Can a woman and a man be just friends?? Plutonic relationship does it exist?

@ladyjava (1184)
Malaysia
January 30, 2007 5:51am CST
I have a girlfriend who keeps telling me that she has this great friendship with a man. A married man. She insist that it is nothing more than two person enjoying each other company and the fact that he's married only make her more confident that it is strictly plutonic. Then one day, this man told her he loves her. She was totally caught offguard. I told her it exists only in an ideal world. Feelings always get in the way. No matter how truthful you are in the "friendship" somehow along the way.. someone always fall in "love". Am i wrong? Do you have a plutonic friend??
5 people like this
7 responses
@mansha (6298)
• India
31 Jan 07
I think yes they can be friends, I have amny friends who are boys and IO do not feel that I lovwe them the way I love my husband. They are cool to hang out with but beyond that flirting or romancing with them, I can't even begin to imagine, its simply ridiculous.
2 people like this
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
Yes, i agree but what about them? Do they feel the same way? Do they secretly "love" u? Stop and wonder sometimes.. just a thought ;)
1 person likes this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
31 Jan 07
As from my point of view, it is very difficult or it is even impossible to maintain a pure friendship between man and woman. They will be attracted by each other as time goes by and as they share more common interests.
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
this is my point too.. i'm sure a lot of pple feel the same way :)
1 person likes this
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
28 Feb 07
I experienced this kind of relationship. We have been bestfriend before he is married. On his wedding day, his mother admitted that he actually love me, but I never take him seriously when he mentioned that to me..LOL. I always think that he is my best frens and love me as a best friend, further I had my eyes on someone else. As he is a married man, I restricted myself on calling him like I used to. He still called me everyday to talk or just to ask if I had eaten. The relationship slowly wither as time past, but one day I saw him while I was eating at a restaurant. He started to ask for my new number and keep calling me after that. All his call is about how unhappy he is with his wife and her family. He bragged about how he missed me, my careness and all those stuff and oneday he told me, he still love me and if I want to marry him he will divorce his wife. That's it, my plutonic frens who will go to the extend knowing that I'm still not married. Luckyly I'm not the sort of person who will ever take someone husband just because he said he love me deeply. This is what reality is, if its a matter of heart and brain, heart will always win...lucky thing I don't have any feeling toward him. Dont know what will happen if I do.
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
28 Feb 07
Like i say.. feelings always get in the way.. If it's not you, it's the other party.
@vikramj (16)
• Israel
30 Jan 07
I think it can exist.Its not necessary that opposite sexes cannot be just friends. I myself have a really close friend but never has the thought of being life partners come to both of our minds.
2 people like this
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
well u probably are one of the lucky ones. i myself have male friends but i would not consider them really close friends.. and being married, keeping one distance is always best prevention, you probably can control yourself but what abt the other party?
1 person likes this
@atisha (79)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
When a man and a woman says, they 'just a friend', well its 'hard' to believe especially when we ALWAYS sees them TOGETHER. For me personally, feels that people can change. I do believe in drawing a line in between a relationship BUT when they spent most of the time together and share everything, definitely the feeling of 'love' will develop slowly.
1 person likes this
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
I totally agree with you.. also you can't help what other's feel about you. You might feel totally honest in the relationship and respect the other party existing relationship but then the other party suddenly develop feelings for you. What do u do right? So the best is i guess to stay away :)
1 person likes this
@atisha (79)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 07
Thanks!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
Can Platonic relationships exist, certainly. I have had a female friend for many many years. For along time I was closer to her then anyone else in my life. Although ate one point early on there was an attraction, at least on my end, nothing ever came of it and we grew too close to have anything happen. I have numerous female friends, and they are just friends. That being said. My exwife had this friend, a 20 year old guy (she is 32). They started hanging out once and a while, then it became almost every day, then she started blowing me off to hang out with him. Then she would blow me off on our date nights to hang with him. Long story short they are moving in together sometime soon (though not nearly soon enough). So I can see where it can be dangerous.
1 person likes this
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
28 Feb 07
The affair of the heart is rarely easy to handle. Sometimes when a person thinks with her/his heart, someone always get hurt. I'm sorry to hear about your ex-wife. I guess it's always better to practice the age-old sentiment of "better safe than sorry"
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 07
You know, I find that strangely true. But most best friends would never tell each other. For example, my best bud B, he's the coolest guy on earth. I think I was secretly in love with him fora while..but I don't think he has the same feelings for me, so I never expressed those feelings lest I do something to jeopardize our friendship. So then I went into a relationship with my current bf..who has turned out to be my new best friend..and B got jealous at one stage so now we don't talk much anymore.
1 person likes this
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 07
Hmm... do you wonder now if B also has feelings for you as well and felt the same way that you do?? OMG.. better not dwell on that eh??