I dont think child support should ever have been invented
@Savannahsmiles (110)
United States
February 4, 2007 9:36am CST
I dont think child support should ever have been an idea..its ridiculouse...It iss a way for exes to hold on to some kind of control after they break up...they are ruining families ...take it from me....Myhusband pays 500 dollars for 1 kind! She didnt file for the child support till the day she found out he was remarried...i think other mothers can get jobs and support them selves or else we are gonna have more woman on public aid colllecting from guys who want to just get over it and move on..they will have children by many different men and keep on collecting...i think if they are able to work, DO IT.
5 people like this
41 responses
@serenae (161)
• United States
4 Feb 07
excuse me. you are just mad that she is taking away from you. I am a single mother, and I work to support my kids. I do get child support only because I need a little help with some of my sons bills. His father and I had agreement when we first split up that if he helped when I asked for it then I wouldn't file, but he stopped helping only because his new wife wouldn't let him. I tried talking to her directly, but she refused to have a grown up discussion with me. Basically it left me with no other choice. See sometimes the ex tries other ways, but there are certain circumstances that leave her/him no choice.
6 people like this
@elizabeth525 (654)
• United States
4 Feb 07
that is understandable. Sometimes people need just a little help but this woman is pretty much taking everything they have.
@dreamsncharms (1340)
• United States
4 Feb 07
it's not the mom needing a little help.. yes we do need a little helo. after all we did not make the babies by ourselves. it is the CHILD'S RIGHT to be supported by both parents. If the child support unit is taking over 60% of hid check than they means that he owes back support most likely. I am sure they don't just decide to say oh gee.. the legal limit is 20 percent but just for fun lets charge this guy 60 percent.
3 people like this
@Savannahsmiles (110)
• United States
4 Feb 07
thank you for your comment i should have worded my discussion different
1 person likes this
@dejiflow (128)
• Nigeria
4 Feb 07
Child support is a good thing. Not every woman will turn it into a money making business. Some have been deliberately deceived by men who promised to marry them, only to abscond when she got pregnant. This will also make men more sexually responsible and less inclined to use women as playthings.
@dixie1 (1330)
• United States
4 Feb 07
Hi,
You sound really angry with this issue.
I disagree with the idea of not having child support.
The support is for the childern, not the x-spouse.
I also, agree with you in that, mothers can look for employment too, if possible. However, in my mind, the best job the wife could have would be providing good parenting to the children.
Sometimes, it seems, it would be wiser for people to decide if they can support children prior to having children. I say this because the kids are innocent and if born have a right to be supported.
Best Wishes
@Savannahsmiles (110)
• United States
4 Feb 07
thank you so much for not being hateful and mean...im sorry if i came off wrong
1 person likes this
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
4 Feb 07
It takes 2 to make a baby. If the guy did not want to take the chance of paying support, he should have kept his pants zipped. That being said a lot of custodial parents do more than they should have to do to support their kids.
You would be upset if the shoe was on the other foot & a guy owed you support. You knew he had a kid before he got married. He is responsible for the child. If you have a problem with it then get a divorce.
4 people like this
@Savannahsmiles (110)
• United States
4 Feb 07
i dont have a problem with i have a problem with the cjild not recieving anything to do with it.....i have a problem with not being able to see the child he supports
2 people like this
@mrsanderson (271)
• United States
4 Feb 07
You might think differently if you were in someones elses shoes. I am a single mother of three children My soon to be ex has not worked in over a year. I do this completely on my own. Our children deserve a good life and I am trying my best. It would be so much easier if he could help just a little...$100 a month...anything to help. My gas bill alone for last month waa $155 and that was with us freezing at night. So for anybody to say child support is stupid is completely out of line. What did my children do to deserve not to have a good life? What did I do to deserve to have to struggle each and every day? I had the flu so bad last week that I wanted to die. Could I call into work? NO! I have to go every single day and bust my but sick or not so I can keep my kids clothed, fed and warm. Just because someone is mad at their situation does not give them a right to generalise all women and say they want to "control" their ex'es. I could care less what he does...I would just appreciate some help now and then!
