How do you get a 10 yr old to do homework?
By mbarryton
@mbarryton (1872)
United States
February 2, 2007 9:42pm CST
im a mother of a 10 year old and i have a real hard time of getting her to focus in school and to bring home her homework and get it done. my 7 yr old isn't like that he goes crazy if he dont get it done and has really great grades. im not sure if she really realizes how important school is or if she just dont care. ive tried talking to her but it seems if it goes in one ear and out the other. i know shes as smart as a whip and im not about to give up on her. ive seen what she can do just dont understand why she wont do it. does anyone else have this problem or any ideas that might be able to help me out?
8 people like this
57 responses
@harwoodkp (285)
• United States
3 Feb 07
There are many different ways to handle this. First thing is you have to be consistant in all parts of their life. If they are supposed to take out the trash, then the same punishement needs to be done as when they dont do their homework.
If you are doing this already, these things helped me. Try different ways to study. It might go from memorizing to applying parts of the homework to life. Just try being creative to make it fun for the child. I know when the grades started going to a's , school became a lot more fun for me.
You know it might not even be the homework, their might be something bothering your child. Just keep your eyes and ears open and hopefully this is not the case.
3 people like this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
4 Feb 07
maybe i should have her checked thank you for your comments and advice
1 person likes this
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
I think you should make your child love school, because no matter what you do, if his heart is not into schooling or making his homeworks, he still won't follow you. But i admit, it's so hard to let kids like school. When i was still young, i have always loved studying and doing my homeworks. I may have not really understand what school was for, but i loved it. I guess the reason why, was that i always get praises from my parents if i do well in school. They would give me rewards for doing my homeworks and bring home my perfect test results. My mom would say, for being a good son and a good student, i'll give you a treat. I get an ice cream or some cookies. i think these things made me love school. You might give this strategy a try, and i hope it will help you. :)
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
Hi sorry, it should be "daughter" cause am a girl..
2 people like this
@emarie (5442)
• United States
3 Feb 07
well, when i was young i had a hard time doing my homework. it wasn't until i reached 8th grade where i started to really do my homework on time, but then again in high school i found a way to never do my homework at home...but thats beside the point.
you should talk with her...not nag. ask her if she gets it. she might not want to do it because she doesn't understand it. i know that was my problem when i was in elementry school. they did a lot to make me do my homework on time. i had a assignment book where i had to write down all my homework assignments and my mother would check it off every night when i would do my homework. and that should help making sure she'll do it. make a rule of no TV or other fun things unless she finishes her homework. always check in on her to make sure she doesn't need any help.
or she could be like my husband, who never did any homework because he was actually beyond that point and didn't need to do his homework to pass a test, he understood everything, like a lazy genius. if she's like that, they she may need some after school thing like silvan or something to help challenge her, or she may need to take harder corses.
whatever the case its wise to talk to her and her teachers. to have good communication with the two should help your daughter find what the real problem is. if its not understanding. already knowing the stuff, or just plain laziness.
GOOD LUCK!
2 people like this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
3 Feb 07
thanks so much for your advice. i have tried taking everything away from her til there was nothing left to take. she can do numbers in her head or tell me about book she read over he weekend but when it comes to school grades and bringing home her homework and actually dong it shes not doing the best i know she can. ive talked with her numerous times but when it comes to stuff like that she acts like shes listening but im not so sure
@emarie (5442)
• United States
11 Feb 07
how is she in class? and her test scores?
it sounds like you might just have to sit there until she does do her homework and make sure she brings it home with her. double check things for her, when she comes home (or you come home) ask to see what homework she does have. if you have to get the assignment list from her teacher in advance to make sure she doens't lie then do it. if she's smart and understands most of the content, then she may just not want to do it, meaning its just laziness. over all, what kind of child is she??
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
3 Feb 07
I would just keep doing exactly what you are doing . Eventually she may realize what you are trying to explain to her and start doing it on her own without you having to get after her .
