Why REFUSE Help ??
By stateroad
@stateroad (730)
United States
February 3, 2007 2:48pm CST
I am totally confused and a little upset as to WHY people refuse HELP. I try and help elderly people and they will not accept it. I understand that they may still want to be independent but if it is a health risk for them why are they so stubborn. I try to convince Friends to get help for their addictions but they will not seek help. People with an addiction I know cannot be helped until they want to admit they have a problem. I just for the life of me do not understand if someone is good enough to offer help why do others have to refuse it.
2 people like this
7 responses
@stateroad (730)
• United States
3 Feb 07
What about the pride of the person offering the help ?
Do you know how helpless one feels when people will not accept help. I accept it and I am battling an illness.
@cayets1984 (118)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
when you decided to help, it should be as plain as that.
never ask for return in any kind
helping should be a positive thing
if the idea of helping hurts you in any way, then you should think twice before you go
@stateroad (730)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I see your point really I do. I just do not want anything bad to happen to people. In the Winter now
in the cold and snow I do not like 80 year people
walking to the store and carrying bags. I am so afraid
that they will fall and break a bone. Thanks for your input.
@smilingurvashi (1151)
• India
3 Feb 07
well, i think ego can be one of the reasons. the other reason can be the lack of trust between the person giving help and the person who needs it. while some think that somehow may be they might have to pay the price for the help received.
@stateroad (730)
• United States
3 Feb 07
I never accept money for the Favors I do for people. It is not my nature and never was. The people I am offering to help help me . So I want to repay them for what they give to me.
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
3 Feb 07
Most elderly want to be independent, and aactually ARE quite capable of doing things on their own. Being old doesn't mean yuou are weak or astupid. So, why do you feel the need to help others. Its obvious these people aren't asking for help so, all you are doing is interfering, How would you like it if some stranger started telling you that you needed help all the time, and that you weren't capable of doing things by yourself. Butt out until asked
@stateroad (730)
• United States
3 Feb 07
I appreciate you comment. The elderly people I am referring too are not independent and not capable of doing the things they are trying to do. They do not want to ASK for the help or ACCEPT it because they PITY me with my illness. I did not think I would have to go into me having an illness to get my point across but obviously I do. I would like it if people offered to help me. I cannot afford to pay them when they do so when I can to return the Favor they did for me I try to help them. Do you know how usless I feel sometimes ?? I am NOT interfering I am trying to be USEFUL. I am never asked so if I butt out whats the point of living when everyone
just wants to pity me.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
Have you ever considered that unsolicited help is taking away from that person. There is a lady on the bus who always wants to help me and I tell her not thanks, she says she wants to help 10 people every day, and I asked her why her answer to feel good, I then asked her if I asked her if she needed help how she would feel well i am young, she said, So that means I am old and stupid and helpless and not able to help myself, is that how you see me, no she said with a red face. well that is how you make me feel. I am very able to get around by myself and do for myself, if and when I need help I will ask for it but until then please treat me as you wish to be treated, and I am not here to make you feel good. I am here because I want to be and have been granted two legs to walk with, so I am sorry you should only offer help when it is requested, as for people that have addictions, have made a choice to be that way, just as you have made a choice to be the way you are. You can not make anyone change, so do not even go there, You might try and be less judgmental about who needs help and who should change their way of life, . But see that is asking you to change and I will not do that that must be your choice. that what life is all about.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
25 Feb 07
It's a matter of ego and pride. Put yourself in their shoes and you may understand. ^^
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
17 Apr 07
I think people should accept help gracefully if possible. Sometimes it is hard to accept it though. People not only wan to retain their dignity, but they also want to retain their pride. Accepting help can make people feel helpless.
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
6 Feb 07
Some people, have pride, and it is hard to accept help. They want it, but cannot bring themselves to accept it.
