Too Late

You should never give up on your dreams! You admit to being happy alone so I'd do whatever made me feel happy, if you get a cretin dump him you wouldn't have thought twice about that in your teens so don't act any differently now - that gives you your self respect. You deserve happiness, although sometimes you meet a wonderful person when you really are not looking, I know I did. I wish you every happiness, just be true to yourself - don't let other people influence you.

You would be surprised at how accurately The Universe fulfills your wishes! :) If you decide to develop a set of thoughts, actions and deeds that are designed to lead you to the love of your life or any other goal and set out "hell for leather" to accomplish them, you can be sure that the signs of your progress will start showing up... Please remember that it was thoughts, actions and deed that created your present situations... YOU HAVE THE POWER! Right now there are hundreds if not thousands of opportunities for you to tranform your Life to your liking... You must open your eyes and your "heart of hearts" and dare to break the cycle that's keeping you from taking the actions that are required to do so... I am a male who is also 54 years young! That's right, I feel that I was born at the best most auspicious time for romantical and magickal people, ever!!! Because of certain aspects and signs that were evident at our shared time of birth, we have certain traits that seem to be so common, that it cannot be just a coincidence... The feeling or illusion that we are trapped in a small town and dooomed to live with thoughtless, mindless people from which we "must" accept as our suitors and lovers... PISH, TOSH! That's what I'll say to that!!! Love is too Powerful and Purposeful to allow those who have an Understanding of It, to whither and die in this manner! You have, in the recent past, probably counseled and gave Hope to others about the very same situation that you find yourself in now... The Universe, in it's Wisdom, has made you sensitive to the point of empath-ism, with a deep knowledge of other peoples feelings over the years... Those who are posessed of certain weaknesses will be drawn to you, because they somehow "sense" the genuine Strength and honest Goodness that is naturally yours... and come looking for It... You are aware of these things, too! Right now, they are like muscles in need of exercise and strenth-training. Once you realize how to do this, you will be able to use these Powers to "lift" or elevate yourself to a level where "stronger and more solid" persons exist... and they will,of couse be attracted to you! :) All of this might require some travel, or at least some resourceful Internet surfing, but it will be worth it... My advice to you is to deeply consider your Powers and what action(s) it will take to develop them to a more useful level... You acceptance of yourself as being able to enjoy "being on your own" is a good thing. Utilise that Sacred State Of Solitude to your greatest advantage... I am a Solitaire, yet I find that I have to fight for some "me time"! :) It will do no good to "become sick" of some men's selfish ways, as selfish and uncaring people will always seem to outnumber those who are genuine and kind-hearted... Lastly and gently, please be aware that true Self Respect, doesn't have to "cost" anything... it only requires an Understanding of The Self and It's needs... I mean no offense in my comments and I apologise for any that may have occured... My purpose is to inform and share some of my thoughts and observations about how about your selected discussion matter, and to offer what I hope is counsel that may be of benefit... May Joy, Abundance and Peace be with you,and may Love Itself come to bring Energy to your Efforts... Blessed Be!

No don't give up there is someone but do you think your Expectations are to high lol maybe if they ease of a bit it might be a bit easier lol Of course your Respect counts very much but just think if the expectations could be eased of a bit

Hi MsTickle, One disadvantageous thing about the single life is that Western culture provides disproportional lurks and perks to people "in a relationship". The net effect is that the standard of living of single people is suppressed to subsidize that of couples. I don't have a difficulty with that in principle, because the family unit is the foundation and building block of our society. Where I do have a gripe is that the principle has been subverted to serve the interests of anyone who can get their snout into the troph, ie, anyone with a politically effective lobby group (hint - that excludes single people). "De Facto" couples, for example, and IMO worse still, "gay couples", seem to be determined to enjoy the priveleges and benefits accorded by our society to support the purpose of encouraging creation and propagation of families. But that's another story for another day (after the revolution starts, I'd expect). Don't be worried about finding a "soul mate". In fact, were I you, I'd be far more rigorous about who I tolerated and why. If you're not treated properly by a "friend", in the way that you expect them to treat you, then they're not your friend. You are your own best friend - don't ever forget that. There's three of you to keep each other company, and you should be sure to look after them properly. Lonely is a scam - don't be brainwashed by the expectations of other people. We are a herding species, so some of these tendencies are built into our brains from birth - but we're also much more than that, even though few of us recognize our own potentials. If you have a lot of time to yourself, then use that time! You'll be able to get 100 times more done without the distractions of social interruptions and obligations. Learn some other languages (I'd suggest Canton & Mandarin), get serious about some useful hobbies, take a few correspondence courses, get involved in astronomy, grow a spectacular herb garden, learn to heal the sick, raise some parrots (they're very smart, friendly and faithful, and can have a good conversation with you when you're bored)... Just because you're in your 50's doesn't mean diddly squat about your life potentials. If you eat properly and keep active, there's at least another 100 years of achievement waiting for you. And you've already outdone the allopathic medical fraternity - where the life expectancy for doctors is just 56 years (talk about the blind leading the blind!). Stop that sulking, and get on with it! In 1,000 years time, what any of us has done or didn't do won't make a scrap of difference to anyone - except ourselves. So let's make that difference by looking ahead and kicking figurative butts out of our figurative way!

