Do you feel comfortable leaving your kids with an ex?

if a baby's father has made himself unavailable to you or your child, i beleive that you and your child have the right to do the same thing to him. Let him wonder where you may be living, what your phone number is and other details. its just not right that he can come and knock on your door! that is absolutely Rude! talk about an invasion of privacy. i would pretend i have amnesia and say excuse me who are you again?? oh so you say that you are my baby's dad? well that cant be because if you were their real dad you'd be here more often, sorry about the mixup, hope you find your real children.. buh bye. then just disappear and move out.

one of my relative ha these same type of problem now. actually, he also one like your husband's situvation now. he loves his children and wife very much, the problem with him is expessions of love is very little for him and also he was not successful in clearing their small small family problems. lately this came to the phase of divourse. he loves his children very much and his wife doesn't gives them, or not even go around with him for a while. i tnk if these is also a problem like his matter. according to children's attitude the needs father and mom. they need care from both of you. think that kids will always not be kids. they can also think and do things when they become big. and they will do as they likes

I am not yet married and if your situation comes into my life then surely i will not do that because they will not really care about our child and also this is not the way to leave our child.

dont let him take your kids out of the state unless you are very comfortable with him haveing the kids,i dont know how old your kids are but its going to be hard on them also..so be sure to talk to them when they come back an see if you can find out everything that went on.but dont go against court orders.i went through this years ago.my ex was ok so i had no trouble.but time has change an so has people..ask question but do to were the kids dont fell they are getting intergated.i hope the kids come back home ok.

how old are your kids?? old enough that they can take care of themselves if situation calls for it?? or the other way around?? all you can do now is to pray harder that nothing will happen there...and hope for the best for them ..have peace ..can you not call your children through cellphones??

MY ex hasnt borrowed our daughter lately.last time i did let my daughter stay with him was bout 3 yrs ago.that was the last time.he takes good card or her.and i trust him that he wont do anything bad to our kid.but what i worry is what food he gives my kid.. if u think that your husband is doing something to the kids,better tell the court about it.if something happens to your children they can nver take away that memory again.

I don't know what kind of a person he is but hopefully he won't hurt or harm his kids, I am still married to my husband but if he was my ex I would be concern because my children are not with me but it's their other parent and we can't keep our children away, even if we want to sometimes we have to do what the law says, I know it's tough but hopefully he's a better parent since you have been with him for your childrens sake.

my friend has three kids and she has gon through heck with her ex and the court system. when she got divoreced her ex was in jail when they got divoreced, so she got somewhat of what she wanted out of the marriage. she did not want her ex to see her kids at all until he went through some kind of treatment and parenting classes. the judge told her that she had to let him see the kids because he has not done anything to the kids. so she let him have some kind of visit to where she kind of feels safe. she got in the court to grant her that he can see the kids in a public area and supervised. that lasted a little while . he took her back to court and got his way on the visitation. he got to have the visit over night and on the weekends she did not want that to happen but her hands where tied. this only went on for a little while. she had gotten many phone calls from her daughter when she was with her father . her daughter would tell her that daddy is passed out and their was noone home with them. the mom asked where their granmother was and her daughter would tell her mom that she was not home. so the mom called the cops to do a well being on the kids and they did that for her. the cops would call her back and tell her that their are other people at the house so not to worry about the kids. so the mom was okay with it because the cops told her that the kids are okay. well when the kids came home from thier fathers the daughter would tell the mom that she does not want to go to daddys house anymore and the mom would ask why? the daughter said she does not feel safe at daddy's house. the following weekend the mom did not let the kids go because she did not feel safe sending the kids that weekend so she did not sen them. the following weekend she sent them and the daughter would call and say that dad locked himself in the bedroom and will not open the door for the kids and when he did he fell back to sleep on the chair with a knife neck to him. so the cops went to the house with the mom and got the kids and told her ex if he wants to see the kids anymore he will take me to court. so we did and the mother got the visits to be an hour and half a week and you want to know something thier father is missing in action and told the kids that he wants nothing to do with them anymore. the mom wants to do something about that but the judge will take away the child support so the mom is leaving the visit the way it is . mabye you can get the visits to be suppervised by someone that you both trust until you feel safe leaving him alone with the kids. mabye you can talk to the judge and let him know that you do not feel safe with him takeing the kids out of the state and let him know that you would like to take the visits slow untill you feel safe.

