Do you ever avoid discussions because they are too "deep"?
By blueskies
@blueskies (1186)
United States
January 28, 2007 4:58pm CST
Some people might call me shallow, but I have become this way out of self-preservation.
In the past, I have eagerly delved into discussions revolving around compelling topics that would set my pulse racing and my thoughts into a furious frenzy that would quickly outpace my typing ability.
However, as I spent more time on the internet, I began to realize that becoming so deeply involved was having a negative effect on my life. I would become so engrossed in the topic at hand that I would neglect duties in "real life". If one of my children tried to get my attention, I would shush them until I finished out my online debate.
For this reason, I made a conscious decision to stay out of controversial or emotion-stirring discussions as much as possible. I respect the people that are able to participate in such discussions and then "turn off" to go back to life as normal. Unfortunately, I seem to lack that ability.
So, before you judge someone for responding to only "light" topics, think about your posting style. Do you have similar issues or are you able to separate things better than I?
24 people like this
107 responses
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
28 Jan 07
Hahaha my friend, you know me by now I will actually seek out deep topics to reply to. In many ways, for me, it is a great stimulation to do it. For the first time in years I feel as though i am using my mind again. How great it is to be able to hold an adult conversation
5 people like this
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
28 Jan 07
I agree Eskarena. I am here for that reason. I love the idea of being able to stay at home and debate courteously, intelligently and honestly with like-minded and opposite-minded people. I haven't always agreed with you, but I appreciate your comments.
@misskatonic (3723)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I get embroiled in a lot of deep discussion, but I don't judge other people for what they respond to. We all respond to what interests us and what we want to talk about, and we all have our different tastes. The world would be a very boring place if we all held the same interests, after all. And you have a very good reason for not getting into deep discussions!
5 people like this
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
28 Jan 07
Blueskies, it is a pleasure to read your posting. You are the type of person - or should I say, your writing is the type of writing - that I and others look for in discussions.
It is very stimulating to take part in "deep" debates in a courteous way and I think you would contribute much to these.
I can understand, of course, your predicament. Children should always have priority. I do hope you can find a way to continue in the deeper discussions, maybe limiting yourself to one at a time.
3 people like this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Wow, thank you for the kind words. I will indulge myself in the occassional emotionally-charged topic, but keep the bulk of my postings to the more benign subjects, as that works best for me :)
1 person likes this
@irisheyes (4370)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I could not agree with you more. I find myself sometimes almost crazed trying to think my way through deep discussion after deep discussion. I recently posted something about why I think the "survey questions" everybody else seems to despise are sometimes a welcome respite. Maybe other brains are stronger than mine and they can take the pounding but I frankly can't. Maybe I'm shallow also but sometimes I just want to have a little fun on here!
3 people like this
@moonmagick (1458)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I tend to enter into discussions where I feel that I have something worthwhile to add. If I have no idea, or have never experienced it I limit myself to reading and possibly learning a thing or two. For me that is what this site is about, not making money. I am here for the discussions and to exchange ideas and experiences with other people. I have found myself in a discussion or two that irritate me and I just feel the need to try and prove my point, but when it gets to that point, I just walk away from it, and either come back later when feeling more rational, or chalk it up as a battle I choose not to pick. Like I have been arguing with a poster for a couple of days about how woman are not genetically disposed to be terrible at math. She just keeps repeating the same thing over and over. I figure without an open mind, there is no reason to even try to have a discussion with her about it. And now I am rambling. LOL.
3 people like this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
29 Jan 07
LOL--- I can relate to your difficulty with that poster. Her style of debating is to try to beat you into submission by repeating the same thing over and over again. She knows that if she is stubborn enough, the opposition will give up in disgust. There's really no defense against that type of dirty debating.
2 people like this
@vicky1 (240)
• United States
29 Jan 07
When I leave here or any other forum I leave it there. There is only one forum that I have been there about two years and it is small. We have become friends. We have phone numbers and call each other when things go wrong.
Me I am easy going I don't care what people post about. I am not in thier shoes. I see where it upsets people if they don't know how to spell evan. And I sit back and think why does that make you upset. They don't know if they were in some kind of specail ed and that is the best they can do. Or people gripe if thier English is not the greatest. But at least they are trying.
So I think people should be able to post light discussions if thats what they feel comfortable with. And those that don't like it don't have to responed to the topic.
3 people like this
@rainbow (6761)
•
29 Jan 07
Hi-ya, hope you are ok today!
I am sure you are not shallow and avoid some of the deep ones as I find myself worrying about them afterwards.
I stick to things I know or my friends discussions although I sometimes save discussions till I have a chance to think, usually special needs ones, I have one saved now as I need to re-read it and think before I reply or I will not be helping. Maybe I won't even be then, who knows? I try. When it's about our kids it's different.
I don't really do political as I don't understand well enough.
