When you have a spoilt child.....

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I have three sons as i have explained on here before i have difficulties bonding with my middle son who is 4. I have been noticing behaviour in our house lately. If my sons are playing on the xbox then my middle son wants to change games he screams to his father about it and hubby goes running in to change the game! Whilst my other son playing who is 8 will be left angry that his brother yet again has got his own way. This is just an example of this but it happens all the time over anything at all. T.v shows, games, clothes, toys, sweets, just anything. I am fed up because when i try to put my foot down my hubby thinks i am mental!! I am hurting because one child is spoilt and one is neglected. This morning the youngest two sons got up at 5am, hubby got up gave them breakfast and after a while returned to bed, then my eldest got up and baring in mind it was still only 5:45am the little ones were being noisey and running wild, my eldest felt unwell so got up gave him some medicine and marched all three of them back to bed, telling them it was way too early to be up and screaming around the house. What must the neighbours think!! Hubby thought i was wrong to put them back to bed....but they slept for about an hour and then got up at a better time!! I call it 'using the force' i don't smack them or anything but i lay down the bounderies and i am firm that they will stick to them, My hubby on the other hand lets the little ones get away with murder and my eldest cops the blame for them! I am fed up how can i explain to hubby that he is riuning our kids lives??