What is considerd work...having a paying job or taking care of the house?

Hi wiky, I completely agree with this, all guys needs to help thier partners in household chore incliuding taking care of babies. I used to do cookin n washing n all to help my wife b4 but now a days i cant coz i work at nights n the time when she is cookin or cleaning i just cant stay awake.. but i still wud do watever i cud to make her happy

Well my opinion regarding this situation and I happen to be a stay at home mom, is that is the job that you chose and I don't think that he should help around the house if he is working 7 days a week. I do think that he should be able to pick up after himself, meaning that he should be able to find the laundry hamper and place his clothes in it rightside out. He should be able to rinse his dishes and place them in the dishwasher. I think that he should be ale to take out the trash on his way out the door. As for the heavy day to day stuff, I think not. Do you go to his job and help him out there? Now the kids are a different subject, I believe that both parents should share in the responsibility of the raising of the kids, however that said it is usually one parent doing more of the rearing of the kids do to eaches job responsibilities outside of the house. Which means that moms for the most part do the majority of the child rearing. Face it were better at it in most cases anyway. Although I now many wonderful fathers who are equally involved and some that are more involved than the moms. You just have to find what works for you. As for waiting on some one hand and foot that is just plain taking advantage of another. By that I mean that if he asks for something to drink while your in the kitchen I think that you should bring it to him, if you are siting down on the couch relaxing for the first time all day and he asks for something to drink then you should be able to say that,"I'm sorry I'm relaxing now." And he should accept that. That's my 2 cents on the subject. Agree or disagree it's just my opinion.

Even you would have a payed job they would be waiting for you to do almost everything in the house. I have a payed job, i'm the main income in the house, and i'm also doing all the domestic stuff and domestic finances and still everybody expect me to do everything for them: Cleaning, cooking, take care of the baby, take care of the dog and of course working 8, sometimes 9 hours a day out of home and driving and picking the kids at school. Dont ask me how i can manage it because i also dont know, i just keep doing to keep my family in a good shape. But i can tell you, i'm really tired, sometimes i just want to stay in bad and sleep for days (something i've never done). Thus, is not because you're having a domestic work at home that they wait for you to do domestic stuff, is because you're a woman.... Good luck and try to change their minds.... I couldnt!

Actually, no i dont think it is fair that men try to use they work as an excuse not to do any work around the house. I work out side the home, I cook, I clean, I feed the dogs and cat, tend to the kids, do the laundry, babbysit my neice 5 days a week. being a stay at home mom though is equal to having to full time jobs. My husband knows that if he doesnt help out his thing wont get washed inthe wash, i wont gather his clothes and if trash is overflowing and he tells the kids to do it and they have already done their work for the day I will simply state what have you contributed to the house today.. He dont like that and usually says I worked all day.. my response is and......... hahah so no it isnt fair.families work togather as just that .. a familyit isnt one provides the moeny and the other takes care ov everything else.. It just dont work that way

No............it's not only unfair but also selfish and rude when a man comes home and tells his wife or fiance to make him a proper meal or if he complains that the house is not spotless.. It's just foolish to think that when a man work's outside the house it's considered hard work and when a woman does the same inside the house it's a pleasure and she is in comfort.. You know i have realised one thing in time that throughout the universe every country will be independant and have their freedom except for us woman.. .. It's nevr the end of labour.. Let it be husband, children, in-law's or the world outside we are always expected to do more.. is'nt it pathetic..

I'm glad that i'm not the only one that feels this way. Everytime my hubby and i start fussing, be brings up the fact that we works and makes the money. I told him that if he stayed home all week long with three kids, and picked up after them, cooked, cleaned, and everything else that had to be done he would go nutts. I seriouly think he needs to change places for a week, so he really knows where i'm coming from. I'm tired at the end of the day, just like he is.

Taking care of house is the real work.NO retirement.365/24/7 routine.

yes , this is fair for guys .

