. When people get on my case about going to church I tell them I believe that god understands and wants me to take care of my family and he knows that I believe in him. And I don't have to go inside some building to prove that.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Very well said, and you and I are at the same point...I can say, I'm having a bad day or something not right around her and she instantly start talking about church...man it can take a toll after a while you should know as well...thank you for responding
@volschenkh (1043)
• South Africa
27 Jan 07
Oh you have to set the boundaries with this neighbour, thats for sure! Tell her, that you will decide when you will go to church and that she must stop forcing you into going. Give her the boundaries in explicit terms: Dont tell me to go to church, I will decide for myself. Stop pestering me, I will not allow this anymore. Tell her that your faith is strong and that she need not interfere. She has got to back off...
Before you blow up, set the boundaries...like a male lion growling when another male is entering his turf...that way you wont have to spend to much of your energy on this and it does not have to end in a fight!
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I won't fight her, but I would give her a ear full, probably things I know she would not like to hear...I know her faith and beliefs is strong, I just wish she would stop trying to convert me
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
27 Jan 07
This is very hard to deal with. My grandfather and uncle are both pastors. Growing up I was forced to be in church on Sunday, Sunday evening, on Wednesday evenings, and any time that they had a special event or something going on. Since becoming an adult I also see it as I don't have to go to church to believe in it. It is hard when people hound you to go. You are right in the fact that it does just make you not want to go anymore. I would talk with your neighbor and tell her that as a child you went because that is what was expected of you and now that you are an adult you like to make that decision on your own. Tell her that you appreciate her invite and that when and if you have the desire to go you will call her and let her know and until then please stop bothering you. She may not see that she is being pushy so you may just need to bring it to her attention.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
How can one not realize they being pushy?? I know what you mean though, I have tried with this woman...I will be polite and respectfully tell he to stop asking me...it's a bit much
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Going to church is a personal choice no one has the right to keep pushing you to go with them. I am a Christian but I don't go to church. If you believe in God he is with you always even if you don't go to church. Tell this person ho is pushing you to go to church. Let him or her know that you will go when you want to go they just have to wait and not constantly ask you..Tell them that even if you dont go to church that doesnt mean you're a non-believer..be frank..
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Trust me, I have tried that too.. and she still find ways to overpower what I say..She says, "oh that's nice, but you know god this and god that"...UGGHH it gets to me...
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
I agree with you. I was raised the same way, but as an adult I no longer attend church as I feel I would be a hypocrite in doing so. I don't believe in all the practices of my religion, therefore I don't go. I do believe in God but I believe if we try our best to do our best that is all He expects from us. Perhaps you could try and explain your reasons to her, or you could just tell her that you're not interested right now as your life is to busy, but thanks for the invite and if/when you change your mind you will give her a call and gladly take her up on her offer.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I hope all this good advice pays off...I will keep you all posted...She called tonight asking me again..I swear this lady don't get it
@dm74728 (159)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I understand. I have been on both sides of that fence. She really wants you to be happy and be saved, but she is pushing to hard. I always just tell the people I talk to "come to church when you feel like you can make it, Your always welcome". Your neighbor is unwittingly pushing you the other direction by coming on to strong. Tell her thanks for the invites but you would rather she stop asking so much because it's bothering you. She can always pray for you.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Yes, the more she ask, the more I honestly don't want to go...But, I'm going to talk to her one on one and explain how it's really becoming a headache to me..thank you for response and your advice
@webduck (238)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Some people just love to evangelize. They feel it is their 'duty' to get everyone to know God. I am not a church going person, so it is hard for me not to be prejudiced about this. When I lived in FL, one of the first questions the local people always asked me was what church I went to. When I replied that I didn't go, they gave me the oddest looks, the cold shoulder and I was considered (I guess) a heathen. You could do what my old neighbor did when she was bothered by the JW's. She put on some appropriate attire and aswered the door in a kind of languid voice and said, "Oh, come on in. I was just getting ready to have a seance". They NEVER came to her door again. No doubt, they thought she was too far gone.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Yes, everyone who are religious and belief in god and faithfully go to church, some people take their beliefs too far like her...thank you for responding
@cisco1 (539)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Just tell your neighbor thanx for the offer and advice but tell her dont force it on you. Tell her gently and nicely to stop badgering you about it! that she is only making it worse. If she is a true christian she would respect it and would back off. tell her you will go when you are ready to go. i have my family tell me that i should go to church but they dont force it on me each time they see me. The people i cant stand is jehovahs witness. sorry dont like it, when i was young my mom would have a sign saying that this is a catholic home, any other religions please do not solicit. they would still knock on the door and try to convert us into their religion. I would tell them read the sign and slam the door on them.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
28 Jan 07
yeah, i understand that..Some people just want you to join their religion...We use to have Jehovah witnesses come to our home all the time also..It was a bit much, my mom was so nice she would stand and listen....Not me...lol...
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Wow-- that would totally turn me off that person all together- She must realize that it bugs you. If and when you are ready to go back to church you will-- Not in her time- in yours. Don't let anyone force you into it. I'm sure you won't enjoy it if thats the case. I am like you and I used to go every week with my grandma. It was fun as a child. As I grew older I lost the need to go- Yes I believe in God but I don't feel like I need to go to church to be touched by him. I would totally freak if I had a neighbor like that- My across the street neighbor is an older lady-- She goes to church every Sunday- Yet she doesnt push me- She invites me for things held there but doesn't push.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
27 Jan 07
That's exactly how i feel. I don't feel I need to go to church to believe in GOD...and she don't understand that...Maybe she supress my No's in her head...All I know is sometimes I don't even answer my door when she knock...thank you for responding...
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
27 Jan 07
Well I understand where you are coming from. I am not a religious person - never have been - probably never will be - and one thing I have never understood about some religious people is their urge to force others into their beliefs. I would just politely tell this lady that you do not feel ready to go to Church at the moment, and that you are not in the right place in your life right now to go. I would ask her to respectfully understand and respect your choices. Good Luck.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Thank you...I been trying...I been holding my tongue for so long now, even explaining to her that I'm not ready but she still insist...thank you for your advice and response
@DuoMaxwell (953)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I might not have this problem right now, but in the past I have constantly been dogged to go to church by my sisters. I found that still annoying, and if that kind of religion tries to make me go to church without a say in the matter, I would rather drop that religion like a ball of heavy lead.
Religion is fine and all, but not at the price of being dogged by people who try to make you do something that, to another, may feel uncomfortable. I never liked Sundays at all. Not back then, and not now. I used that day to sleep in from Saturday, and I don't like to wake up groggily to go to church.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I can respect that...I'm not groggy on Sundays, I do rest. My thing is I just don't want to go...I understand you being dogged..Hopefully, one day they will get the hint...good luck and thanks for the response
@marytoad (53)
• United States
27 Jan 07
We all have our own opinions.
Your neighbor should respect your opinions of church just as she would any other belief that you have. People who try to force beliefs on others have other, deeper problems. She is now being rude & disrespectful of your friendship by pushing her opinions on you IF you have made it clear that, while you appreciate her concern, you are making a CHOICE of what YOU desire to do.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Thank you..I'm glad you all understand but she don't...I'm trying to be nice to her..But she makes it so hard..sooo harddd...thank you for responding...
@thechemist3 (2)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I have the same problem with my dad. Every week he asks me to go to church knowing what I will say. And everyone else acts like I have to go to church in order to be religious. And if I do go, everyone makes a huge deal over it so I'm better off not going.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I totally understnd what you mean. I'm the same way. When I go visit my parents and my grandma, I do every now and then go to church with my grandma...