1 person likes this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I actually have to hold back a bit on the special-needs topics, as well as topics on children in general. They are a hot-button topic for me. We have had a lot of negative experiences with "the system" regarding our son.
@tigrashadow (1086)
• Australia
28 Jan 07
i do what many others do, and respond when i feel the urge or the need to respond.
the fact that you are putting your family first is something that everyone should do really, to me online is only secondary to real life things...it shouldnt be your first priority.
we also arent dictated by what discussions we should reply to, so if people are judging you for wanting to stick to the lighter topics thats their issue not yours. you know you are doing the right thing for you and your family so stick with it proudly.
i personally dont have many distractions myself like resasour but if i have appointments or friends coming over or something then they come first and online is ignored for a while.
3 people like this
@snowflake5 (1579)
• United States
29 Jan 07
It depends on what the discussion is about. I'm happy to discuss politics, but I won't discuss religion as I feel religion is not open to reason, so pointless trying to debate it!
My favourite discussions though are on ordinary stuff - problems motivating ourselves doing the housework or relationship problemsm the stuff of ordinary life.
2 people like this
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I usually only avoid conversations for 2 reasons. 1 is if I have no clue what they are talking about. The other eason is if I have absolutely no interest in it. I try to not waste what time I spend on here.
3 people like this
@sweetlady10 (3611)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I want to avoid real deep topic because they cause stress for me most of the time. I am here to enjoy my time not to feel stressed. So most of the time I avoid very deep discussion.
3 people like this
@resasour (378)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I post to things that move me to answer. I am lucky to not have too many distractions, but when i do i just get up walk away, do what i need to do then come back and re-read whatever I had been working on to get my train of thought back.
I could not be a very light poster because I look at some of the lighter topics and they just don't spark my interest.
@Pekachu (1112)
• United States
29 Jan 07
i will read the whole discussion and then really not have anything to add either because i totally believe the opposite of what they are saying and dont want to offend or because they said it all and i dont have anything more to add i too dont want to always get involved with debates and go for the lighter discussions i have enough going on in my life that i dont need conflict when im online i use the internet as a way to relax
2 people like this
@mainman195 (186)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Wow! I would never avoid a too deep conversation unless it is with one of those boring persons who think that unless they use every obscure piece of jargon they don't sound intellectual. I always enjoy a conversation that either stretches my thought processes or enhances my understanding of a difficult subject. I'm not sure that I always like controversy unless I start it. Passion, however, is a different subject. Exciting topics that get me cranking are my cup of tea. I really like the ones that I can chew on for several days.
As far as separation, I don't believe that I have that problem. Although, I have been known to not know when I've adequately covered the topic and keep on rambling. I do prefer deep when it's not online but in person.
2 people like this
@selina0625 (1379)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
When I choose a topic, I don't choose if it's a controversy or a topics that are just for fun...I choose topics that I know I could respond to.I don't have issues with separating myself with the internet when I need to. I just do this for fun, for diversion and also for an extra income. My first priority of course is my kid. You may need to set your priorities right. Our children are the most important thing in ourlives.I don't think it's right to make them wait just because of Mylot.Mylot is a great community and also a great opportunity but our own lives in the real world should be our first priority.
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I agree with you completely. That's why I post to the topics that I do and pass others by.
@MrNiceGuy (4141)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I do not shy away from controversy. I try to speak my mind and present topics and ideas and facts about everything, particularly when I think people are being misled.
I can understand where you are coming from though, sometimes i get engrossed in my psoting and take it personally which negatively affects my relationships with the community.
1 person likes this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I've enjoyed reading your postings on controversial topics. I often read them, I just don't comment ;)
@dragontester (570)
• Switzerland
28 Jan 07
Nope.. The deeper the discussion, the better one would understand about it. There is no way, you will learn from escaping situations in life. So, better thing is to face it with a calm and cool head. Although this might not be possible always, we can try to do it as much as we can.
1 person likes this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
29 Jan 07
But see, I don't HAVE to face situations on the internet. I can choose whether or not to engage. That's the beauty of it all.
@fieryeyedwriter (614)
• United States
7 Feb 07
So far I have not limited my responses to any certain category. I would like to think that I will continue to post to all types of discussions. But I guess only time will tell.
1 person likes this
@LadyMooreSabb (335)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I too am skeptical when it comes to certain topics of discussion. I believe it is because many times my pattern of thought seems too complexed to even begin to attempt trying to relay my thoughts to the those reading the comments. I am a tender hearted person and I tend to lean toward supporting the underdog. I also firmly feel that I owe it to myself and the reader to have the full benefit of trying to see things my way. I will admit when a valid point is made but I feel incomplete if my voice is not accurately represented.
1 person likes this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I like all kinds of discussions. I do understand about getting so engrossed that you are not even aware of the world around you. I do that. I have decided that I have to limit my self so that I dont spend all night on here.
1 person likes this
