Have you ever noticed

I agree with you, people do need a hand when they are down. But also, when we are down, our emotions are a little more fragile, therefore when people say that's life, we take it alot harder when they were acctually trying to help. Most people I don't think are intentionally adding salt to the wound. When we are upset we should try not to let other people bother us so badly, it just tends to make things worse and make a big deal out of nothing.

I agree with you. It seems as though misery really does love company, and people who are miserable are happy when others are miserable too. Some people are just so negative. Sometimes all a person really needs is a hug, some time, and understanding. I try to stay away from negative people.

Some people just don't understand, or don't notice what is needed. So because they don't realize what's going on, they don't respond very well.

So many peoples have this attitude. They have to change this because one day for them itself it may happen and that day they will realize the truth beyond the Sorrows.

There are some people who are not happy unless they are putting other people down, it somehow makes them feel better. You just have to ignore those people, because the vast majority of people are very kind, and are willing to help others.

I have been there and it seems as if no one understands how you feel.People dont care the way they did years ago.They are all caught up in their own little world and dont think about other peoples feelings. Sometime Id like to turn back the clock and,it would be like it was when my mother was growing up. If you had a hard time then all the neighbors would pull togeather and help in anyway they could. Times have really changed, and the only one we can really count on is our father up above. So when you get feeling down,just look up and let him know, he will never turn away or leave you ever.

I have had some people say that to me as well and it just made me feel worse when they said things like that. It made me feel that they did not care or want to help me. It could be due to them not understanding what a person is feeling or going through. We do need a hand when we are down.

that is sometimes the right thing to do is to let them know everything will be ok.

I ahve noticed that. Some people just cannot speak without hurting others. It's times like that, that I wish people would just leave you alone. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

i noticed that when im down my husband just looks the other way i swear i wish i could take back marrying him

Sometimes people are really like that so I don't listen to them. I listen to what I feel inside, if what they're saying is good then I'll take it. If it's bad I don't bother to absorb it. For me it is just a matter of selecting who you want to listen to.

I know that my mother is like that. I don't bring my problems to her because she will just make me feel worse, lol! But I love her. She doesn't mean to be negative, she just has that kind of an outlook about a lot of things in life. Other than that, yes there have been times when all I wanted was to be comforted in other ways and have not gotten the words back that I expected. This actually happened to me last night when I was upset about something and had someone comment on my journal online saying something that I knew was painfully true, but was not exactly what I wanted or felt that I needed to hear. But then I also got some other kind words that were more like I needed. And I know that I should always consider all possibilities, so in this case I am not complaining about the first message that I received. I try to take it under consideration.

Yes, sometimes it's hard to find compassion. I'm always the one people come to in their hour of need, but when I'm in need, friends are few and far between. I had one friend tell me that she just doesn't know what to do for me, that I'm the strong one, and I always give the good advice. I think this falls into the category of 'that which doesn't kill us will only make us stronger'. Also it's God's way of making you turn to HIM. One of the things that get me through times like this is remembering that I am not a victim, I am the creator of my reality. And I ask myself, "why have I created this for myself? What do I have to gain from this experience?"

Honestly, its quite hard to comfort a person who is down. Its hard to find words that could console one's feelings. I think, the best thing to do for that situation is just "listen." Instead of needing a hand, we need an "ear" in particular. We have different experiences when we feel down, so probably, the one who says "that's life, get use to it" are for those who did not experience such circumstance. But still, to top it all, at first, I'll give you my ear.. Second, I'll give you my hand.

I couldn't agree with you more. I especially hate it when I'm upset and my friend asks me what's wrong, then says something like "You think that's bad? Wait till I tell you what happened to me". I understand that they may think they are helping, but they're not. When I'm upset I'd like some validation of my feelings and perhaps some encouraging words, just like you. I just reread my post and I think it's a bit ironic. Sorry about that.

Sometimes, my sister comes to me with problems that I need to help her with and it's always that she needs the same help like printing something in the printer, helping her with academic tasks... I sometimes don't have patience helping her and I blame her for not trying harder enough. I think teaching someone how to solve his problems on his own, can be the best thing to do. I had a friend that told me all of his life problems and all the things that make him sad. I sometimes comforted him, but, I didn't have patience to hear all of his miserable thoughts and feelings. It made my mood also lower. But, I never have told him things like "that's life, deal with it.". That's a cold respond to tell and it shows you have no solidarity with him. I try to show some solidarity, sharing some of his agony, I make serious face, I listen and reflect his thoughts...so he feels like he is not alone. Nevertheless, I didn't like him eventually...he was too much into the agony and I think he like feeling down and get comforts from friends instead of being happy and live a better life...