Grandmother doesn't like my daughter :(
By XxAngelxX
@XxAngelxX (2830)
Canada
January 29, 2007 7:29am CST
I am the mother of three children, ages 12, 8 and 7. My mother who lives with us (she has an apartment in the basement) makes it quite clear she favours the two youngest over the older one. She even said to me at one point that she did not like my oldest daughter. My daughter is old enough now that she notices this and has commented to me about it before. It broke my heart to hear her say Grandma doesn't like me. She likes my brother and sister more. I have tried talking to my mother and explaining the reason my eldest acts the way she does is because my mother makes it quite obvious that she doesn't really want to have anything to do with my oldest. My oldest talks back to her and is quite nasty at times with her grandmother, but I think this is a learned behaviour from being exposed to the way her grandmother treats her. My mom is constantly harrassing her about the mess in her room (which is not just the oldest's room, she shares with my youngest and they both make equal mess), or about her behaviour, or the music she listens to. My question is not what to do about my mother, but what to tell my daughter when she comes to me wanting to know why her grandmother treats her this way.
3 people like this
3 responses
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
29 Jan 07
First I think I would try to understand that I understand her behaviour in being upset with her grandmother but that she should never talk back to her as this will only make the problem worse and she should try to respect her elders even if it is hard as in life we always run into people we have to work with that we don't like but we still have to be respectful of them or we will end up looking for a new job . Then I would try to explain to her that she has done nothing wrong and that some people are just like this but we don't know why . I would make sure my daughter knew she wasn't doing anything any different then the other children and therefore shouldn't be too hard on herself when she knows her grandmother doesn't like her .
I wish I knew more to offer as I feel really bad for your daughter , I grew up knowing my grandmother didn't like me and today don't speak to her at all . In my view it is her loss not mine as she has great grandchildren she will never get to see .
Just keep reinforcing to her that not everyone likes everyone in life and although this is quite a blow to a child that she has done nothing to deserve the treatment she is recieving so she doesn't end up thinking she has done something so terrible that people don't like her for her .
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
29 Jan 07
Thanks for the comment. It's just hard to watch it happen :( and know there is very little I can do about it.
@linzmcwilliams (1552)
•
3 Feb 07
This must be quite upsetting for you and your daughter. Maybe you could try asking your daughter to attempt to be a little nicer to her Grandmother, even if she doesn't receive the same curtsy in return. I think she need to find out exactly what your Mothers problem is with your child. Perhaps you could just flat out ask her how to rectify it? If that doesn’t work your daughter needs to know that it is not her fault and not everyone in life will love you or even like you.
@navikh333 (529)
• India
3 Feb 07
one way to attract your grandma towards your oldest daughter is to make your oldest daughter always be with your granny,let her be helping her,even if your granny says no.
try this it may workout.
finally your granny may feel sorry for what she did
all tha best
