arranged marriage
By ag_abscruzmd
@ag_abscruzmd (2283)
United States
January 28, 2007 9:27pm CST
I would like to know if you believe in arranged marriages and if they work well for the parties involved. You see, I know a lot of people whose marriages have been arranged by their parents and I saw the love grow from there. It is so amazing how up to now, the marriage is still on--and successful at that (a friend of mine, a Muslim now has 8 kids and her marriage was arranged when she was 14)! But look at the couples whose marriages were out of their own choice (without parental intervention).. need I say more?
3 responses
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
I think arranged marriages are succesful too, mainly because they view it as a responsibility. And parents choose the best partner for their childrens. Like in the chinese culture, they have to match chinese zodiac and characters to assure the harmony of the marriage. And yes, unfortunately you have a point marriages made out of our own choice end up sometimes badly. And you know the saying of some, "If I only listened to my parents...." (^^,LOL)
1 person likes this
@ag_abscruzmd (2283)
• United States
9 Apr 07
It's cultural really, as I've just learned. Thus, arranged marriages do work well in certain countries with cultures that put a big impact on parental decisions because they (parents) would usually or normally know what's best or who's best for their offsprings. Thanks so much for the response!
@ChaJudLeoBit (1656)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I couldn't imagine being in an arranged marriage. But I do feel that they can be successful due to the fact that the children are raised into that. The women are raised to believe that her job is to take care of and please her husband, providing many children. ANd the husband is the breadwinner and protector. But in countried where women have equal rights and equal say in their lives, an arranged marriage wouln't work. I'd never want to have someone else tell me who I have to marry. I want to be with someone I love with all my heart before, and not someone my parents thought would be benificial for the families. All the marriages that don't work out are just because people make bad choices. And they have the choice to get out. Do people in arranged marriages have that choice?
1 person likes this
@ag_abscruzmd (2283)
• United States
9 Apr 07
You're right, it's also the 'womanhood' factor. I never thought of that! Thanks for bringing this up. It's like saying that in certain cultures, women were brought up to believe in certain marriage customs that would of course work for them because they tend to abide to these. Whereas in countries who have women who were 'transformed' to be in the same level as men would believe otherwise. Thanks for sharing and happy myLotting!
@ChaJudLeoBit (1656)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Yeah, women have a very stong independance streak. If my parent's told me I HAD to marry a certain guy, I'd make sure I married the total opposite... (I hope you aren't reading this, Mom!!)
@Pluntt (232)
• United Arab Emirates
9 Apr 07
well i guess it is more a matter of luck. However it does go back to the phrase "mother knows best". I guess in an arranged marrage you accept one another and that you k now you are going to have to be with each other. So why not make each it easier for one another. in doing so they may have better lives. On the otherhand you have marriage out of choice you always have that option to leave because you wouldnt be going against your family or anything and thus it is an easy way out. For example if a problem arises in both marraiges i think both groups will try to work it out. However if it gets too bad the arranged marraige will have no choice but to sit it out, may take a while but afterwards the relatinship will only be stronger. In the marriage out of choice has this problem if it gets to bad it will just terminate it. I live in an arab society (although im british) and see many arranged marriages. Alot of the times they can have multiple wives aswell and the first one tends to be arranged and after that all the others are out of choice.
cheers
Plunt
1 person likes this
@ag_abscruzmd (2283)
• United States
9 Apr 07
This is a very interesting response, and also a very good insight into the two kinds of marriages. You must be right, arranged marriages work because "they're supposed to work", unlike in free-choice marriages wherein there's also the free choice to divorce, legally separate or just simply go on separate ways, because it's one's choice to start with, anyway. Thus, society, religion and parental decisions exert a lot of influence in arranged marriages, so they should work. Thanks, Pluntt! Happy myLotting!
