When youth is an excuse...
By cranberian
@cranberian (52)
United States
February 1, 2007 12:58am CST
In discipline and general growing-up life, it's often said that a youth needs to show more maturity or 'be more responsible for their actions' when he/she makes an unwise choice. But the question lies in: do young people really have the capacity that parents or adults are looking for to 'be more mature'? When they may not have experience to draw from?
I'm speaking more specifically about adolescents and young adults. This is usually the prime time for experimentation, developing personal ideas, and defining morals in decision-making. When a young person makes an less-than-ideal decision in the eyes of the society, or their parents, how much fault should they be held accountable for -- more specifically, when they haven't yet had experiences that they should guide their choices with? Should their developing phase be considered?
The short question: Should the phrase 'you should show more maturity' (or something to that effect) be a valid thing to tell someone?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@freak369 (5113)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Kids need to be kids. That is why I am against all the parents that look at their kid running around the playground like a lunatic and think, "My child needs some type of medication". No, they need to run around the playground until they fall over.
Making mistakes is part of life, it's learning from them and trying not to repeat them that makes you wise. Telling a child, "Don't walk on that ledge because you could fall" is a lot different from trying to rule their life and over-protect them.
Think of it like this .. I said this to someone and it took them a while to get it. My parents bought me a bike when I was a kid, a bike that I really wanted. When I got it all I wanted to do was ride it but I didn't know how. Subsequently, I was never allowed to ride my bike because my mom said she didn't want me to get hurt. Does that make sense? Kids need to fall off bikes, skin their knees and get dirty. Most parents are coddling their kids and doing those playdates that are scheduled weeks in advance.
As far an teens and tweens, they need to be watched but not smothered. When I went away for school I turned into an animal because of my new found freedom, if my parents hadn't kept such a tight leash on my when I was younger, my life could have turned out completely different and who knows .. I could have a completely different station in life than I have now.
This is getting long winded .. I'll wrap it up now.
Leave your kids alone. If you raised them with honesty, values and morals then give them the benefit of the doubt that they'll use them when the time calls.
1 person likes this
@cranberian (52)
• United States
8 Feb 07
It's definitely good to give kids some breathing room. If you instill them with values that you believe are important, then it's definitely up to them to learn how to use them and develop through making their own choices. Thanks so much for your response.
1 person likes this
@Alphasee (389)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Most the time, children do not have the insight, nor the control to be able to make the same "rational" decisions that youth do. We all have a mature side, and it's relevant to our experiences, yes, but at the same time, think about how much we can learn from kids and their decisions. I never go a day without thinking about how kids have changed my life, and I know I'm not the only one.
Youth have a different perspective on things, yes, but at the same time, it's not fair, because we do see their behavior and their decisions as "not the norm", or something along those lines. But some youth do have the capacity, and the decision making skills to make the mature decisions, and actually deal with life more maturely than most adults.
@cranberian (52)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I agree on all counts -- so many times, kids just being kids can teach others immensely. I too have learned so much from those that are younger than me, especially in my family. Their answers are often so straightforward, and they're usually not afraid to ask questions that may seem difficult. Despite levels of maturity or whatever definition that has, it's such an amazing experience to see a kid grow up and learn. In a way, it makes it all worth it. Gracias for your comments! :D
1 person likes this
@firoafame (359)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
1 Feb 07
well if youth can behave like adults they should be called adults not youth.
@cranberian (52)
• United States
8 Feb 07
If I behave like a man, it doesn't exactly mean that I am one...but yes, I see the gist your comment. :) A person's maturity level should be taken into consideration and respected for what it is. Thanks for your thoughts.