It depends on the relationship the kids have with the ex, but more imiportatnly, it depends on his ability to obey my wishes. When my sons were young and I divorced their dd, they didn't spend anytime alone with him until I figured they were big enough to take him in a fight. That's because the divorce was brought on by his being physically abusive to them. So when I figured they could team up and take him down, they got to visit him on their own and things worked out fine. What you need to do is make sure visitation takes place in your home only, or that someone who you trust is always present. I assume that the visitation orders do not indicate where or how that is to take place, so you can try just telling your ex that visitation will be where you say it will be. This is where supervised visitation can pay off. Don't go against the court order but see if you can get it modified to limit some of his freedom with the kids. You might be able to find an attorney who will do the work for you pro bono so that you don't end up having to choose between groceries and the protective order.

never been in such a situation..

Denying visitation is a big no-no in custody issues, and could really hurt you down the road if your ex tried to get custody. It's really hard to send your children into what you feel is an unsafe environment. Document everything that happens with the ex, keep a notebook and write down dates and times, anything that concerns you, etc. Make sure your kids know how to call 911 if they're scared or don't feel safe. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, and I really hope it gets better.

No, not at all.. :)

if he is trusteorthy and responsible but if its been a year i would be a little nervous

he has still a right and i guess he also loves my kids good reason or even an enough reason to entrust our kids to him, but still i'm not comfortable i will continually think what my kids is doing while they are away from me.

Oh thats a tough one. I'm not sure what things your ex did.. but you obviously have a problem with it. So I would probably have a problem with it. I know if my husband and I divorced.. I would have a problem with them going out of state.. even though he's a wonderful father. I think all you can do is hope he changed and wait. Hopefully the kids are old enough to speak up if he does do something.

my friend has three kids and she has gon through heck with her ex and the court system. when she got divoreced her ex was in jail when they got divoreced, so she got somewhat of what she wanted out of the marriage. she did not want her ex to see her kids at all until he went through some kind of treatment and parenting classes. the judge told her that she had to let him see the kids because he has not done anything to the kids. so she let him have some kind of visit to where she kind of feels safe. she got in the court to grant her that he can see the kids in a public area and supervised. that lasted a little while . he took her back to court and got his way on the visitation. he got to have the visit over night and on the weekends she did not want that to happen but her hands where tied. this only went on for a little while. she had gotten many phone calls from her daughter when she was with her father . her daughter would tell her that daddy is passed out and their was noone home with them. the mom asked where their granmother was and her daughter would tell her mom that she was not home. so the mom called the cops to do a well being on the kids and they did that for her. the cops would call her back and tell her that their are other people at the house so not to worry about the kids. so the mom was okay with it because the cops told her that the kids are okay. well when the kids came home from thier fathers the daughter would tell the mom that she does not want to go to daddys house anymore and the mom would ask why? the daughter said she does not feel safe at daddy's house. the following weekend the mom did not let the kids go because she did not feel safe sending the kids that weekend so she did not sen them. the following weekend she sent them and the daughter would call and say that dad locked himself in the bedroom and will not open the door for the kids and when he did he fell back to sleep on the chair with a knife neck to him. so the cops went to the house with the mom and got the kids and told her ex if he wants to see the kids anymore he will take me to court. so we did and the mother got the visits to be an hour and half a week and you want to know something thier father is missing in action and told the kids that he wants nothing to do with them anymore. the mom wants to do something about that but the judge will take away the child support so the mom is leaving the visit the way it is . mabye you can get the visits to be suppervised by someone that you both trust until you feel safe leaving him alone with the kids. mabye you can talk to the judge and let him know that you do not feel safe with him takeing the kids out of the state and let him know that you would like to take the visits slow untill you feel safe.

well it depends on how well you know this ex. and how well he treats your kids.

That's really hard. Document as much as you can, and make sure you talk to the kids about everything so they are comfortable confiding in you. If you can, get teachers and doctors on your side to watch out for anything that might indicate abuse or neglect or endangerment. If you can gather any evidence at all you might be able to appeal the judge's decision. Good luck.

This is really hard as our children are the most precious things in life. If it were me I would call an attorney and find out if there were any way that I could make his visitation a supervised visitation and absolutely would not allow him to take them out of state. There has to be some kind of free attorneys or discounted attorneys that you could talk with. Where I am from it is called legal aid so you might try searching for that. Also if you have any people who have witnessed anything that has been done see if they would be willing to testify for you or at least write a letter. If you feel this bad about letting your children go with him then I would start searching for ways to stop the visitations.

i do not have kids.. but i wont feel cofortable...