I don't want to have children. Why is this not very accepted in modern society?

United States
January 31, 2007 11:20am CST
I am a 30- something woman and don't have a very maternal instinct, and don't want to have children. It can be hard since many of my friends do have children, but the pressure I feel is imposed, and not from within. Why isn't is very accepted in society that a woman doesn't have to have a family? I fill my time with my career, travel, existing family, home improvement, and socializing. I feel like I have a fulfilling life. Am I missing something? What would be a good arugument that would convince me to consider having children?
1 response
shannon76
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
31 Jan 07
The only argument that I can come up with is if everyone felt the way you do, we would eventually die off.. Or at least that was what I was told when I said the same thing. My husband and I discussed never having kids. Neither of us really wanted them (not that we didn't like kids because we love kids but we just didn't want any of our own) As you can see in the picture, that changed because I got pregnant and trust me when I say this, I have NO regrets what so ever. I can't tell you how great it is having a child to raise but yet it is the scariest thing as well. Don't let anyone pressure you into having them. My view on it is that if God see's it fit for you, then one way or the other you will have a baby. But if He doesn't, then it's not meant to be.
JanieJetz
@JanieJetz (47)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thanks for your comments! Really makes me think. I have a friend who said she never wanted children (has been married 10 years) and accidentally got pregnant, and decided to keep it. She is due in about 3 weeks and is very nervous. I'm anxious for her, but I get the feeling that once you see the baby, everything changes and you fall head over heels in love! I hope this happens with her. I will stay in close touch with her to make sure she is OK. Maybe your response, and her experiences, will lead me to change my mind down the road....
shannon76
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
3 Feb 07
Once that baby is out, everything changes. Your whole outlook on life changes. You change the way you drive. You change the way you speak to one another. You changed what you watch on TV and who you associate with. It is like a life makeover. For me, the instant love came when I saw that little peanut shaped, alien looking thing on the ultrasound screen for the first time. I NEVER believed in love at first site, till then. I fell completely inlove with the life that was growing inside of me - my baby, my child to nurture and educate and love. You will never cry so much in your life as much as you do when you have a child. You cry because you are happy. You cry because the baby is crying. You cry because he is hurt or upset or mad. You cry because he sat up on his own. You cry because he crawled or played pattycake with you. I cry just because he is so beautiful sometimes. Weird huh??? And believe it or not, I am not a crier!! LOL I think that EVERYONE should experience this in their life. Well maybe not everyone just because I know some people wouldn't make good parents!! But still, the epxerience and the love that is shared is magical... Please congratulate your friend for me and welcome her to motherhood!! And I will pray for you that your heart is changed and that it is in God's will for you to have one of His greatest gifts - a baby. God Bless! =)