Would you sleep with a close friend's son or daughter?

A very thoughtful response and you read me perfectly. The reason I don't think this is a good forum is that there are restrictions on the time expended, not meeting one to one etc and generalising. But as long as I got the message across to some extent as an avenue for thought and discussion I'm happy.

Hi. Actually I think this is exactly the forum for this type of discussion. If you feel that men are acting innapropriately with respect to younger women, then you have an opportunity to express that view and perhaps influence both the young women and older men in that situation in a way that makes them look at themselves and what they are doing differently. I am not saying they would change, but in some cases they may examine their motives. I don't think in all cases it is about control, but I also don't think you were saying that. Just as a general observation. Thanks for contributing.

I am 17 (45-28) years the senior in my relationship of 4 years with a woman I in no way feel the need to control. I don't believe age to be a factor here. It's a matter of whether one would be comfortable in an intimate relationship with a friends son or daughter. I would not. I would hope my friends would feel the same way about my daughters. I would have noproblem with my daughter dating, seeing whatever a man 15 years older. I would have a problem if it were my best friend.

Hi! It's good to see you here. In what way is it like incest?

I appreciate your comment but don't quite understand it. Imagine being say 40 years old. Lets say at work you meet a nice young man or young woman in their early twenties. You strike a friendship etc turns to romance and although there is an age difference the younger person does not have a problem with it. Later you find out that the person is the son or daughter of someone you know quite well. Do you break up for that reason, or do you continue with the relationship and hope your friend can deal with it. I am not sure how this qualifies as abuse. I have seen many relationships with largish age differences that worked quite well. I am not saying it is my cup of tea, but the question here I am posing is one of morality. The abuse bit I don't understand.

I totally agree with you.

That's quite funny. I agree that it would be a bit Springer, but I have seen in real life Springier things than this happen so I felt the need to put the question to the community. Cheers and thanks for contributing.

I'd guarantee a friend would have trouble. We all need to protect our children, and its hard enough dealing with the fact they are going to have relations with someone some day, much less finding out it is a friend. Alternately, a friend is someone we know very well. My son or daughter if they are in their twenties would need to learn about love and relationsips. It is possible a friend would be good for this. But in general I agree with most of the mylot members that it would be a difficult and possibly damaging thing. I am not in the position and not condoning it, but I am also not putting an outright label of it being wrong. Thank you for posting.

I completely agree and if you read the posts I have made, I have clarified that the people in the scenario I have put forward are both single and adults. I have never condoned and I doubt that I would ever condone someone being unfaithful to their spouse regardless of their religion or lack there of. A promise made to God is a promise that is also made to one's spouse. Faithfullness is usually a vow and probably should not be open to interpretation.

for those reading this post, although I don't have to defend myself, I will make the comment that the post was to explore the moral compass of the community. It isn't because of any action I have taken or intend to take. It came to my mind while thinking about the post asking if 15 years was too much of an age difference.

please read some of my replies to other posts. There would be many instances where this scenario isn't a kill yourself issue. For example if the people involved were say 50 and 30 years old. Unless you consider Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to be some sort of crime? Their age difference is close to fifteen years I believe. If you would rather kill yourself than find yourself interested in a friend's son or daugter then that is up to you. Note though that every person you will ever be interested in is someone's son or daughter. If you marry them then become friends with their parents, is that really that different to being friends with their parents first?

What if your friend respects you and feels that their adult single son or daughter would benefit from being in a relationship with you? Is that still betrayal? If all parties consent, is that betrayal? If everyone were happy about the situation is that betrayal? I only put this forward to suggest that a statement that in all cases it is wrong or immoral is probably going too far. I would suggest that each case should be judged on its own merits. If you read the other posts you will see that I have added that this is only a scenario for discussion and does not represent anything I have ever done or necessarily intend to do. Thanks for contributing. Cheers

(a) how can you call everyone´s answer "nonsense thoughts" (b) who mentioned religion and (c) what if the "child" in question is 30 years old and a friend of her mother or father happened to fall in love with her? Maybe the parent likes the person, trusts the person and approves so what´s the big deal? People don´t choose who they attract, fall in love with or want to sleep with? Personally, if it happened and I was attracted to a close friend´s child (I mean son or daughter, not young child obviously!) then... I guess we´d both go with what seemed right to us.

I agree Victoria7. I understand and accept that religion is important to many people, and the basis for what they believe to be wrong and right. I have no issue with that. But the thing I have noticed in the responses to my post is the level of assumption that is made about the people involved in the scenario. As you said, someone can be someone's daughter and be thirty years old. Never have I mentioned or implied that the son or daughter in question was underage. My post was to explore how people felt about their friends. What if your thirty year old daughter came home with a fifty year old stranger. Is that automatically and somehow better than the same young woman falling for a 50 year old friend of the family. Someone who is perhaps known, trusted and respected. I am not saying that a situation such as this is common. I am not saying that it should be approved of in all situations. I am also not saying that it should be disapproved of in all situations. I thank everyone for their posts to explore this issue of morality.

Of course willing. This scenario in no way includes a person forcing themselves on someone else. That would be sick and a crime. No I mean that she or he likes you, you like them. Would you try to stop the relationship from occuring because your friend would freak out. Would you feel responsible to not go through with it because of the age difference? Thanks for commenting. I am interested to know what people think.

My thoughts too in some ways. Women in their very early twenties often seem more like someone's kid than as a possible partner. yet, every day, men and women all over the world fantasize about a younger person in their life either romantically or sexually. (please be aware I am still talking about adults in all cases and consider people thinking about children in this way as having a mental illness)