who do you think you are?
By maryannemax
@maryannemax (12156)
Sweden
January 28, 2007 4:51am CST
i posted a topic this morning about starving kids and asking who's to be blamed it. and i got this one response from someone who judged me:
"Well, the government here in the Philippines is really corrupt anyway. A vulcanizer elsewhere wouldn't be making only 100. And as you can see, because of this low pay the couple doesn't have any other past time but hanky panky hahaha... sad fact but these people aren't educated about birth control and so forth...
Anywa, even people who are college educated out here cannot afford to buy a car or a house in their lifetime. Just look at you, you have a foreigner boyfriend... I wonder why."
to tell you (you know who you are anyway), you have no business whatsover to get into my life. to tell you honestly, my boyfriend and i did not automatically went into the relationship. we started out as friends and worked together on our way up. if i can only bring him to you, you'll be ashamed to know that i never even ask for a cent from him. never did i ask and he respected me more.
you judge me because i am from the philippines and you are, too. but i am not a gold digger.
you are a nurse, i am a pharmacist. you earn money, i earn, too. i do take care of my youngest brother with leukemia. yet, i never asked for financial help from my boyfriend. my parents and i work hard for my brother's medicines and needs.
so, who are you to judge me?
and oh, frankly, you are not even worth of my time.
for the knowledge of everybody, i just want to air this one out. in love, there's no impossible even if you two live in both ends of the world.
i can't personally send a private message to this judging nurse since she's not on my friend's list. that's why i want the people to know how rude you are and i hope next time, don't judge other people in an instant.
10 people like this
45 responses
@cheenlly (3476)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Go girl, give that person a lesson. Im with you. If she meet someone like that then she dont generalize all of the filipina in particular. she must be ashamed of herself because she is very judgemental. She must know the person first before judging someone. She must learn the wisdom "do not do unto others what you dont like others do unto you".
5 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
thank you mansha. i won't anymore be bothered now. i have learned my lessons already. thanks again.
to cheenlly, i hope she won't generalize filipinas like she has done to me. i hope that it's enough for her to already hurt one person. and not do it to someone else anymore.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
29 Jan 07
I liked your spirit, but you do not have to justify yourself to anyone and especially to her. You are what you are and no matter what others say, always walk your own path. We have a saying in hindi that means that elephant does not have to change the way he walks even if dog's keep barking at him. I think that sums up what I want to say to you-be the elephant and do not bother about the barking dogs.
@sourgrapes77 (95)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
You GO gurl ^_^ that's the spirit!! Everyone deserves to be respected. Though we have our differences others should know the boundaries of respect. What's the use of being educated persons if we don't act like one. I hope your brother recover from his illness and pray that all will be better for your family. Don't they have a ban or some punishment on mylot for those people who post rude comments?? I hope they come up with one soon.
4 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
28 Jan 07
oh, i don't care. i did not even give her a (-) rating. it's her opinion anyway. i just felt bad that she judged me as if she really knows me. but whatever. i don't care anymore. i just want to let people know that color doesn't matter when it comes to love.
and you are right. everyone deserves to be respected.
4 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
28 Jan 07
meeming, thanks. i have two friends who married foreigners who are like 20 or more years older than them. but they are happy in love and i never criticized their relationships.
i am 28 and my boyfriend's 30. and even if he's older, i will still love him. his personality is so great. thanks again!
4 people like this
@Ashenstar (47)
• United States
28 Jan 07
That was very low of the person to judge you like that. Especially when it sounds like you work so hard! It would have been fine to debate about the topic and the issue about the starving kids in the Philippines, but bringing anything personal was completley unnecessary and totally defeats what I thought the purpose of this board was.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
yep. there are people who do that. which is, i am not like them and i am proud to say that. you;re right. she should have just debated about the topic instead of getting deep into my personal life. that's so full of none sense.
@Ashenstar (47)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Might I add that white women do what that girl accused you of doing all the time, so do black women, and London women, and Arabian women and Mexican women and Japanese women and.....my point is that bringing the race "card" into the whole insult is just terrible and stupid. I know a lot of women here in America who do that all the time..gosh.
1 person likes this
@mishang (498)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
i'm also from the philippines and i think that women here are independent enough and we are strong willed people enough to do things on our own. you go girl! speak out, and that's the way to go, everyone needs to have respect and i think that no one here is in the right position to meddle with the personal things that you are into.
that's right, stand your grounds, and besides, the response as i read, is really out of line, it's really far fetch from the topic that you are raising up.
3 people like this
@jeb083079 (839)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
maybe she wanted to work on two jobs, a judge and a nurse. =D or maybe she's envying you because you're a strong woman capable of helping a younger brother by yourself and your parents. or maybe her boyfriend doesn't look good. =D hmmm, don't mind her, just remember this (i'm not being hypocrite) God will judge her in the end. God will judge what we do here and God knows what to do with her. God bless.