In our household , my 12 year old wouldn't do his homework either but this is because he was struggling so hard with the work that he didn't understand . They are adjusting his work at school and trying to make it easier for him .
3 people like this
@menaaiza (13)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
iam taking up education and really it is hard for kids to make them do their homework. but the best thing i could say to you is to have a tutor for him. children nowadays believe more on their teacher than parents. other things you can do is to have her classmate in your house and let them do homewroks together. it a good motivation for children and at the same time you are nurturing the social developemtn of the kid.
dont ever ever scold him about the homework nor shout at him bcoz that will make him hates asignment.
motivate her with promises that you can give. for example" i will let you play outside after doing your work" and things like that.
3 people like this
@aijaz_ali (2)
• India
3 Feb 07
Hello, just a bunch of his favourite chocalates daily and you will see him in taking his homework seriously. http://www.desiclassifieds.com.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
3 Feb 07
My 11 y/o daughter is a fanatic about her homework too and also has great grades but my 13 y.o son isnt however he gets it done or he'll end up having to deal with the wrath of mum! I guess the thing that has worked for me is the fact that I only have completely gr 8 and part of gr 9 and ended up in the adult entertainment industry for 15 yrs..the kids know this and I use it all to my advantage...I remind them how much I hated that job in the end and that even back when i was a teen and young adult getting a job without at least a high school diploma was hard and now its pretty much impossible.....I remind them what some other ppl in their lives do and have done because they didnt care about their education when we were younger either etc etc...so if you have any ppl you know or any "negative" experiences in that area to share I would suggest sharing them...If you dont have any or arnet comfortable doign that you could sit down and find out what her thoughts of school, education etc are and why she doenst think its important...Let her have a "no holds barred" moment with you..make sure she understands that her TRUE opinion (not what she THINKS you want to hear)is what you are after so you guys can get to the bottom of it all and figure something out..maybe you could ask her how she would like to try handling it and what the best way would be in HER eyes...and if one of the problems is her NOT bringign her work home let her know that you are willing to work with her but if she isnt going to work with you and really try to come up with a solution you are going to have to have a meetign at the school and set up some sort of "signing" system (when the teachers have to sign her daily planner confirming her homework that needs to be done and YOU have to sign it after its been done)
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
3 Feb 07
REALLY?? wow...I would figure that seeing how education is so important the teacher would be all for it, ya knwo, being a teacher and all....I know back in Ontario (niagara region to be specific) its something that is actually fairly common and accepted by the school staff really and has been since I was in grade 5 (I had to do the signing thing myself)...but if the teacher isnt cool with it (such a shame really) then maybe the school has another method...I do understand that its technically NOT the teachers responsiblity and I too agree with that to an extent but then again I think to myself "you are a teacher to better the future of our children, how could you not want to help" ya know....What about talking to the school counselor or prinicpal maybe...maybe they could over-ride the teachers decision however that could risk the teacher treating your girl differently - only you would knwo that though since you've dealt with the teach already...
Well I would first try the talking to her (your daughter)...I know that my kids come to me becasue I let them speak freely and I want to hear their opinion and work with them (not to say that you dont by any means!!)....You'd be surprised at what a difference it makes doing it that way....and another thing I tell my kids is "the ONLY wrong answer is A LIE..I really want to know what you are thinking and how you feel about (insert topic here)" - I have to do this with my daughter because she has serious issues with being afraid she'll disappoint someone or hurt someones feelings if she is honest...that seems to help almost coax them because lets face it, kids really are conditioned in all areas of their lives to believe that their opinion isnt valid or important so they'll be more inclined to tell you what they think you want to hear rather than whats really on their minds ya know...
all the best of luck to you and your girlie...education really isnt somethign to mess with in todays world...things are so different compared to 20 yrs ago when we could get by on the skin of our butts ya know...
