I don't make monkeys, I just train 'em

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Guess who got a tazer for christmas?! that would be me. it's totally unfortunate; i'm not supposed to play with it. so i guess i have to find someone to "surprise." or maybe just hang around downtown alone, dressed sluttily, in the whee hours of the morning. yes, the perfect bait... ::muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!:: i saw the lion king (the play/musical) on new year's eve. it was aight. oh, and i HATE PEOPLE. if i may use one word to describe people in general? oblivious. i happen to have this social anxiety (yes, another one) that makes me always feel like i am in the way. i am very "in-the-way" conscious, and it bothers me that other people are not. at one point, i even made chopping motions in front of me to let everyone know where it was i intended to go, and the lady i almost hit didn't see me, because she was walking forward (a good 10 paces), yet looking at a 93 degree angle. who does that? who.... ::sigh:: anyway. oh, quotable quotes: "if it weren't for me, you'd be beating off buzzards for your next meal" --questionable. pretty hot in these rhinos...hehehehe i mind good mornings a little less, now that i've resolved to hear "good mourning." because that's what it is. i mourn the loss of my beautiful sleep. gosh, i love TGI Fridays. if i could choose a practical super power, it would be the power to instantly know and understand all inside jokes. i'm big on references. i hate not getting jokes. i have exactly 105 work days remaining at this s*it job. that's not including weekends. yes, 105 days, 839 hours, 50,334 minutes, approximately 3,020,040 seconds. thank goodness for coffee. with baileys. (your mom's an alcoholic, shut up!)