2 people like this
@alchemistrx (2547)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
Hello maryannemax. I have read your discussion about the starving kids and marie shouldn't have said that about you.I feel bad about it too since i'm also a pharmacist like you and I was belittled by some nurses.She should be give a damn business if your boyfriend was a foreigner. Maybe he just envies you because you have happy love life as what i see in your avatar.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
hello. and i am happy that you're a pharmacist, too. not because we hate nurses but atleast, i know that lots of pharmacists are here. i have so many friends who are nurses and they are actually nice. i just don't know that a certain filipina nurse, too (won't tell anything more about her anyway)will look at me that way.
after i have gone through a day and searched in mylot about things, i realized that i am a happy person and that i should stay happy anyway. just sad that people like her are so judgmental. i wonder why. hmmm.. well, i won't tell. i know now why she's like that. and i understand her. i just hope she will have a happy life even if she's so rude and cruel.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
yep. anyway, i hope her the best of luck. and that i hope she gets to be happy in any way.
@alchemistrx (2547)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
Let's just pray for her that she too can share what she have for others especially the starving kids.
@Goranimal (315)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Im not responding to this to judge or say that person was right or wrong, but one thing you need to know, your on an open discussion board and people have there own views weather they agree with you or not, perhaps that person was judging you...so why do you care??? do you know her? no, she's not on your friends list...so why does it matter so much about what a perfect stranger said in a topic you started? Im American and hated by more the half the people on here who dont even know me, does it bother me? no, why should it and why should that comment bother you. If you cant handle someones opinions then you may need to stick with more easy topics that may not offend you so much.
you seem like a sweet person so dont let anyone get to you like that.
1 person likes this
@cruisecontrol2007 (52)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I am sorry you got judged and i happy your bringing this topic up about strarving kids buecause even thou that you live in the your country in america there is alot of childern that go hungry to i know this to be true i work for a place that repersent kids here and i feel we are the main problem why our kids go hungry because we always have to follow laws and red type and do paper work to get things ok.....when it comes to kids there is always someone who know better then next guy and that guy gets to be that the boss over the whole tribe....well i feel we just need to take back what is ours and that is how things are being runned by the bigger guy...if the bigger guy getts what he wants and has why would he help the next guy if he has his 2 cows....i belive in god and living here on this earth only shows me it belongs to him and i find if out if i give everyhing to him he dose give back not the men here on earth but our god is the main key here in this world....you have to trust him when it come to the 3rd worlds and which they don't so god gives what man has caused ....but if you ask god for help he will trust me on this .....go to him for all things.god bless and i'll pray for your country...and also why our kids starve is becuase there are alot of people who don't want to get involved with other people politic's not unless it a war ...was brings in money.....god bless
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
thank you. that's a very nice thought you have given me here and some other members, too.
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
28 Jan 07
rude judgemental people are everywhere. Nobody has the right to judge your life choices. I wouldn't want someone like her being my nurse because she isn't a very good one, she has no empathy.
However, she obviously supports the corrupt government system there as many do all over the world. Every government is corrupt to a point, as is the UN,or therewouldn't be any starving children anywhere. I read somewhere that America alonethrows out enough food that if not for contamination and spoilage would be enough to feed the world's masses . And there are dozens of countries like this, thatbecause of neglegence could feen everyone. I'm a singlewoman and even I could probably feed another person on the foods I throw out each week, if I was just more careful when I cook or store foods. It might not be very healthy, but its enoughto keep somonealive. So, to answer your original question, which i missed, We are all responsiblefor theworlds starving children, simply because we don't make our govrnments share and because we consume too much.
Good luck, and ignore the fools.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
yep. nobody has the right to judge anyone. it's my choice and she has no business in my life. whew! and i know i will continue on stumbling to people like her here. i better be prepared.
@marief2rnurse (2704)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Well, who do you think you are for judging all Filipinos??? I was merely defending them because I am one. You are not going to hear everything nice on here, so you better be prepared. How dare you put Filipinos down that way!
Heck it's true! If it wasn't for the government being so corrupt maybe public schools here wouldn't have 75 or more students per classroom. Anyway even if these people are starving because they have very many kids, they are not depending on the government for anything because there is nothing, no benefits from the government for the poor like that.
You voiced out your opinion on here and so did I. So I'm making no apologies sorry... I could care less about people like you.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
28 Jan 07
oh. i never judge filipinos. i just opened up one real issue here. plus, this does not happen to philippines alone but all over the world. it's just that since i only had been to the philippines, i need to give a bit of an example and be specific.
and oh, by the way, my topic now is about you judging me. please just stick to the topic and nowhere else.
and you can judge me anytime you want to. and well, i am not the only filipina here who felt bad about what you said. there are lots of filipinas who are married to foreigners and we're not just up for the money marie. not all women from the philippines are who you thought they are. and it's okey if you don't feel like apologizing. i know anyway that there are lots of people just like you. i just hope that people won't judge you one day. have a great day anyway!