Obviously, both should be considered work! but it really is unfair for some people to think that we stay-at-home moms do not work. Like a lot of people have said already, we work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no days off and no vacations and sick leaves. even when the family is on vacation, you'd still be working right? taking care of the kids and the hubby, packing, unpacking, etc. etc. etc. there's no monetary compensation, and, apparently for some, their efforts are not recognized and appreciated either. I know we stay-at-home moms (and dads) are not doing this for the money. this is our labor of love. but we do want a little appreciation, right? I hope your hubby gets to read all the replies to your discussion and, hopefully, understands what you're doing for your family.

My husband does absolutely nothing when he comes home. He lays on couch. I have to take trash out, unplug drains, etc. There are times when he cooks a bit, when he feels like it and puts salt in the water conditioner, but that's it. He tells me all the time that he works 12 hours a day, which he does, but he acts like I do nothing.

I don't think it is fair for them to use it as an excuse, but I think we might as well get used to hearing it. Both me and my husband work, I come home and start in on the housework, laundry, gettting the kids to do homework, dinner. If I say I could use some help, I hear "I worked all day".

It shouldn't be an excused. It might be true that he works 8 or 9 hrs a day 7 days a week, but just a you reasoned out, you work much harder but without pay. Its not that your complaining its just that your looking for some sense of consideration from your partner.

no of course, it is not an excuse for the guys to help in the house because as u do want and enjoy what you're doing u will not even think of it as a work. you'll think of it an opportunity for u to show your care for your family.

I definitely think that working around the house is real work. I think that whoever is living in the house can help out with the chores. If one person works outside the home, and the other person stays at home, then of course I think it's fair for whoever is at home to take care of most of the household chores, but that doesn't mean that the other person can just sit and do nothing. If both of you work outside the home, then you should definitely have equal chores around the house. Either way, I think it's really rude and disrespectful to just sit and make the other person do everything for you.

No, its not fair. Housework and raising kids is a never ending job, it would be nice to be compensated for it. Or at least be helped with it!

well yes i could see this as a viable excuse. doing what you do, is an option..you dont have to stay home and cook, clean and what not..and he doesnt have to go out and work everyday...these are both choices that you 2 make. You choose to stay home and we a housewife, and what you have chosen is what i would consider a job/duty..you have taken up cleaning and cooking as your job. Granted he should pick up after himself..you shouldnt have to wait on him or anyone hand and foot like that...but yes him not helping due to the fact that hes been at work for 8 hours is viable..cause that whole time hes been at work for 8 hours was 8 hours you could have been working (and if someone cant get all that done in 8 hours your not managing your time right)

I don't think it's fair to treat us stay at home women or dad differently just because we're home , we're still working , not paid , no breaks , no days off,our days are much harder then theirs , . They have to help out , We put a schedule me and hubby so we can do the rest of the chores together , it's fun and lifts a weight off my shoulder

i'd have to say that 90 percent of people who stay at home have this problem. i am currantly on maturnity leave and i do all the work around the house. laundry,dishes.sweeping, mopping , dusting, picking up after my husband and the many people who come in and out of our house in the run of a day. etc.... even before when me and my husband were both working i was still the one who had to do all the housework when i got home from work. when i had my baby i had a c- section and was in the hospital for 4 days. when i came home from the hospital i found the supper dishes from 4 days ago still on the table. dirty laundry spread throughout the house and i had to clean it all up. even with stitches across my stomach. but n two weeks i go back to work and my husband currantly got layed off so he will be home with the baby which makes me nervous because he can't even pick up after himself let alone watch a 10 month old baby.

I don't think so.All guys are lazy about the housework,I hate their attitude about those.Maybe they should spend more energy to share housework.

Well, with all the bon-bons, and soap operas that we stay-at-home women have, as well as Sven the pool guy and our daily massages from Hanz, who could possibly call it work? LOL-yeah, your guy needs to grow up a little and realize that you are not there to serve him. Good luck!