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
3 Feb 07
the principal is agreeing with the teacher i feel like i dont have them on my side,which is helping my child but i appreciate all the advice you have gave thank you
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
3 Feb 07
thanks alot for your advice its really great. with the planner thing tho, i have asked her teacher to please just check and make sure she writes it all down because i do my part at home to make sure if she does it i sign it but the teacher told me thats not her responsibility its Brittany's and yes do an extent i agree with her on that but when Brittany dont write it all down the teacher still looks at me as if its my fault. i mean what am i suppose to do..im not physic..lol...i cant be at that school house everyday all day to see whats going on all i can do is take care of it from my end ya know. sometimes i wonder if some teachers aren't just jokes
1 person likes this
@kerbausama (1335)
• Malaysia
3 Feb 07
love and caring him.i'm sure he loves school and focus because he know he will do the best for you.
.
@ronita34 (3922)
• Canada
4 Feb 07
I think that you should start taking things away that are important to her until she can improve. Have a good talk with her as to why you will be doing this and that you only the best for her and that you love her so much. All that you ask for is her effort and that you know she can do it!
1 person likes this
@badpenny (741)
• Lancaster, Texas
4 Feb 07
I had that problem with my stepson, and I got creative. Instead of making him do homework right away when he got home, I set aside time after dinner to do homework. In order to give him some incentive, I signed up for a continuing education course at my local community college, and we did our homework together. After that first year, the habit was instilled in him, and I had no other problems.
@geejoy (344)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
well, compromise is really a must when you deal with kids....i usually tutor a kinder school kid..im somewhat adjusting to the fact that i usually handle college students but basing on my past encounter with him, when he refused to do what i told him, i usually do some compromise with him that if he will do his assignment with me, i will end the tutorial as early as possible for him to play...i don't know what kind of kid you have there but maybe, study her behavior and try to spot her weaknesses..if her weaknesses will be on her dolls or anything...well, compromise with her..i know this method is a little bit way over board..but then, if this works, well, it works and problem solve...
1 person likes this
@Stringbean (1273)
• United States
5 Feb 07
It sounds as though it might be a bit of a power struggle with you. She knows you want her to do it, so she can win if she doesn't do it. Sometimes it helps to not act as though it is such a big deal.
Some parents don't like to offer prizes in return for doing things like homework, but sometimes it is worth it if it removes the conflict between the children and the parents.
Try making a daily chart for her with a space to check off when her homework is done each day. Tell her that each day will be work 10 points at the end of the week. Then list a reward for 30 points, 40 points and 50 points. Tell her that doing her homework on time only once or twice during the week is not worth a prize and mention that the homework is going to be done, sooner or later, but only if it is done on the correct day will it get prize points.
See if this doesn't move some of the responsibility for getting the work done to her shoulders. If she continues to sluff off on the homework, you may need to get tougher, but it won't hurt to try this for a few weeks, and even let her fail a little. It may wake her up.
@whattobegood000 (1179)
• China
4 Feb 07
i think you just send to tutions class so that she can understand to do homework you can spend money for that then she will be ok
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@calilove143 (237)
• United States
4 Feb 07
Well bribing her would be the best reason,you could tell her that if she improves her ggrades you would get her a presnt or take her out some where that she likes.Hope that helps,I really dont have any kids but I really enjoy them they are really innocent.
1 person likes this
@katan22 (325)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
Maybe you should encourage to study if you try to give her some incentives like giving ou rewards if she gets high grades or something. Try to talk her out because there is also a possibility that she is not telling you something that is happening to her (like she might be getting bullied in school or something). Give her sometime and also try to look aafter her by helping her in her studies maybe she just needs some support in order to keep motivate her to study.
1 person likes this
@manojdaniels (36)
• India
4 Feb 07
Its a common situation which most of the parents face. pls don't worry about it. It will be normal soon.
1 person likes this
@panicdude (456)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
when i was young, i also had that same problem.. i hate doing my homework. But my mom would always treat me with anything just so i can do my homework(like ice cream or a trip to mcdonald's!!). So i suggest that if you give him anything that he desires, he would do his homework (but don't spoil him ok?!?!) GOOD LUCK!
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
4 Feb 07
lol cant spoil someone thats is already rotten lol but thanks for the advice
1 person likes this