It's never too late my friend. You should keep searching. The ones you encounter on the way are your guide the your eventual soulmate, so keep moving on, and searching, for he's doing the same thing. One day, your paths will cross, probably when the time is just right. I met my soulmate when I was in my fifties, and guess what... I'd been married twice!!! They just weren't the ones for me, but I learned from that, and kept searching. One day, I just stumbled across him, and I have never looked back, so never give up hope, my friend... he's out there somewhere, and getting closer all the time. Brightest Blessings. xx

No, I think it is fine to be optimistic no matter what your age. But just do not center your life upon that hope, let it be at the back of yourn mind and your priorities take over your thinking and living. You will just do fine. I'm sorry to hear that you had bad experiences with men. Just don't be convinced and commit with men easily, test them in different ways like gold, that is how you would affirm the right ones. Wish you all the best for your future.:-)

I'm 45 and single too. I've not found a soulmate (yet!) and I have to say my track record with relationships is not that great although I have had two "big" relationships - the last one was almost nine years and ended about a year ago now. 99% of the time I do really like being single, I like living on my own, I like being in control of my life in general. However, if I met the right person then I suppose these things would become less important to me. It's a big if though! I think the important thing is not to settle for something or someone that isn't what you really want. Too many people do that and so have I in the past. There might be times when I feel a bit lonely but the loneliest feeling in the world is being with someone you don't want to be with. I would also say that people only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. If your friend treats you thoughtlessly then just don't stand for it! Make sure he does know better than to treat you that way. If he can't or won't change then get a new friend. There really are decent men around (well so I'm told anyway!) and it's never too late. You'll meet someone when you're least expecting it because that's just the way these things seem to happen.

Does your Avatar & your user name sum up your attitude to life? If so then you have serious problems. Your friend can't be much of a friend if he treats you thoughtlessly (even if he is single). Most people have a touch of selfshness in them. You are not silly remaining hopful. Remember that there will be someone out there who will have you name on him.

Everybody has a soulmate and I'm sure yours is out there somewhere. Have you tried going on little weeknd trips maybe or go to a bigger town with more selection in men? I'm sure there are still plenty of guys out there that are decent.

well I often wonder the same thing.I am in my fifties and have never had the man for me.I was just thinking to myself that I guess the love I always believed was out here isn't for me.I can deal with that.I am very happy in my life.I am getting rid of a relationship where the man thought I was in the relationship to please him but he found out rather quickly that I will be alone before I will settle for less than I deserve.That's one good thing that's come with age,I can do bad by myself.I don't mind my own company,in fact I prefer my own company when the company's not who i want to be with.I realize I may be looking for a man that doesn't exist,I often put the blame on God and tell him,if he wasn't so good to me my expectations wouldn't be so high.Oh well,we'll see what the future brings,Gods will be done.

Do you believe in zodiac signs? What is your sign? Kinda off topic but I too am in a kind of a quandary looking for a soulmate...I am a Leo, I write, sing and love to travel, and age doesnt matter to me.

I don't think that anyone can get a soulmate, who can understand their feelings and behave accordingly. I think the problem lies in you. May be you are trying to be superior always. But as you mentioned, in your age finding some true soulmate is a hard thing but not impossible. May be someday you find your mate. Good Luck MsTickle

I also had a history of difficult relationships before I finally found someone that I could get along with. Before that could happen I needed to honestly assess my past relationships and figure out what part did I play in the problems. After a period of painful self-appraisal, I realized that part of me was as wounded as the men I was involved with. That was why I attracted a particular type of man. I didn't fully believe I deserved better than what I got because I wasn't seeing my own worth. When I came to terms with my own contribution to the situation, I was able to trace those problems back to my family, and the role I had there. In my case, I was always trying to fix everyone elses problems, but didn't deal with my own. I made excuses for loved ones, and I overlooked awful behavior towards me because I loved them. Somewhere in the back of my mind I came to believe that I got what I deserved. The good thing here is that eventually I found someone who treats we with love and respect, but that couldn't have happened to me until I decided that I deserved those things. Take heart, youll find a healthy loving relationship if that's what you want. Please never allow someone into your life who doesn't show you how worthwhile and wonderful you are.

Men are difficult but I guess, you are expecting too much and mixing the reality with fantisy.

No, you're never to old for love, just go out, meet new friends and have fun. You can join support groups, community groups and church groups. These places might help you find the one you are looking for in your life. It just depends on the places you want to visit and expose yourself. You may not find the love of your life but surely you can gain new friends.

As the saying goes, age doesn't matter. Keep yourself attractive and don't ever lose hope. Love moves in mysterious ways and comes in the most unexpected places. Don't feel desperate because there are many opportunistic guys in this world. But whether you find the love of your life or not, the most important thing is to have self-respect and never feel insecure because you may be loveless but still feel complete. It's good to love and be loved, but it's better to be alone if the guy is a jerk. There are many ways to be happy, like keeping a hobby or keeping in touch with your circle of friends.

Ms.Tickle, I am 40 and feel almost the same way you do. I say almost because I am somewhat content with what I have and remain hopeful that some guy will bump into me for all the right reasons. I feel it's never too late..but have come to accept that all will be okay if it doesn't happen that way. I accept it because it was driving me a little crazy. Been engaged 4 times. I have had the lovely opportunity of meeting great actors that think they can turn into toads once they slip that ring on my finger. A woman can always change her mind. My theory on cretins being attracted to us is...when we were babies and our moms weren't looking for a few minutes, aliens zapped us up into their ship and implanted a micro chip that attracts idiots to us for a study they are apparently still working on, lol

No my dear friend you are not being silly to keep wanting a man of your dreams, just keep him pictured in your mind and knowing that he will find you ,when the time is right ....just keep knowing it is true, I am a firm believer that we get what we ask for

I was in the same situation. I was 48 and had been on my own for a long time. Very independent. I actually went on the website Match.com and I actually found my soulmate. I was so surprised to actually find him. I like you was always hopeful, but actually believed it would happen. But it did!!! So don't give up, your soulmate is out there somewhere you just haven't found them yet.

It is never too late sweet cheeks. You must of had limited choices, 'cuase there are good one out there and I am one. Do not put me into the class you have met, 'cause I just don't fit there.