Grandparents spanking your kids?-what do you think?

I realize that grandparents want to play a role in their grandchildren's lives, and help them grow up well. However, I don't believe that grandparents have to the right to go against the wishes of the parents in how to discipline children. In fact, if my child's grandparent disciplined my child in a way they weren't comfortable with, I would forbid visitation with the child without a parent present. The only time I believe grandparents have a right to interfere in how parents are raising their kids is when there is abuse involved.

did my parents spank you? would be my first question myself. second would be did i think they were wrong at the time and do i think they were wrong now as an adult. for myself, i was the spanking catching extrodinare.(sce) and then i thought every one i caught was wrong. now i realize if it wasn't for some of those spankings. i wouldn't have a, lets say reference point to look back on if i went to do whatever stupid thing i did to get spanked in the first place. so yes i would have no problem wit the grandparents spanking, if the truly did something wrong.these are the same people who instilled the values you have in you now. unles you just dont beleive spanking your kids today, and the way things are nowadays kids need all the discipline they can get. not abuse but discipline.

My father hit my neice once while my sister was there to see it. She told him flat out if he did it again she'd call DCF on him. He got all huffy about it and such but he backed off. My father was not spanking though he was hitting, big difference and need to realize that. Either way though with what you were asking the grandparents should not go against the parents wishes as far as punishment goes. They have something set up and my personal thought is if you are there then they shouldn't try to control the kids. You are the parent you parent, they are the grandparent, they spoil. That's just the way it should be.

I think there is a time for spanking. I've only had to do it a few times. I give warning. I count to 3. And she knows if I get to 3 that she's in trouble and getting her butt spanked. Now, I don't ever get to 3. It's important to follow through. Other punishments like taking certain things away or putting them in the corner just doesn't get through to the kids. I really think thats whats wrong with the kids today. They don't get their butts spanked when they cross they line. Nowadays they know they can get away with things and the punishments are tolerable or easy to get around. There is a difference between abuse and discipline. But your children have to know that you mean business or they will eventually walk all over you. Children today are also not taught respect. They get everything handed to them and they earn and learn nothing. How does this help our future?

I am living with my parents and my dad (tatay) spanked my oldest son.Well, its okay if i see that he needs it too!But sometimes, i tell my dad not to do it especially when my son is not doing bad things.Just being playful and running around.

Hmm, I guess I have a different outlook from most of the posters, as well as probably you yourself. I would prefer that my Dad (my kids' grandpa) spank my kids if they are misbehaving. Why? Because I want them to obey him. I want my Dad to like and enjoy my kids and if he's not able to spank them and they know that, then they will run all over him. Spanking, to a certain degree, gives kids a respect for whoever is spanking them (if done properly... not hitting or abusing). I want my kids to respect my Dad like I do. Generally speaking, if I'm going to have someone be around my kids, especially if I'm not there, I need to be able to trust that person to spank them, because I want them to behave. If the child even knows that the person has the authority to spank them, usually they will obey and it will never be an issue. But, if you leave your kids with someone who you don't want to spank them and the child figures it out, what incentive do they have to obey that person? That person may be in for a very terrible evening and never want to watch your kids again. If I was at my Dad's house and my Dad told my son to do something and he did it anyway, I'd want him to spank him so that in the future my son would obey him and it would never be a problem again. My Dad raised me, and he knows how and when to properly discipline, which is evidenced by myself and my brother. Why would I not trust him to spank my own children?

What I would say? Really? I would say something like this : "I don't accept the concept of spanking and if you ever do it to one of my sons I will break you" Something like that, and I´m serious here, spanking children drives me mad.

I personally feel that it depends whether my child stays with grandparents or not. I mean if all of us are living as a single family I want my parents to treat my child with love and affection irrespective of whatever they does. Because as parents it is me and my wife who have to take care of her future and if needed take some serious actions against here deeds (but not to the extent of spanking). So I think it is with their grandparents that children can always freak out with. So I just want my parents to be very close to my child so that if he feels bad about me or my wife he can just go to his grandparents and relax over there. This is how I think the balance is maintained.......As a parent I not only give him love and affection but sometimes I warn him seriously when something goes wrong with him. But grandparents are the ones who should always give him love and affection.....

My parents were told that a hand to the bottom was the only form of spanking II will tolerate and only when something very wrong was done, such as lying and stealing. Tine outs were given for other infractions. I grew up with the belt and face slapping and often went to school with marks on my legs and face. Back then it wasnt considered child abuse, but it is today. However I was hit for any reason, from dust bunnies under my bed to singing a song while doing dishes. My parents rarely had to disapline my daughter and most were time outs.

I'd be tactful about this situation. punishment is a one way to discipline... but it does not need to be brutal. if he has done good, then he needs to be reinforced. if he has done a bad thing, its natural for children, and they need to be taught of what is right. you have to tell them over and over that what they did was wrong,.. you can even add up a little spanking or voice raising... but not to the point of hurting them for they might be traumatized... you can't be assured that they will change, you may never know it will lead them to do the unwanted things without your awareness...it will not bring a good effect to your children in their latter life.. they might do the same punishment to their future children...

It is okay because: 1. The children will respect their parents forever. 2. They will not do bad things. 3. They will lsten to their parents advise. It is been studied by professionals.

I must say its rather unusual for the Grands to encourage the spanking of their grandkids.With that said,im not against spanking,but it needs to be appropiate.Further more,its the parents decision to spank or not to spank.Governments should keep out of legislating laws to dictate interaction behaviour in families.

I would definitely tell them that i dont want my children being spanked or physically disciplined by anyone.as much as possible i dont spank my daughter so i would like them to spank her too.

Well I would like to handle it one on one.. I dont ever would want my kid to know that his dad and his grand parents have a different option and would never say that the visits are restricted.. what I would want to do is to talk to my parents and let them know that this is not idle and the only way to disciple kids.. but in the kids eyes, I would never make this difference of opinion visible...

NONE of my family members are allowed to spank my child unless they have my permission. dicipline by time-outs and other (non voilent) methods are alright by me. IN NO WAY does anyone every hit/spank my child with an object. i will never do that, especially with a belt, which is why i would never allow their grandparents to do that to them either. it was good that your father respected you wished. you are the parent after all and its your decision on how you want to raise and dicipline your own child. i'm not saying grandparents can't have a say, but unless its told to them by the parent of the child that its okay, then it shouldn't be done.

it is definitely not up to the grandparents how your kids are disciplined!!! in their day it was okay to spank your kids. follow whichever procedure you and your husband have been using and let the grandparents know that your way is the only way the kids will be disciplined. don't give in. be consistent with how they are disciplined.

I don't think it is fair for the kids to be spanked just because they are naughty. Kids are really like that. I think it is the parents and not the grandparents responsibility to discipline the kids, if I'm not mistaken, grandparents hitting the kids is illegal in other countries.

I dont think Id like my parents to spank my kids in the future too. I would rather they tell me if he's bad and I'll do the punishment myself. That should be the way to do it.

I don't spank my grandkids...its taking away provlesges when they are bad here. When my kids were small I would not minded if they spanked theior bottoms with a hand but no one had better even think about a belt on my kids or grandkids. I feel that is chold abuse...just my opinion.

I do not know if I even will spank my kids when I have them. In that case if my parents felt the need to do so, I would make sure it was CLEAR my idea of punishment. Also I dont think its the grandparents right to do something SO important as punishment. I think it would be great good of all if they just told their parents (the kids parents) what happened and allowed THEM to punish the kids. Really unless the grandparents are raising the kids for the parents or in their place (which does happen on occasion) they really shouldnt be doing something so personal to the childrens parents job.