I'm Not Moving to Florida

This is very sad. I'm sorry to hear about how your daughter is treating you. Sometimes children don't realize how much they are hurting their parents and you are the only one she has now. I would give her some time to cool down from the words exchanged. Even though she may not realize, she needs you in her life and in her son's life. Just by your words you want and need them in your life. Don't worry time heals all even though it may not be forgotten. I know your daughter and you will be together soon!

Im truly sorry to hear this. I come from a really hard time in life like you and your daughter. The one thing I found was my mom was the most important thing to me and I could never disrespect her in the way your daughter did to you. I understand you had problems that might of affected her in the long run but there's no reason in making you feel any worst then you already do. You can't change time or go back in time which we all wish we could do soemtimes but your daughter is got to forgive and forget or you guys will always have a rocky relationship. Your daughter does have one thing right and thats family is more important then anything. I really do hope all works out for you and your daughter in the future but if not you can always adopt ME!lol Hang in there tommorow is another day.

I am so sorry to hear this and the issues that have happened with you and your daughter and her losing her husband. Maybe she is feeling depressed and scared. Sometimes people say or do things that they do not mean when they are feeling down or upset about something. I know that I have said and done weird things before when I was depressed. I can certainly understand where you are coming from too as it had to hurt tremendously for you to read that comment from your own daughter. It sounds like she is making you out to be the bad parent, though it was not you. I hope she did not mean what she said and that you two can talk more and be together.

{{hugs}} Birthlady my heart goes out to you as well as my shoulder..I'm sorry you are going through this especially after all you've been through over the yrs....Give it time and maybe she'll be able to talk (actually talk AND listen) about it with you..i realize your heart is breaking and I would be surprised if it wasnt in all honesty but try to stay strong....You've already made it through so much and because of that you know that patience and strength are key...see where I'm goin with this....Stay strong not only in yourself but also in the fact that you know the truth and you really dont know what she was told over the yrs and be patient....she is going through a very trying and I imagine confusing time right now..losing a parent makes you look back on things and she may be feeling very out of place, lost and confused right now ya know...be patient and give her some time.. {{{hugs to you}}}

well i think that you should realy go and see her face to face. i know that my mom and i had problems for years we disowned each other from the time i was 12 to 18 we are not on talking terms and friends again. we will never be as close as me and my grandma but every little bit helps. let by gones be by gones and start new be open with her and ask her to be open with you. tell her you want to start fresh and that the past is no mater. i am glad that my mom and i have done this. now my father i have not met my parents devoiced when i was very young.

Let me hold your hand. In many ways I can understand what you are saying. I have had experiences that are not like yours, but in some ways are very similar when dealing with adult children. I won't go into them as it is you who needs the help and the healing time. I do hope that you have not given up the place that you are now living in and that you are able to afford it. Do neither of you have a telephone? Is there no way that you can actually talk with each other and exchange words other than via the internet? It would make it so much easier that way. The best thing that I can say at this point is to try to stay calm, remember that you are her mother and that you love her. This is the most important thing. Even when our children are adults they can screw up and make us disappointed, as we can also disappoint them. Give it a day or so if it takes you that long to get composed and then try to discuss things with her once again. You will need to know: -does she still want you to live close to her -does she still want you to be a part of her life -do you still want to live close to her -do you still want to be a part of her life These are very important questions. You can't take the easy way and say, "Of course I want to be with her!". It is obvious that she has hurt you to your very inner core and you may not feel like being around her right now - and that is ALRIGHT! Our feelings are our feelings, and we can't simply snap our fingers and change how we feel. We need to heal hurts and wounds, and you are the ONLY one to know how much time it will take you to heal from what has happened to you today. It is obvious that you are devastated and traumatized at this point. At the same time, when you did the copy and paste to her; she became humiliated and embarrassed to be "caught" being naughty by her mother. This caused her to become defiant and feeling the need to defend herself. You are both going through a lot of things and I hope that you will be able to go through them together. ~Donna

I hate to say it, but your not missing much in Florida.

I'm really sorry to hear that your daughter said those untrue statements for everyone to read in her blog. She should have been honest. I'm not defending her in any way but I imagine she said that because she didn't want to explain your situation to people. This was entirely inappropriate because I'm sure she knew that you would be reading the blog as well. Maybe she was embarrassed and didn't want everyone to know so she made up a story. Then when you called her on it, she didn't want to fess up and decided to be dishonest again. I don't think she's a bad person but I do think she has a problem with seeing and realizing the truth. I do hope you patch things up. It's important that you have each in your life. If something were to happen to either of you tomorrow, the other one would feel horrible and have regrets. Good luck birthlady.

(((((( birthlady )))))))) Our lives have more similarities than you would imagine. I actually understand pretty well what you're going through and I am so sorry. Please feel free to PM me any time. I know you are hurting. You're in my prayers.

