why i was that ?

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sometimes ,i hate my self ,because i always havent my own ideals ,it makes me feel empty ,when something happen, i always hope the friends can make me better ,when they dont or they cant feel my feeling ,i wil be more upsad ,i dont want to be like this ,may be it because i take myself more attention ,just nothing ,maybe will be more relax . i want to be dependt,so i can live in myself ,and dont be sad for something that not important ,so that i may have a new self and new life . oh ,yeah ,that is it ! what do you think yourself? be courage,try to say something .