4 people like this
@serenae (161)
• United States
4 Feb 07
Why can't he see his daughter? It sounds like he has back child support to pay. You will never see it the way a single mom does because you have someone there that cares for you and your child. I am a single mom that goes to work everyday, and I only get one day a week with my kids even though I have custody of them. I am trying to get child support for the other three, but my ex is trying to fight me. He has only worked one job since I can remember, and yet wants to try to fight me when he can't afford to even buy the stuff the kids need for his place. Its just not right what you are saying because it works both ways.
2 people like this
@mrsanderson (271)
• United States
4 Feb 07
And as far as the taxes. File an injured spouse claim ( I think thats what its called) They will review the taxes and figure out what percentage of it is his and give back the rest. Look it up online...print out the forms. It is easy to do yourself.
3 people like this
@mrsanderson (271)
• United States
4 Feb 07
"men who want to get over it and move on" Get over what ? The fact that they have children that deserve their love and support? I am just a bit upset by your comments. You are welcome to live a day or two in my life and see how it feels to be the one left with the entire financial burden.
3 people like this
@questionthis (143)
• Netherlands
4 Feb 07
This is a great subject, but I feel a need to vent a little about it. Who is thinking about the kid? I can understand being angry because the mother is using the money to support her bad habits and not working - and I agree on that point...but all of the "she did he did" BS aside, a man and a woman made a baby, and each of them are resposible for providing for that child together -- no matter what others want or need. This guys ex may be a loser, but that doesn't mean he needs to follow her lead. Buck up - pay the money and smile knowing YOU are doing the right thing for a child that is innocent in this battle! As for the new wife - support you husband in doing the right thing, and be proud that your man is one of the good ones that takes responsibility.
3 people like this
@elizabeth525 (654)
• United States
4 Feb 07
The child lives with her grandparents luckily! It is good to know she in a safe loving environment. I think you are right that the world needs more guys to actually pay child support to kids who need it. it just sucks that the world also has people who pretty much abuse the system for their own good
1 person likes this
@dreamsncharms (1340)
• United States
4 Feb 07
You must be completely brainless to have such views. His support he is paying 500.00 could be high because he owes arrears. I'm sure they did not randomly decide to take more money from your husband than they should for fun. His child support issues are none of your business anyways, It's between his ex and himself. 500.00 per month is not so much money that woman are running and celebrating, and quitting their jobs. Do you know that most Day care providers cost about 500.00 a month? And than what? The child has to eat and also has to be clothed 4 seasons per year.. oh yeah and than there is utilities and oh rent because the child needs a roof over his head too right?
Keep running your mouth without doing some research on what it costs to be a single mom. Been there done that. I'm remarried and my ex sometimes pays support and usually does not. My husband pays support o his ex too and does not cry about it.
2 people like this
@elizabeth525 (654)
• United States
4 Feb 07
It is hard to do when they have to deal with the mother who can not have an adult conversation. This woman will scream on the phone. She has even told her daughter to say mean hateful things on the phone. This kid is only 5 or 6. A kid should be able to trust her her mother ya know? Another problem is the mother will not give them any information like phone numbers or addresses of her parents. All they know is the general area where they live- not even their names really. So it makes things really tough when you have a person who does not cooperate. and yes to say that people who recieve child support blow it is unfair but we are talking about THIS siutaion. It is unfair to the child, it is unfair to the grandparents, it is unfair to the husband, it is unfair to his wife and his second child that lives with him. The only one bebfitting is the mother and she has all the information they need to try to change things and she will not give them any of it because that would cut her off. WHY should she want to work when she has this money coming in?
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I was all ready to blast off on my feelings on that subject but as I live in Savannah I looked at your profile. Now I know you are are woman who either has never been in the shows of a mother trying to support her children while her ex is probably spending it on his new wife, has no compassion or is insecure and jealous to this of her husband still having ties to his ex wife. Suck it up, wait till he dumps you for a new female...
2 people like this
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
lets give it a doubt to some mothers. i dont think they just making money out of their own children and their own feeling. if i were the woman who have a child and the father of my kid had married or have someone its gonna be hard to ask support but come to think of it, its not just your own child. he also had a father and i believe even if your not together anymore its the responsibility of the father and the mother to take good care of his needs. its not just the mother alone. and i learned too that a mother cant demand too much to the father coz the capacity of the father on how much he will going to give is also consider. specially if the father had a family of his own.