@abhishekkaushik (327)
• India
28 Jan 07
corrution is there everywhere man but what an ordinary ppl like u and me can do..
@kopitalisme (152)
• Indonesia
29 Jan 07
I am ordinary people too, but there is always that ´ordinary´ people can do. The easiest way, is ´to laugh about it´... For example, please visit one of my blog http://karikatour.blogspot.com
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
I would also be aghast if i receive the same response as you did. Maybe she wantS to marry a foreigner and no foreigner would take her...LOL...seriously, most of us filipinos have this prejudice about women who marry foreigners. But lets also take a look at the other side of the coin why most foreigners want to marry a filipina. Most of them find filipinas, regardless of education, to be caring & loyal spouses whom they think might not mind taking care of them. Its a reality that many of those who marry a foriegner might be after a better life but they dont actually go into it without feeling some degree of affection. If the needs of both parties were met in entering into such kind of marriage, what's so bad about that and who are we to judge?... also i have friends who are professionals too and who are very successful and have foreigner husbands or boyfriends. they are not after one cent of the foriegners money and one of them is even richer than the foriegner. so for those who judge filipinas who marry foriegner,....you are just envious and may have issues about your life.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
well, you have a point and you really hit something there which is a fact. but i won't stress much on what it is since i might hurt that person who hurt me before. and i don't want to hurt her as well. i had moved on already and accepted the fact that there will always be people around like her. i just hope that she won't hurt and judge other people the way she judged me. i just hope that people know someone else better and look further before judging a person's life. you take care cdparazo and have a nice day!
@yorb24 (2179)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Well I definitely would take offense from this. You can't judge someone like that, you actually have to KNOW them before making any kind of call like that. I have a little personal experience with this. My mother is pilipino and my father is white or what would be considered a foreigner in the Philippines. I know many people thought my mother was with my dad for different reasons. Some people being relatives from my dad's family but she proved them wrong. They've been married now for almost 34 years. Out of my dad's siblings, they have been married the longest:)
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
i feel happy about your parents. i hope for the best to two of them.
that's my point. i am not the only one she hurt by posting that response. i know that she's welcome to have her views aired in here because this is a free discussion site. my point was she should stick to the discussion and not get too personal about me. i mean, i did not ask for any advice about my lovelife in that particular discussion. so, i found her out of line. and many people from the philippines reacted to her response. and i understand them. just like you. we all find it very offensive.
@chocobaby (677)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
she's not worth of your time girl. she must be unhappy with her life and she must be envious seeing you look happy in your pic with your bf. so she has to express it and try to give you a bad time. forget that bum.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
yep. i already forget about her and what she has said to me. although it really hurt me. life goes on. and that's what i am holding on to.
@klystron635 (1519)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
I was intrigue on your discussion. I saw the Philippines word and I am from that country so I got curious. Whoever that nurse is doesn't have a good upbringing. It's a good thing you are explaining your side. I do agree with you that people shouldn't judge other in an instant. I am really ashamed on how he degrades the Philippines. It is a sad truth but why does he makes it worst. He should try to solve the problem instead of being an added problem.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
yep. thanks. what i don't understand is that i wasn't asking about my relationship with my boyfriend at all. it was truly out of the topic. and yet, she brought it up by trying to insult me. that so hurtful.
@azriel (2107)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
oh, ok, i have been a bit enlightened by our nurse. browsing through her topics,(as i am curious as to why she had said what she said) i think i know where she was coming from. it seems that she WAS looking for a foreigner boyfriend, and purposely seeking them out. maybe she thought that your reason for having a foreigner boyfriend is the same with hers, whatever that is.
just look at it this way: if she had judged you for having a foreigner boyfriend, we can just all assume what it is that she's really after from her "future" (as apparently she's still single) boyfriends. i pity the guy(s).
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
30 Jan 07
yep. i looked through her profile as well and gone through her discussions. and honestly, i do understand why he judged me like that. you're right. but i will not talk much about her since now,i've proven to myself that i am .... well, hard to say. but thanks! now, you know, too why she's like that.
@fake_you (391)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
yeah! speak your mind. don't let a person like that ruin our reputation as Filipinos. she could've been ashamed of being a filipino - well, our country doesn't like him/her either! we are all the same here, and it's not right to jusr judge people that way. she's just probably comparing you to herself because she does it. go girl!
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
oh. maybe so. i won't comment about her. she might think that i am trying to pull her down. i just let her be who she wants to be.
@stefan_diego (556)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
it's just plain sad to hear about it. and to think she's also from the same country? You definitely earn my respect for standing up for yourself. Person like the one you just said doesn't deserve one. No matter how much they earn.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
yep. money is just money. dignity is always better than money. i might earn a little compared to someone else's earnings. but i don't feel ashamed of what i do. and that i know my conscience is clean. and so, i am happy.
