Never choke in a Redneck Restaurant

@mari61960 (4893)
United States
January 30, 2007 1:23pm CST
Two hillbillies Ed and Red walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins cough. After a minute, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swaller?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"
8 people like this
27 responses
• India
14 Mar 07
good one..never heard anythin like dat...good keep addin some more funny jokes
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
14 Mar 07
Glad you enjoyed it, I'll see what I can find. Happy posting.
• United States
31 Jan 07
i dont understand it..sorry
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
1 Feb 07
That's ok it's silly anyway, thanks for reading it.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Lol! Mari I loved this joke I can't wait to show all the folks here in Kentucky this joke it was hilarious make me choke on my coffee so I'll have to get another cup because I was laughing so hard towards the end that coffee came out of my nose my nose. I know now not to drink and read..lol. Well that made my day seem a little less dreary this morning. Thanks! Keep up the good work!
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Glad I could be of service....lol, sorry for the mess.hehehe
@zeeterman (1066)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions." Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home!" She sat down, red-faced. "Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin. "The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions," said Susan. "Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!"
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I love it, thanks you have brightened my day immnensly...lol I must pass it on, too funny.
@rakinitin (685)
• Canada
31 Jan 07
That was pretty good. Thanks for the laugh, it was great. I always enjoy a good joke, I only wish I could remember half of them. Don't you just hate it when you hear a good joke and then can't remember it when you have the chance to share it?
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Yes, I do hate that, I can never remember them. I am a lousy joke teller, I always manage to mess it up somehow...lol
@CatEyes (2448)
• United States
31 Jan 07
OMG, so funny, can I share this with my friends? I just love it. Thanks for the laugh! Was the women choking a blonde by the way? HEE HEE HAA HAA.
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
31 Jan 07
ha ha quite possibly...lol
• United States
31 Jan 07
Hahhahaha, that is so good. Where did you get that one from? Foxworthy? Thanks for sharing it, I really neaded a laugh today.
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
31 Jan 07
These are the things that my mother bombards me with daily. I usually get at least 3 o 4 a day from her and her friends at work...lol
• United States
31 Jan 07
Well, I guess that will give ya good enuf reason to chew your food well. LOL. Cute one Mari.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160624)
• United States
30 Jan 07
I have misunderstood words when I was younger, and this reminds me of some things my child like mind visualized. It was a big laugh,
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Ok, that did it. I am going to have to press charges Mari. That is THREE TIMES you have caused me to saturate my keyboard with liquid, and twice that I have fallen from this chair! This is the clincher. All of my friends at the hospital will die when they hear this one!
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Ok, I'm done with jokes for the day so you can wipe the keyboard off and take off the plastic wrap...lol Can you tell I'm at a loss for discussion, I'm struggling here, grasping at straws even..lol
1 person likes this
@AskAlly (3625)
• Canada
30 Jan 07
HA, I have tears in my eyes. I called my husband over to read it as well. What a chuckle we had. Thank you!!
1 person likes this
@BDnLacy (324)
• United States
31 Jan 07
LOL .. Now that's one I haven't heard. You made the redneck laugh. THANKS!
@lisa101 (1362)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thats totally hillarious. Thanks for sharing. Me being from redneck country myself find these things funny and almost believable haha lol.
1 person likes this
@NucknFutz (180)
• United States
30 Jan 07
That thyurr joke weuz a reel nee slapper!!! I laffed so MUCH Harharhar, ima tell all mah huntin buds . But really...i dont think half the people in my god forsaken hometown have the reading level to sign on the internet. Its sad really, and i love the insulting jokes =P
1 person likes this
@sandie61 (2359)
• United States
31 Jan 07
lol. that was a good one. I love reading the jokes.
@lifeiseasy (2292)
• United States
30 Jan 07
ya reckon ..lol that was a good one..love redneck jokes they are almost as good as blond jokes keep them coming...lol
@honeyangel (1991)
31 Jan 07
ha ha ha ha going have to remember that one
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
31 Jan 07
LOL...I love redneck humor..keep it comin'.
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
12 Mar 07
LOL..I think its funny and stay out of the restaurant..Ha
• United States
7 Mar 07
LOL that was so funny, I loved it