2 people like this
@babydolphin (536)
• Australia
4 Feb 07
Okay, maybe some woman is like what you say, have child by different men and just collect. But think for those mothers, who are really left behind by unfaithful partners, who really try to work but have no enough income to support herself and her kids. What about them? IF there are no child support, it will be easy for the guys, they can just get some girl pregnant, and after that claim no responsibility, the girl herself will became the victim and it will basically ruin her life. I think child support was invented so that it will help this woman and their kids. Guys who wants to just get it over and done with, shows that they have no responsibility. Sure they may not want the girl anymore, but the least they can do is that to support the child that they made. They should be responsible for their actions.
2 people like this
@Savannahsmiles (110)
• United States
4 Feb 07
ok i take that part back i was mad....how do i get people to stop writing hatefully...can i take it back and just be pissed at my own situation?
2 people like this
@pacodecabra (160)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I understand that you're frustrated, but does your husband feel the same way? Alimony is one thing, but a man who won't support his own children is not a man.
2 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Here here!!! My ex pays his child support but that is really all he does. I asked for half of the unpaid medical expenses for our almost 16 year old daughter last week (first time in her life I asked and the divorce says he pays half). He flat out refused ... now I will probably have to take him to court.
I hate hearing her talk about him and calling him her father - he's not a father he's a sperm donor
1 person likes this
@slasheuse (79)
•
4 Feb 07
Whenever someone attacks you for this really very stupid opinion, you immediately backtrack and say "oh no, I have no problem with YOU getting money, it's just MY situation I object to" which isn't at all what you said in the discussion opener. How dare you want to take away this right from women and children. You absolutely disgust me.
2 people like this
@classicwoman (30)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Your wrong!!! Are you jealous of your husbands child? That is how it is sounding he laid down and made the child now he needs to pay for the child. If it wasn't for child support there would be way more women on public assist. That is why they have child support so mothers can still get help from the fathers and not have to live from one day to the next. You are just way wrong. Now if this was your child and your husband left you is that saying you don't want child support. Not, you sure would be filing for it. You can't say you wouldn't!!!!!!!
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
4 Feb 07
Child support is needed to help those parents who are taking care of their kids on their own. You can't allow someone to just abandon their kids after getting divorced. Both parents have a responsibility to help raise their kids, even if they are no longer together. One person should not take responsibility on their own, unless they choose to do so. Some parents do take care of their kids by themselves and work a job and that still does not cover all the expenses involved. He or she can not work two jobs and try to take care of their children.
2 people like this
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
4 Feb 07
Child Support should def have been invented! Why shouldn't these men have to worrie about coming up the money to pay the child support...we are mothers have to worrie about the bills..and sometimes how we are going to pay the rent and where the childs next meal is going to come from. They shouldn't be aloud to walk away....why not put some worrie on them as well. I do agree that some of the monthly payments are def a bit outragious tho...I have heard of one person paying nearly 800 dollars for one child... That is alot!
2 people like this
@hikarushidou (843)
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
Well child support is created for the child so I hope you wont take it against the ex. She's not the only one who created their baby, the guy has so much to do with it too. We all know its hard to have a responsibility but thats the price we pay for being irresponsible.
@chromecowgirl37 (283)
• United States
5 Feb 07
So why should the children have to suffer because either parent is a retard? You should come back to this post after you have to survive as a single parent. He ditched her and left her with a kid, what makes you think he won't do it to you too?
@cfrdjlilbrat (248)
• United States
5 Feb 07
so you are saying that a child should do without such luxuries as food, shelter, health care and clothing just because it's parents got a divorce? a child is a lifetime commitment to both parents. you knew he had a child before you wed him i assume? so why don't you work more for the things that you want and let that FATHER take care of his child as he is supposed to do?
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
5 Feb 07
You keep saying that buy how can you be sure. The OP might be lying or she could be going off what her hubby is saying.
I find it curious that he doesn't see the child and isn't fighting that!?
@cfrdjlilbrat (248)
• United States
7 Feb 07
if that is the case, then the father needs to apply to end the support. the grandparents need to apply for it. it sounds like the father needs to step in and care for his child as half the genes in that child's body are his.
@LadyMagpie (236)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I was going to comment quite angrily about how it's the father's child too and he should be responsible, but it seems to me that there's more going on that you said in your first post.
I think you ought to avoid generalizing your situation onto others. Just because you are having a bad experience with a bitter woman doesn't mean all women are like that.
2 people like this