This is very bad and I am sorry that you have to be going through this with your daughter. I can not tell but it seems from your post that you do not have a phone so I would suggest that you sit down and write a letter to your daughter telling her exactly how you feel now and tell her your side of the past. I am sure that the two of you have discussed the past already but just give her a friendly reminder that is in black and white, that way if she wants to she can go back and read it over and over. It sounds as if the two of you both have a lot of healing to do. I would not be so fast as to say thay you are not going to move now. It seems that moving would still be the answer as you have a grandson that would love to know his grandma. Living with your daughter would also give the two of you an opportunity to talk and work things out with each other in person. There is a lot of healing that needs to be done here and it is on both sides. It is hard to heal through letters, or on the internet. She may be writing in her blog about the only past that she remembers, and when you question her yes she knows the truth from talking with you but that is not what she remembers. You have both been done wrong by your ex and her father. Now does not seem to me to be a good time to turn your back on your daughter. Continue talking with her and don't tell her that you have changed your mind. Take one day at a time and maybe you will surprise yourself and decide that you would really like to go. I will pray for the both of you and remember to be patient with her.

Oh this is very sad for you, you have had a very tough time over the years, oh my goodness after reading your discussion here it is very hard for you no matter which way you go I do not know how to help you with this and I think it is best for you to think about your own life and not worry about your daughters life as you cannot change what she thinks about all of this, unless you can talk to her in person not over the phone as it is not the same.

Hi. I was really sad to read your story. It sounds like the two of you have some real issues to work through. It sounds like you still feel a lot of guilt for that time in your life you had no control over. But as I know to my cost until you let go of that guilt no one else will either. I think you should both seek counselling together and seperate. From some of the responses you have written it looks like you need a confidence boost. Perhaps you could try and repair the damage with your daughter with the intention of moving to be near her in the future. Perhaps dismissing the idea is not the best plan. I know you say it will hurt too much to go now, but will it hurt any less to have her so far away withthis big rift between you still? Sorry didn't mean to go on! I hope it all works outfor you.

I'm sorry for you, i find it's very sad, i don't understand why she did this :(

Feel my warm arms around you, my heart is crying for you... for all the years of pains that you've gone through, I marvel at the courage that you have facing all these. Keep on praying that may God clear your daughter's mind to realize all her shortcomings to you. Remember the power of prayer is so great that it can move mountains. Keep in mind that an ordinary you has an extraordiry God to back up.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this difficult time. It's not fair to you or to your grandson. Remember that everything happens for a reason. Maybe God has another plan for you and your daughter. Keep your head held high and your spirit lifted to the Lord. He will work all things out for the good. He always does.

Birthlady children can be so cruel andmy life has been saddened just as you one of the childreni gave birth who was so sick when he was born has totally disowned myself and his dad .All over a girl he left hone almost three years ago and hasn`t spoken to us since we even live in the same small country town .The pain they inflice is here to say but in my heart i will always be his mother no matter what . The life your daughter has gone through may not of been easy for her either you never know without theat year long contact you don`t know what she has been through . Just give her some more time and reassure her that no matter what family is important and you are her mother and will be there for her when she is ready. I went through such a hard time when my son left i was in tears at the mention of his name but now i find there is no point in worring about something i cannot change .Too bad his dad cant see that as he is now having so much trouble coming to terms with it that he is going to run away himself he has applied for a job in russia of all places .So as to the future only god knows all.

I think you misunderstood her and shouldnt take it to heart. Her father told her he was her only parent for so many years and she developed a bond with him and misses him. With her mniscarriage came her emotional blog and you shouldnt have called her onit with her enmotions so rattles. Now its your turn - call her, make up for the misunderstanding and get to Florida and pick up the pieces of the unused past. Time for you to mature in this relationship. All you are now a faceless telephone call to her. Good luck!

My ex-wife basically ran off with my kids and hid under the radar just long enough to set up residency in another state. She poisoned my children for years. My heart goes out to you. I married again and my wife and I have talked about moving to the area my kids live. We cannot do it for financial reasons. I hear people all the time telling me that they would move in a heart beat but they do not understand the situation like I do. It is not just that easy. So, I guess what I am saying is that only you know what the right answer is. Hang in there, ok.

I am so sorry to hear about the rift between you and your daughter. I really hope that you two can patch things up. It's my estimation that her father did this to her. What I mean is that he probably told her all these things as a child, and she believed them. Why would a child doubt their parent? I have seen so many cases where one parent poisons the child against the other. She probably thought that what she was saying WAS the truth, because her father told her so. You have every right to defend yourself in this situation. You were not able to be there for your daughter because your ex did not give you the opportunity to do so. That isn't your fault, and it is unfair of her to treat you that way. The best advice I can offer is to talk to her. No amount of small arguing is worth losing your daughter over.

I'm not great with leaving comments to things like this because i honestly don't know what to say. However i did want leave kind wishes of encouragement, i hope things settle and get sorted between you and your daughter. + every starts to sort itself out. Thanks for sharing it with us. ~Joey P.s this is one of the things in which i like about this place people actually care! kudos!